Hollis is done with hanging around the bar on Valentine’s Day. He’s going to stay in -- alone -- and watch some movies. At least, that’s the plan. But his coworker’s half-brother’s cousin, better known as Ryan, is new in town. And although the lunch they shared was more levels of awkward than a house of cards, fate must want them to become friends, because on his way home after picking up his Valentine’s Day dinner, Hollis runs into Ryan again. The nice thing to do is to invite him up for dinner -- who wants to be alone in a new city on Valentine’s Day, right? The night leads to a dinner offer in return, a night bowling, a dinner party. When Ryan is relaxed, he’s a lot of fun, but he’s also a lot of work, facing off panic and anxiety in waves. But that isn’t a problem, because friends are there for each other. And they are, after all, friends. Just friends. Right?

Holding Hands

He forced a noisy exhale, and it was only when he moved to run his fingers through his hair, did he realize that Ryan was still holding his hand. Gentle and warm, not limp and just happening to be there. It was there. Maybe not quite holding, but not letting go either.


Ryan answered with a squeeze of his hand. Not even a glance. Hollis squeezed back, hoping for a reaction but getting nothing. He inhaled and settled into the seat, staring at the filthy Plexiglas between them and the driver. Unable to look at Ryan any longer. Not able to look away, though.


Ryan’s thumb stroked over the heel of his hand, and he squeezed. Then silence. Long, never-ending silence. Hollis tried not to move, tried not to breathe lest the moment—the string of moments—be broken. Every tap of the brakes, every turn, every blaring horn made him more still.


Chapter 17