Chapter 2

His friends had encouraged him to go out and dance and drink the night away. “Tonight you can forget everything and worry about it tomorrow,” his friend Tony had told him. Carlos was thankful for the tiny surrogate family he had found when he moved. His was estranged from his natural family, and it would have been hard if his support system wasn’t in place. While he should have been grinding up against some handsome man, perhaps even stealing a few kisses here and there, that wasn’t meant to be.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or just been texted a nude you didn’t ask for!” Tony asked.

Carlos could hardly get the words out. He couldn’t stop staring at his phone.

“My mother. She was in a car accident and…and she didn’t make it. They couldn’t save her. My brother Beto just texted to tell me.”

Tony gave Carlos a big hug. The tight squeeze felt good and comforting, almost enough to make Carlos break down in the middle of the club. Though he knew he had to keep it together until he got home, which he was desperately trying to do.

“Texted?” Tony’s face displayed shock as he pulled away from Carlos.

“Me and Beto haven’t been that close for a while, and it got worse after I left.”

“Yeah,” Tony interjected. “Still, human decency means you call someone to tell them the news. How did it happen?”

“I don’t know. I’m leaving right now to go home and find out. Then I’ll make arrangements to go back to Texas and—”

Suddenly the world turned very hazy, and the room began to spin in different directions, until everything finally went black.

* * * *

When Carlos came to, he was surrounded by a bunch of people he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but he knew it was probably embarrassing as hell. The clearer his vision got, the more he realized that he was on the ground looking up at concerned faces.

“There you go. Nice to have you back. We were about to call the paramedics.” It was Tony’s voice. He was close, yet not next to Carlos.

“Please don’t. I’m fine. I think I just got a little overwhelmed. I just need to get home.”

“I can go with you if you’d like,” Tony said as he moved next to Carlos.

Carlos smiled weakly. “Thank you, you don’t have to though. I’ll be okay.”

“Nonsense. You’re my bestie and that’s what we do. Now, let’s get you to your place and figure this all out.”

Tony took Carlos by the hand and picked him up. Tony made sure to get Carlos’s keys before taking him home. He also held his hand the whole way, which Carlos greatly appreciated.

* * * *

“Do you mind if I get a glass of water?” Tony asked as Carlos gathered some clothes to take with him. He was having trouble deciding just what to take. His family lived on ranch, and his wardrobe had changed over the years.

“No, go ahead.”

“Do you want anything?”

Carlos shook his head and continued scouring his closet. Nothing seemed right. While still in Texas, he didn’t have the type of clothes that a rancher’s kid would wear. He knew it would be hot, but he would also need some sturdy jeans and tougher shoes. Nothing he was looking at would remotely protect him from the elements of his family’s ranch. Oh well, he thought. I’ll just have to stay indoors. That’s what they expect me to do anyways.

Tony came back with his water and placed himself on Carlos’s bed. “So, can I ask you a personal question?”

Carlos knew what was coming. He had avoided talking about his family with most people, even with close friends such as Tony. He continued going through his clothes, hoping Tony wouldn’t notice his awkwardness.

“Take a break for a minute and come sit with me. You can’t avoid telling me about what happened with your family forever.”

Carlos reluctantly put down the few garments he felt would do and sat on the bed next to Tony. “There’s really not much to tell. When I came out, they weren’t too happy. They didn’t throw me out or anything, there was just a sudden coldness. My dad was never the touchy-feely type, so it wasn’t too different from before. What really hurt was how my mother reacted. We were always close, and even though I knew she was a devout Catholic, I thought that somehow, she would understand. But she didn’t. From then on, she really didn’t say much to me. So, when I was able to get up and go, I did. Never looked back.”

Tony wiped a small tear from his eyes. “That is so sad. So different from what I experienced. It always breaks my heart to hear stories like that.”

“Yeah, it was tough. Could have been worse though. At least they didn’t send me to conversion therapy.”

“Still, you must have felt so isolated.”

Suddenly memories of hearing his parents fighting about whose fault it was, the awkward dinners, the constant questions of where he was going and who he was going with flooded Carlos’s thoughts. He was sixteen when he told them, and eighteen when he moved out. Though he’d hardly spoken to them, he remembered the last conversation very well.