With the name of Jesse Thomas Cromwell, he definitely belongs in the world of Renaissance Faires. Playing old instruments of yore and singing ballads and bawdy tunes puts him on stage. This is Jesse’s favorite pastime, and things are going well until bagpiper James opens up a competition on a neighboring stage. Jesse becomes louder and bawdier until security comes and kicks him out.<br><br>Later James finds Jesse and apologizes for the ruckus. Together with a young lad whose faire gear was stolen and James’s niece, or maybe now nephew, they hatch a plan to get back into the Ren Faire. There are signs James isn’t altogether straight, but can Jesse answer that question in a satisfying way? Especially when they just might get thrown out of the faire again?

The Troubador

So picture it; it’s the sixteenth century and the country fair in is town; all the townspeople and the countryfolk are gathered to hear the pleasant crooning of the visiting minstrel, he who is dressed as she, and she/I—I’m getting myself mixed up now—is bellowing—I can project my voice very well when I want, so can Henry Eight. For your reference, the song is a bit like the ancient “Barnacle Bill the Sailor” from around that time, only not as clean:


“What’s that around your staff? asked the fair young maiden / T’is only me grass to tickle yer ass, said Carbuncle Carl the sailor.”


Everyone is clapping their hands over their heads and singing along with me


“But what if we should go to jail? asked the fair young maiden / Well…With a whip of my cock I’ll break the lock, said Carbuncle Carl the sailor / And with a whack of my balls I’ll break down the walls…”


Chapter 9