Chapter 16

Nathan took a long drag on the cigarette and slowly let out the smoke. He couldn’t buy shit tonight. If he did, he’d do it all. He’d miss work tomorrow, would probably forget the weekend even existed, wouldn’t answer Laura’s inevitable call, and might very well come to his senses standing on the ledge of a high bridge over a ravine filled with the sharp twigs of trees and the ragged edges of rocks. He’d look down at that fall and think it was the sanest idea he’d ever had to stand there until his toes were over the side, then his foot, then his leg, and then…

Such desperation seemed promised to him. He didn’t know when the other, realer, crazier Nathan had taken over, but his job and his desire for a better life were distant stars high above the water closing over his head.

“Nah,” Nathan said, dropping the cigarette to snub it out with his toe. “I’m set.”