Another year has passed for the Icicle family. Again, Jonah and his boyfriend Sandy travel to Lake Erie to spend Christmas with Jonah’s family. Brother-in-law Bobo needs rescuing from the mall from an angry Santa. Sister Willa is dog-sitting a problematic Reginald. And Bill, the patriarch, continues to hide from his family. As for Jonah’s pushy mother Pam, she has a special Christmas gift for him this year: Jonah’s ex-boyfriend, NFL quarterback Ricky, is in town and will be spending the holidays with them!<br><br>During this three-day trip, Sandy and Ricky learn to despise each other, and Jonah struggles to have a festive Christmas. If Pam has her way, though, Jonah will dump Sandy and marry the quarterback. As his Christmas spirit dwindles, Jonah finds himself torn between the two men. Which boyfriend will it be, new or old?

Keeping Up with the Icicles

Jonah feels Ricky’s hot breath on his face. It smells like compressed chicken and a factory-made brownie; products in the frozen dinner he has eaten. Flustered, unsure of the moment, but knowing that Ricky is about to cross a line, kissing him, Jonah quickly pulls out of the quarterback’s grip and makes contact with Ricky’s chin with a hard, half-balled fist.


Aghast, disbelieving what transpires in the Tudor’s foyer, Ricky steps backwards, reaches for his chin with his right palm and its set of fingers, and says, “You punched me.”


“No buts, Ricky. We’re not hooking up tonight. I have a boyfriend. A serious one. And a guy that I just might end up marrying and spend the rest of my life with. I suggest you go home and think about this, pal. You and I are not a thing. We’re friends. Only friends. That’s all we’ll ever be. Get that through your head. I’m not single.”


Chapter 21