The mid-40s are that time in a gay man's life when his major paradigm shifts from sexy to Sansabelts. But when Barry Grooms's partner of twenty years is killed on Barry's forty-fifth birthday, his world doesn't so much evolve as it does explode.<br><br>After navigating through the surreal conveyor belt of friends and family, he can't eat another casserole or swallow much more advice on what constitutes grief. Still numb, he leaves his homestore and design business in the care of others as he escapes to Key West, then New York. There he gets a thankless new job working for a crazy lady in a poncho, then has too many drinks with a narcissistic Broadway actor. Next it's a nude exercise class that redefines flop sweat, and from there he's on to a relationship with a man twenty years his junior.<br><br>Yet no matter how great the retreat from the man he used to be, life's gravity spins Barry back to the small town where he grew up for one more ironic twist that teaches him how to say goodbye with grace.

The Cool Part of His Pillow

If I keep my mouth shut, I’ve enabled. If I tell, I could toss him into the legal system. He’s just old enough that a criminal record will snap at his heels for a lifetime.


“He’s home. That’s a big help,” she says gratefully.


I can speak up later if the situation worsens, but how will I know? I focus on what I can control. “If you get me the keys and parking garage ticket, I’ll figure out a transport service to return Luke’s car.”


Mindy clamps my wrist as she delivers her final jaw-dropper sympathetically: “Barry, his car is here.”


From within the Hertz rental hub, I see Alexander’s SUV merge into traffic. I wonder what sacrifices Luke made to reach me in New York City, if it explained the battering his body took, and I wonder what animal would take glee in doing that to a seventeen-year-old.


Chapter 88