If Chad is reticent to drop in on Dr. Fortescue's big annual holiday bash without a date, imagine his horror when he arrives to discover the party revolves around a city-wide scavenger hunt with a two-to-a-team policy stricter than Noah’s. Worse, his efforts to pair up with his hunky doctor crush are thwarted, and he winds up being assigned the doofus with an elbow in the punch bowl as a partner.<br><br>It turns out scavenger hunts are hard -- were they really supposed to dognap the doctor's neighbor's dachshund and carry it around the mall all night? But running around with Jarek is easy. And kinda fun.<br><br>Even with help from an unsuspecting celebrity and Santa’s sexiest elf, it’s starting to look like a participation trophy might be the best they can hope for prize-wise, but Chad starts to wonder if losing alongside Jarek might not be its own kind of win.

Chad vs. the Holiday Hoopla

“Does everybody know Chad?” he surprised me by asking. There were a few murmured pleasantries from among the assembled, which seemed to the doctor a satisfactory answer. “Chad puts our number at an even twenty-four,” he announced. “And so, with twelve teams of two, the annual Holiday Hoopla Scavenger Hunt is ready to begin!”


A modest cheer arose, although not from me. “Actually…” I muttered. To no one in particular. What was I gonna do, leave?


Dr. Sabrosowas actually patting me on the back. And if we’re being honest, getting myself into any kind of demi-god shape, while not a physiological impossibility, might well take a couple months, and who was he more liable to wait for—the wet blanket, or the Hero of the Holiday Hoopla?


Chapter 5