Chapter 22

“I’d better have a couple more sips to be sure,” I told the cat. She sneezed. I’m sure it’s her sneezing that threw my balance off and made me dizzy. But I’m sure I was wide awake when the pirates came running through the bar.

“Where’s the damn captain, that rogue! I’ll make him walk the plank! He killed my father!”

“Prepare to die!” shouted the younger one.

I stood up. “You can’t kill him until after he performs my wedding ceremony!” See, I couldn’t have said that if I had been drunk, now could I?

“Wait, you’re going to marry him?” said the older pirate as he screeched to a dead (ha, more about this later) halt.

“No, he’s going to marry me!”

“Same fucking thing.”

I think I started to cry, either that or I had a sneezing fit and threw up. That could be it.

“Captain Tiny Cat! Here you are! You little whore. Oh look at the dear, sweet babies, too, look Grandpa Drystan! I’ll carry them all!”