Chapter 95

“Don’t be silly. It’s delightful. I paid a visit to the booth with the pies. Apparently, for a small donation, I can throw a pie at anyone I like. I think I’ve decided to throw a pie at you, Wiley. You’re ever so stubborn. Poor Jackie has been mooning around like a lost soul, and you won’t even call.”

“I might pay my five bucks and throw a pie at him,” I said.

“Why don’t you? It will make you feel better.”

I looked at Jackson, who offered the merest hint of a smile.

“It wouldmake me feel better,” I agreed. “But then I’d have to pay another five dollars and throw a pie at you, Mrs. L, because you’re a huge, gigantic, enormous, endless pain in my ass.”

“If I’m going to give it up, I want a sizeable donation for the cause, Wilfred. A mere five dollars won’t cut it, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll pay a hundred dollars,” Jackson said straight off.

“Aren’t you sweet?” she asked. “My adorable son!”

“Well, you are a pain in the ass, Mom.”