It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

“Out!” Sandy yells and points behind him at the door. “Get the fuck out of here now! Go watch the movie! Jonah’s ass is off limits to your dick! I don’t care what condition you have!”


There are pounding footsteps on the stairs and in the hallway. Before anyone inside the bedroom realizes it, Willa arrives at the scene. She goes ballistic and speaks over everyone, “You all need to calm down! Just calm down!” She points to her husband and instructs him, “Bobo, pull your pants up and cover your dick! Go downstairs and watch Fight Club.” She turns to her brother and Sandy, shakes her head, and whispers in a soothing tone, “I’m sorry about this, you two. I’ll have another talk with my husband. I know this has happened more than once. Dr. Fentonall says he’s a work in progress, which I agree with. Unfortunately, Bobo’s problem is all our problems. We simply have to take this one day at a time.”


“He almost had his dick inside me,” Jonah utters, wide-eyed and on fire.


Chapter 17