It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

Shocked, Sandy receives the gay erotic novel Rope his Cowboyby Tex Dawson with a large tube of K-Y. “Who gave me these?”


“I definitely didn’t,” Jake admits.


Bobo and Magnum snicker. Bobo admits, “It’s a joint gift from the pair of us. We think you’d make a hell of a cowboy. It’s sort of a how-to book.”


And the evening progresses with strong cocktails, glasses of wine, a game of Christmas-themed charades, and much laughter. 31: Bill Tries


Near midnight the storm grows outside and causes more havoc. The wind picks up and slaps against the house on Ross Street. Snow mixes with ice, cracking as it makes contact with the windows. A howling sound becomes eerie, ghost-like, and unkind to one’s ears. Whatever stirs outside is of Christmas Past and is intent on delivering the most callous of gifts.


Chapter 28