It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

Jonah kisses Sandy again. “Do you want to finish what we started before we were rudely interrupted?”


“No. Let’s just hold each other and go to sleep.”


Thus, this is done. Jonah holds his lover in his arms and the two men drift into solemn sleep. Light snoring follows on the second floor and the storm outside heightens, bringing Christmas and their wedding day. The Icicles and lovers and husbands and wives and hiders and pot smokers and miniskirt-wearers all take to Christmastime dreams as if they are in a comedic Shakespearian play. In the meantime, snow builds over Channing, falling down from the night’s alluring and velvet heavens, one inch, two inches, three inches, and more, blanketing a fresh, white, twirling, and fluffy layer of lakeside snow over the town, bringing in the new and festive day. A special day. Baby Jesus’ birthday. A wedding day. 33: The Secret Language of Sleeping


Chapter 30