It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

Panic sets in. His hands begin to shake and his heart thumps and races. Nothing feels manageable as more snow falls from the all-white sky. All he can think of is a mismanaged list of things to accomplish today: obtain the tuxes and dress for the day, get to Cutter Church on time, reach out to and make sure the harpist (Hildegard Banter) gets to the church, be sure that his family arrives at The Golden Mongoose for the reception, confirm that Pastor Blaine Hardwick will be at the church, do the ceremony, confirm with Cookie Coke that The Melodramatic Sisters of West End will attend the reception, check with Pam that she will set up the cookie tables, and prepare the caterers at the Mongoose that they should be on task because he will not have enough time to babysit them today because he is one of the stars of the show.


Chapter 32