It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

“I couldn’t.” Rory shakes his head. “We both win today. I get to have an amazing workout for my legs, torso, and arms, and you get your tuxes. I’d feel embarrassed taking your cash.”


“How about a gentleman’s handshake then?”


“I’m a hugger,” Rory confesses. “Bring one in.”


And so this is done. The two men hug, which then turns into a threesome of a hug since Sandy joins the pair. It’s compact, tender, and friendly. 39: Preparatory Matters


Between noon and two, because Cookie Coke is apparently high on coke, and because Jonah doesn’t feel he can honestly count on the woman to accomplish her duties, he and Sandy sit at the dining room table, skim through their cell phones for important wedding-related contacts, and reach out to:


Chapter 34