It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

“Jonah and Sandy, you are meant to be beautiful with each other, and to each other, an expression of your love. Your pledge and commitment today is of joy, care, trust, and love for each other.


“You have chosen each other to be wedded husbands from this day forward. For better and worse. For richer and poorer. In sickness and health. To love and to cherish ‘til death do you part.


“At this time, may we please have the rings, Sandy?”


Sandy removes the Dungeons and Dragons bag from his front, left pocket. His hands shake and he almost drops the bag to the floor. He passes the purple velvet bag to Pastor Blaine.


Sobs fill the church, echoing. Jonah sees Willa, Pam, and Soozie crying among the guests. Tissues collect against noses and eyes.


Pastor Blaine holds the bag in his hands. “Interesting.” He removes the rings one by one and returns the bag to Sandy, and makes the joke, “You might need this back for game night.”


Chapter 39