It's been eleven years since Nick ran off with David for the West Coast. And though his life resembles a blue dream, after more than a decade of bar tending in resorts and cruise ships, Nick is finally thinking of heading home. First, he needs to go see about David in Vancouver ...<br><br>When he arrives, Nick finds a community of young men devastated by AIDS. Part of him wants to flee back to Montreal, but David is dying and Nick knows his place is by his best friend's side. In those four days and nights in David's apartment by the English Bay, Nick learns more about himself than he ever did before. When it's all over, he packs his bag and locks up his grief, determine to honor the promise he made to David of opening up his own restaurant.<br><br>Five years later, Nick is gaining a reputation in the industry as a chef, but has yet to have any meaningful relationships. Until Derek O'Reilly, that redheaded kid with the avocado-green eyes he used to know, walks into his dining room and ignites Nick's passion once more.

Blue Awakenings

I was finally where I needed to be at in my life. And now this? A kid? How could I possibly make it work?


“I’m too busy,” I said, moving my arm away and staring at my only real friend. “I can barely take care of you, right?”


But the truth was, it wasn’t only that I was too busy to be any kind of a father, I was too lonely. Too beat-up inside. I hadn’t dated anyone in five years. Hadn’t even had any real meaningful sex with anyone, aside from a few one night stands I’d always regret the next morning. I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to genuinely care about someone enough to have a thought for them during the day. My mind was always on work. My heart was a vast plain of nothingness. I didn’t even know where my soul had gone.


How could I be anyone’s father in the barren emotional state I was in?


Esco barked, and startled, I tugged on his collar. “Hey, what’d I say about that?”


Chapter 23