Chapter 51

“That I loved you?”

“Yeah.”

“Always.”

“Aww.”

“The bed. Sleeping with you. Yeah. There was something about being next to you, sex off the table. Just being near you—a feeling. I actually just listened to you breathe, instead of going over everything—all the bad stuff in my head. And, of course, I thought about getting up—about running away. Like I always do. Like I always did. But I couldn’t. Something kept me there. My quiet mind. A quiet mind, Shrimpy, that’s how I knew.”

Ben kissed him. He had to, like that day in the hotel parking lot.

“I never had that with anyone else I slept with,” Adam said when they pulled apart.

It was Ben’s turn to fake a gasp. “You slept with other people?”

“Honestly? Not since London. Not for a while before, even. Had I known you and Richie weren’t together anymore…” Adam took more trash to the kitchen. Ben followed.

“Had you called, or written, or e-mailed, or…”

Adam looked genuinely rebuked.