Toronto, Canada, 2006. A few months after the worst year of the Iraq war. Gabriel Navarro splits his time between his job slinging ink at the Atlantis Ink tattoo parlor, and working on his master’s degree in fine art. Gabe is twenty-two, sure of his beliefs and his artistic integrity, and na?ve enough to think he’ll never have to compromise. And then one night Jake MacLean walks into the shop and changes everything. Jake Maclean is twenty-eight and a veteran American Army pilot. He's been staying with his ex-pat sister in Toronto while he tries to get his life in order. The problem is, he can't. After his disastrous final mission in Iraq, he's overcome with anger and survivor’s guilt, trapped in a losing battle to atone for a failure he’s sure can never be forgiven. Left without hope, he decides to have his memory of the mission tattooed on his back, with the condemning words: God Will Judge Me. He doesn't expect to fall for the tattoo artist. Gabe falls just as quickly and deeply for Jake, though Jake's reluctance to talk about what happened frustrates and worries him. Gabe knows Jake isn't doing well, but accepting Jake’s claims that he's "fine" is far easier than dealing with the frightening truth. But soon it’s horribly clear Jake can’t control his panic attacks or flashes of violence, and he's getting worse. If Gabe can’t help him face his demons, Jake is headed for a crash -- and there’s every chance he’ll take Gabriel down with him.

Black Hawk Tattoo

“It’s like you don’t think at all. Didn’t you know we’d be worried about you?”


“No, I didn’t,” Jake gritted out. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I’m so fucking dumb, okay?” That was true, but it sounded sarcastic so he tried to even out his voice. “All I was thinking about was…was getting away. Just…I don’t know.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. It felt like someone was shoving rocks into his eyes. He was so tired. “I just wanted to disappear.”


“That sounds like you wanted to be dead.”


Jake shook his head. “It’s not the same thing.”


“Come on—you were on a bridge, Jake,” Gabriel said. “You just told me you want to disappear. How could that not be the same thing?”


“Because it’s not!” Jake didn’t know why Gabriel was getting so angry about this, but Jake was already pissed off and this argument wasn’t helping. “Will you leave it? I wasn’t going to jump.”


“Sure you weren’t,” Gabriel sneered. “Because everything else you did last night was so life-affirming.”


Chapter 111