Chapter 2

Billy stared down at his bright shirt and exhaled in a huff. His palms had started to sweat, and his face felt hot.

“Okay,” he muttered under his breath, “stay calm, don’t panic.” He breathed steadily and looked for signs that led to the hall with panels.

There was a really interesting panel listed about identity in comics, and Billy figured if he sat tucked away in a corner he could concentrate on the talk and calm himself down a bit.

The panel hadn’t started yet, and Billy found a seat in the back and sank down gratefully. He set his backpack on the floor and subtly tugged the scrunchie from his hair, then tried to smooth the wavy mass with his fingers.

He hid the scrunchie in his bag, giving it one last lingering look before he zipped the bag closed.

Maybe another day, he thought.

* * * *

The panel was actually a lot of fun, and just what Billy had needed to ground himself.

He texted Rosa too, and she sent him photos of their redecorating which, mundane as it was, helped Billy feel a bit calmer just to chat to his best friend.

He stayed for one more panel on comics script writing, which was so very much what Billy was into, he took a few notes on his Supergirl notepad and hoped one day soon he could ultilize all those awesome tips.

After that panel was done, Billy couldn’t wait any longer to get back to the main hall and start shopping

He took his bag and wandered around the table of exhibitors, browsing the goods, purchasing indie comics, a game, and two new T-shirts.

Although, the new shirts weren’t any less conspicuous than the one he had on. He’d bought a white shirt with Batman kissing Superman on the front, because it was cute, and then a black shirt with Nightwing in a sexy pin-up pose.

He still had a bit of money left. Maybe he could find a more…regular shirt.

But first, he needed coffee, and a pastry.

There was a small coffee shop close by, and Billy took a break in there to eat and recharge

He also checked the venue map on his program, seeing where the artist alley was. He knew that Maya, a friend of his, would probably be in there selling their art. Billy would go there next

He was just finishing his cinnamon roll when he spotted a familiar face out in the hall.

Billy swallowed hard, nearly coughing in surprise.

It was AJ, the guy Billy had had an almost, sort of, not quite thing with last year.

Or, maybe more accurately, Billy had crushed on him when they’d met and started hanging out, and mistook AJ’s interest in him as romantic. Turned out, AJ wasn’t into Billy and, as he’d said more than once, he only dated cis guys, or very binary trans guys.

So, not Billy at all.

And AJ hadn’t been the first guy to tell Billy that, but he hadbeen the first guy in a long time to get Billy’s hopes up that something would spark between them.

They’d met at the Brooklyn trans masc group, at one of those slightly awkward meetings where hardly anyone came, only Billy and two other people. AJ was in his late twenties, younger than Billy but friendly, sassy and cute.

Finding AJ as a friend had been a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it had been nice to have a friend who was also single and trans. Billy didn’t know anyone else who was in their thirties like him, and who was either single or trans, or just wanted to hang out with him.

But, on the other hand, hanging out with AJ and getting his hopes up, then getting friend-zoned…that had really sucked. Billy was still carrying some feelings over all that.

He didn’t blame AJ at all; shit happened. Sure, they’d gotten along fine and some of their interests had overlapped, like watching comic book movies. But where Billy was, at heart, an awkward geek, AJ was far more outgoing and enjoyed going to nightclubs and the gym. So, they hadn’t had all that much in common after all.

Which was why Billy found it so jarring to spot AJ here today. Nerdy little comic fairs were his territory, surely. Sometimes he wished people would get the hell off his lawn and leave him in peace.

Billy waited until AJ had disappeared into the exhibitor hall, then he grabbed his bags and headed in the opposite direction, to artist’s alley.

He’d go find Maya, say a quick hey to them, then get the heck out of dodge.

Billy felt grumpy, hot and sweaty from stress. He tried to be patient as he wove through the other people browsing tables of comic art. He kind of wanted to use his bulk to push through them all, but he made himself take deep breaths and count to ten instead.