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Chapter 60

Another shot with the hose, this one higher, I feel the spray fleck

my neck and chin, and he tells me, “So leave already. Get your shit

together and get the fuck out of here, if that’s what you want to

do.”

I don’t want it to end like this. “Kent—”

He turns away, veins in his neck and face

standing like cords beneath his skin. “I’m through with you,” he

says.

I turn and race for the house.

* * * *

I burst through the screen door and into the

kitchen, tears that I refuse to cry blurring my vision into a

kaleidoscope of colors and shapes that mean nothing to me. Kent’s

words still echo in my ears—and you think I don’t?Jesus,

what the hell was I supposedto think? He’s never said he

loved me, he does nothing to drive the point home, he thinks a

halfhearted fuck and a place to live is enough to show me he cares?

How could I notfall for Luke, when he can’t stop touching

me and he holds me tight long after we both come, and he tells me