Chapter 75

“Nathan…I…I’m sorry,” Jim choked out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Jim…”

“I remember…everything this time.Everything,” Jim admitted. “God, Nate…I don’t want to scare you like this. I never…never want you to see me like this.”

“Jim,” Nathan said more firmly. He sensed the angst, the self-loathing that was coming, and he didn’t want Jim to keep doing that to himself. Nathan knew he wasn’t one to talk, but it was his job to get on his brother’s case, damn it. “Don’t go blaming yourself for this, Jim. I don’t care if those amber eyes are a part of you, they’re not you. They’re not—”

“They’reme, Nate,” Jim broke in. Both their bodies were leaning into each other for support, with Nathan’s head held against Jim’s chest and Jim’s face pressing into Nathan’s hair. “This is my fault,” Jim said. “Every time I think I can let the walls down a bit, it feels so open…so bare. I can feel everything I’m capable of, Nathan, and I can’t stand it. That’s why I keep putting the walls back up.”