Wings to Heaven

I will admit I lost track of time, if I had to guess 3 months have gone by. There are so many books in this room and so many of them are so incredibly interesting. As someone who lived as a 'muggle' my entire life reading about magic was truly mesmerizing.

I wish I could have slipped my father a few drops of truth serum, maybe then I could have been adopted by a loving family while he rotted in a place like this, Azkaban. I feel a bit of rage emerge in my heart briefly but I quickly smother it before the darkness creeps up on me.

On the subject of dementors, I learned that those lights I see are indeed souls and the darkness in the light is the sadness and tragedy that the person has experienced in life. That's probably why Sirius had such a dark section of his soul, he had spent nearly a fourth of his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

I have learned that in Sids' time, ritual magic was considered a regular thing that would be used commonly in the wizarding world. This contradicts what I saw in Sirius's memories quite a bit, as I don't think he had ever seen a ritual performed in his entire life.

Sid's study of dementors put him miles ahead of the wizarding community in many ways, even ahead of what modern magic was. Sid had found that every wizard had a magical core, the core is what housed your soul and what made magic flow.

The core is merely a regulator and without it, a person cannot use magic, hence why he believed muggles were inferior creatures; they are just faulty wizards without cores. I mean he is right and wrong at the same time,they are different... but we are all humans in the end.

He theorized that the magical core was similar to both a muscle and an organ, it would grow in your body and once it reached sufficient size to grow a soul you could start to use magic. He believed that a soul would grow in tandem with the strength of a wizard, which was why he was so powerful, constant, and drastic use of magic would invigorate his core making it grow.

The core is an invisible membrane that forms around the soul and allows magic to flow in, out, and around the body. A soul's natural strength would often dictate how long they would take to form a core, or if they could even do it at all.

Forming my core while creating my body would prove to be the biggest hurdle through all of this, how do I form something that is invisible? I supposed this is why Sid failed and his soul burnt out. 'Maybe he was too focused on his looks?' I jest to myself.

The soul is kept in the head more specifically where your third eye would be. This is probably why Legilimency and Occlumency go through the "mind", little did everyone know they were actually using a form of soul magic all this time.

Once I create my body I will be able to change my age at will but once I create my features such as build height and facial features. Since I want to spend as much time as possible creating my core I will use my body and face from when I was alive.

When I was 16 I was 5'11" with a sharp jawline, blond hair, and green eyes. So I can assume what my older self will look like and already know how my younger self looks. Perhaps the magic will do the work for me, I can only hope.

*Another another month... or so? later*

I have finished preparations to create my body I suppose now is better than any, especially since I need to hurry up and get back to England. My plans may take a while, and I'm not sure on the details.

'Who needs details when you're immortal, eh?'

I grab one of the mandrakes from the pots and as I pick it up It begins to scream... It is easily the most annoying sound I have heard in my life... or death. As I stare at it I notice that its soul is absolutely tiny... I guess you wouldn't expect anything more from a plant. Unlike human souls it isn't bright or dark it's more like transparent, that if I wasn't looking for it I would never find it.

'No wonder dementors don't eat anything other than humans. Humans are like walking light houses compared to these things.'

I quickly tear it from its body and into mine, the feasting process is way faster on a mandrake than human, it's like there is no resistance to my yanking on its soul. As I eat it I can feel my body shifting, I would imagine this would hurt greatly if I could actually feel anything that is.

I'm sure my current body looks like a mash of grey flesh slowly forming into the shape of a human. Just as Sid instructed so kindly, I first form my nervous system, then bones, then veins, the organs, then muscles, and finally little pockets of fat where the body needs.

After the all the other inside things are created I create my 'brain' the only thing that is far to complex for me to make myself. I use my imagination and let magic take the reins and just as magic does the brain is made as I would expect.

As I'm molding my outward form a thought comes to mind, and the lush blond hair forming on my head fades darker eventually becoming black. I have succeeded in making my body like it was when I died... I may have given myself abs, what can you expect? I always wanted them, but if my father ever found out I was working out death may have been a better option.

As I start to mold my core I followed what Sid had written down to do to the letter. I use magical power from the souls I've eaten to weave a net around my soul, I repeated this process hundreds of times until I have formed a solidish ball around my soul.

As I feel my body start to solidify I make sure everything is correct, as far as I see I've done everything correctly, the only small issue is my skin is paler than intended. Those months spent studying anatomy and practical soul magic really paid off.

My body aches, but at least I can feel that means I properly made the nerves. I wonder If I need to eat or drink... or use the bathroom, I guess I'll find out if I get hungry. I walk over and lay down on the cot, my tired body seems to sink into the well-made quilt.

'The things you take for granted when you can always feel'

The months... year? of being an unfeeling creature has given me a new appreciation for the softer things in life. As I lay there I close my eyes and for the first time in my new life, I fall asleep.

....

That night... day? I dreamed through Sirius's memories, I was Sirius watching James Potter and Severus Snape duel for the 3rd time that week.

They both drew their wands and cast as fast as they could.

"Stupefy!" Snape yelled with a wave of magical energy that quickly flew from his wand.

"Protego! Expelliarmus!" James yelled chaining two spells together, a semi-transparent barrier formed in front of him blocking Snape's spell and almost simultaneously sending Snape's wand flying.

"The win goes to James." I(Sirius) say

"Hah, good fight, 16 wins to 9 wins, you won't catch up like that Mr. Prince," James says with a smug smile.

Snape merely scoffs while picking up his wand and abruptly leaves.

James and I smile at his parting figure. "What a moody kid" I mumble to James.

"We are the same age." he laughs

The world slow fades as my vision of the memory dims.

....

I wake up feeling refreshed like I hadn't slept in years, man it feels nice to have a real body. After I get up I immediately start to train to see what I can and can't do.

*Another month passes*

I have learned many things through trial and error, like for instance the powers I retain while in my human form, which to be honest are freaking awesome. I have come to learn that knowing spells and being able to cast spells are very different. I know I'm new but it honestly feels hopeless.

I keep my shroud of fog which should be pretty strong and I can call on it at will.

Wandless and broomless flight, I can surround myself in my fog and carry myself in it. Though I would rather just shift back into Dementor form since I don't have to fear falling while I'm a Dementor.

I can't see souls with my naked eye however If I close my eyes and concentrate I can "see" all the souls around me as I would in dementor form.

Another use for my cloak is that I can shroud myself in it and I can step through solid objects, I suppose I could use to hide as well but why would I need that?

Over the course of this month, I haven't felt the need to eat or drink once, but I did steal food from the guard's area a few times, tastes like shit. I have learned a few spells and I'm particularly talented in apparating, maybe it's my lack of fear, but it feels freeing. I have also learned my weakness as well... Transfiguration, my imagination is awful, I got lucky making my body, that's for sure.

My magical core is about as mature as someone in their mid-40s with decent talent, so I'm much stronger than a student of Hogwarts but not that close to a professor yet. I guess that my core is maturing at a similar speed to a very talented student but since I had a higher starting point I've gotten quite ahead of myself.

'Alright, I think it's time...'

I step in front of the mirror, I stole it from the guards a few weeks ago. I look at my handsome appearance and slowly manipulate it. I grow younger and younger in both build and face until I finally appear to be around 10 or 11 years old.

I pull out the wand I took from Sid's desk and apparate the furthest I've ever gone. The place of some of Sirius's worst memories, the hidden Black manor.