Good Food and a Refuge

The rest of the week went by normally. Rowan continued to hang out with me at lunch. She seemed to enjoy the quieter atmosphere that she gets when we are together. Not that I don’t understand that. I prefer the quiet to the noise of the rest of our peers.

Our documentary had been presented first. Our teacher said it was because we had handed it in first, so that was fair. By the end of Friday, we had gotten through five of the seven different groups' documentaries. That left the last two to be done on Monday. He said we’d do the Socratic circles on that Thursday and Friday, and again he would be the one to choose who would go in what order. Which was probably better than us choosing for ourselves. No one had any reason to argue about the order this way.

I also worked my three shifts at Barney’s normally. Nothing strange happened. Even the weird rumors that had been going around about my family since my mother’s disappearance had kind of come to a stop. Or at least, there seemed to be more interesting things for people to discuss than the disappearance of someone on the fringes of society.

My father had even stopped worrying about her disappearance. Even though she was his legal wife, she was also kind of his problem.

At this point it really looked like I was the only one who seemed even remotely worried that my mother was dead, frozen somewhere that we would never be able to find her.

I hadn’t realized that I would worry so much about her disappearing until it happened. It’s been almost two months and winter was in full swing, yet she never came home. Or if she did, she never left any traces. Which I think would be difficult for her to do.

Our regulars had new stories, someone getting married to someone else without their parent’s blessing. Someone getting pregnant. A new business that is opening up in town. There were plenty of things to keep people’s minds occupied.

Finally, it was Saturday morning. I had a full eight-hour shift today at the dive, and then I would be heading over to Dana’s house. I decided to pack a pair of pj’s, some clothes, and my toiletries into a bag to bring with me to work so that I wouldn’t have to stop back here.

Before I left, I made sure that all the windows were locked and that there were no lights left on overnight. Just because I don’t pay the bills for the house doesn’t mean that I need to burden my father any more than he already was.

Or maybe I should burden him more, maybe he’d actually come home if I did.

I hadn’t seen him once since school started, and we were almost at winter break. That probably said a lot about the kind of person that my father is.

I don’t worry about it too much and lock the door behind me as I start my walk to work. It isn’t as windy, though the snow has piled up almost to my knees in some places. I’m just lucky that our town has a pretty good plowing service so that my walks aren’t as awful as they could have been.

I manage to reach Barney’s in just over half an hour, a slightly longer travel time than normal, but that is to be expected during the winter months.

“Morning Hun!” Linda calls out to me as I come in through the back. Barney’s opens at eleven on Saturdays so we haven’t opened yet. But Linda is here and just as chipper as she normally is.

“Morning Linda.” I greet her back before heading downstairs. I take off my wet snow boots and pull on my work sneakers that are left in the breakroom and then take off the rest of my outdoor wear and pull on my work apron. Then I go back upstairs to see that Tom and Eddie are in the kitchen prepping for the day. Ashley is already out in the dining room and Linda is wandering around the storeroom to make sure we have everything that we need and to order what we don’t have enough of.

I make my way to the front and hope to help Ashley out with getting the dining room set up and some coffee brewed. The day goes by mostly normally, not a lot of differences in a popular town dive and their customer base. That at least is good, it's very static.

Then at about seven in the evening Dana comes plowing through. Eddie gets jumped on by his cousin in greeting, and Linda and Bryan both receive a big hug, before she comes out the front to find me behind the counter, filling up glasses for those at the bar.

“Can I get another soda?” I hear someone call and I nod before heading over and that’s when I am wrapped in a giant hug from behind. I squeak in surprise before whipping around and seeing Dana.

“Ellie!” She says excitedly as she hugs me again, from the front this time. Her wild mass of brown curls tickling my forehead.

“Hi,” I pat her back awkwardly, not sure what I’m supposed to do with my hands. She doesn’t seem to mind as she places her hands on my shoulders and holds me an arm’s length away.

“Let me look at you,” She crows, like a grandmother that hasn’t seen her grandchildren in a long time. “How are you? How have you been? I heard the news as soon as I got back, are you okay?” She starts bombarding me with questions. And then Linda comes and puts her hand on her niece’s shoulder.

“Hun, let her finish her shift. It’s only 20 minutes. Then you guys can talk.” Then she steers Dana back into the back, and probably downstairs to wait for me to finish, thankfully.

I get back to working and before I know it, my shift is over. I rush to clock out and run downstairs to see Dana again, who is talking to her aunt and uncle, her back facing me.

I pounce on her and give her a big hug. “I missed you,” I whisper, not realizing how true these words were until I finally saw my friend again.

I hear her laughing at me as she pats my head a few times.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it could be worse.” I frown and then look back up at her face. “Give me a minute to grab my stuff.” And then I rush to throw my shoes and apron onto my cubby and grab my stuff. I stuff my feet into my boots and don’t even bother zipping up my coat before I grab my sleepover bag and go back to the main room of the break room.

Dana leads me out to her car after saying goodbye to her aunt and uncle. We get into the normal silver-colored car, and we pull out of the lot.

The drive is quiet, quieter than normal considering Dana is a little bit of a chatterbox, but I’m content to just sit in the silence. Dana keeps looking at me though, concern coloring her eyes as she does.

But I know better. Her parents will probably want to hear about everything just as much as Dana does, and I would rather divulge the story only once instead of multiple times. And Dana seems to know that since she also doesn’t say a word about it. Of course, she doesn’t say a word about anything else either.

When we pull into her house driveway I see the curtains flutter, as if someone is waiting for us to come. I’m guessing that it was her mother hoping that we wouldn’t take too long out during the dark and snowy night. Not that it’s that dangerous out when there is a safe car wrapped around you.

We get out of the car in silence as well and we get to the door just as it is opened. Tanya is standing in the doorway and as soon as she sees me, she pulls me into a giant hug.

“Oh, sweetheart.” She hugs me for a long and drawn-out moment before releasing me. Looking me up and down.

“Let the girls in Tanya,” I hear Charles call from behind and she huffs.

“I will, I will.”

Then she moves aside and lets us get into the door and out of the cold. We take off our outerwear and then Charles is there, giving me another hug.

“How have you been?” He asks me and then Tanya chuffs his hand away.

“To the dinner table, food and talking can happen at the same time.” She urges us all to the table and I smile. I like this atmosphere, a normal and loving family. Dana’s older brother and sister also regularly came home to see their parents and sister, unlike my own older brother.

I also feel guilty whenever I come here because I am always jealous of my friend and her family. For her family. How loving and put together they all are, and how there aren't hints of underlying darkness.

The table is set with several fancy-looking dishes, and Tanya’s homemade potato salad, which is a staple in this house. We all sit down and start serving. Once all of our plates are full the three of them finally all turn to look at me. So, I smile.

“It’s not that bad, my mother is missing, and my father hasn’t been home in months but that’s fairly normal.” I begin and Tanya shakes her head.

“Tell us everything, Ellie.”

And I do. I tell them everything. From my father barely making an appearance for my first week of school and then disappearing. My mother’s partying nearly every night until she up and disappeared for almost two months now.

I even mention the Meier family, mostly the triplets, and tell them about school and what’s been happening there.

Most of dinner is not spent eating but talking.

I’m grateful for Dana and her family. They are very understanding people and they make me feel a sense of security, even in the anxiety and the incongruity I feel when I’m with them. It’s weird to me, to see this happy family and think that this is what a normal family looks like. It’s not like my family has been this way all my life, it’s only really been for the last few years, yet I still feel as if it’s been a lifetime.

I also ask them about their trip abroad. They went on a very long cruise after their already long vacation in Italy.

It’s interesting to hear the stories of foreign places that I’ve never been to, that I may never get to see. Dana pulls out her phone and starts showing me photos, and they all tell me interesting stories about things that they saw, or heard, or did.

As the clock rolls later and later, I see Dana drooping in her chair. Her eyes flutter as if she is trying to keep herself awake to talk some more. I hide a smile as I turn to Tanya and Charles.

“We should probably get to bed,” I say, putting a note of finality onto our sharing session. They both look at their daughter in unison and nod their heads.

“That is probably for the best, tomorrow is another day.” Tanya pats Dana and my head’s as she stands up and starts moving dishes into the kitchen. Charles swiftly stops me from helping Tanya.

“I’ll help her, you and Dana can go upstairs.”

I just nod in agreement and grab Dana’s hand, dragging her up the spiraling staircase to her enormous bedroom on the second floor.

Dana’s room was reminiscent of a library, with wall-to-wall shelves filled with books and art, mostly photographs. On a little raised platform near the back of her room was the door to her ensuite bathroom and her closet, and her giant bed. She even had a gauzy canopy on the bed frame.

When I once asked her why she wanted a canopy, it seemed impractical to me, she responded that it helped block everything out and made her bed her own little world. Especially with all the books and art all over her room. A clean slate.

Dana was luckily awake enough to get herself ready for bed, and then she crawls right under her covers and curls up into a sleeping position. A soft snore coming from her mouth before long.

I stare around, wide awake. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight, I feel too keyed up and ready to go. So, I start to walk around the shelves. I wonder idly whether I’ve read even half of the books Dana has in her room. I doubt it, I doubt that she herself has read every single one of them. But I wouldn’t bet against it either.

I find myself a few shorter novellas and plop myself down into the comfortable lounge chair, settling in for the night.