No chaser with a handful of pills

When you aren't fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives. It's a quote by Lauren Eden. It's my favorite quote, and it's how I've lived my life for a long time. Despite all the turmoil, the sludge I've had to wade through in this lifetime –I find the positive. In the most painful, heartbreaking, soul taking moments find the positive. Any fucking scrap of it that you can, hold onto it and don't let go. I don't think it's exactly what Ms. Eden meant by that quote but that's just how I interrupt it. That's it, you just find things to fit your narrative and you find things that make you feel good, that's life.

Y/n's late-night thoughts usually consisted of mental bombardments like this. More so since the night at Bonten's because despite what Senju said, she had found someone who sparked interest and excitement in her. It's been weeks, she didn't even know if she would ever see him again, so it was back to reality. Wake up, go to school, hangout with Senju and Nami, homework, make sure mom eats, make sure mom is on her stomach so she doesn't choke on her own vomit, drink the rest of mom's wine bottle she didn't finish, go to bed, repeat. And enjoy every minute of it because you never know when it will be your last minute. In a spark everything you know could cease to exist.

Senju sat across from her older brother in their family home's tiny kitchen mortified. "Akashi, if she was going to say something to anyone she would've already. She doesn't need to meet with Bonten to prove that!"

"Senju, my hands are tied here. It's Mikey's orders. She has to do this meeting, there is no choice here."

"If she's around Bonten, she's around Haruchiyo. Takeomi there is no stopping them if they reconnect. I won't be able to protect her!"

"You won't be able to protect her if Mikey decides she's untrustworthy because she didn't talk to us. I'm sorry Senju but this needs to happen. You tell her or I will."

"I'll tell her, I'll tell her." After Akashi left, Senju broke down in tears.

There's no winning. She'll end up hurt either way. Oh Y/n of all the guys in the fucking world. I have to trust them. I have to trust Y/n's decision and I need to trust that Haruchiyo can change.

A week later Y/n was sitting with all the executives and their boss at the large table in Bonten's dining room. When they had arrived at the home Senju had told Y/n to sit at the table and then left. Five long excruciating minutes passed and then from the kitchen the men filled into the room and into their seats. Haruchiyo won't even look at me. She noted to herself and then set her focus on Mikey. He let out a big cheesy smile, "Y/n we can trust you right?"

"Yeah Mikey of course you can."

"Alright that's all I needed to know," He clapped his hands together and got up. His bubbly mood flipped off like a light switch, "because if we can't trust you, we need to kill you." His dark eyes had somehow gone even blacker, and just as quickly the switch flipped again, "So you wanna hangout here for a bit? You and Senju both can, you're more than welcome to be here whenever you want!" He's even more bipolar than Sanzu, holy shit.

She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, "Senju and I have a project to work on. I think we're going to head back to her house. Thank you for the invitation though." Mikey smiled big one more time and then left the room. The other executives followed suit, except for Sanzu who stayed at the table.

Neither of them said anything. Well this is awkward, Y/n needed to get out of there before the tension made her pop. "Well yeah it was nice seeing you and I'm just going to go find Senju and get on outta here." She was standing up and slowly walking away from the table. Sanzu stood up too but much faster and stepped towards her. Wrapping his arm around her waist and pushing her up against the table. Their foreheads and chests touching, "I really thought that I wasn't going to see you again." He whispered to her, low and needy. "You gotta give me your number, you can't disappear like that again." They locked eyes and locked lips. Where their first few kisses were sweet and soft, these were hungry. He pulled her up onto the dining room table not once breaking the kiss. He positioned himself in between her legs. His hand found the back of her head to deepen it, licking the bottom of her lip, asking permission to enter.

A loud cough from behind his back broke them apart.

"Like you said Y/n we got a project to do," Senju couldn't help but smirk. She had accepted what her brother and best friend clearly wanted and catching them in the act was just one of those little sister perks to inflict embarrassment. "Say goodbye and let's go. Akashi's going to drive us back."

Y/n wiped her mouth and made eye contact with Sanzu. Is he blushing? He scratched the back of his neck and laughed. "So um about getting your number?" he pulled out his phone from his back pocket.

She didn't even get her seatbelt on when her phone buzzed.

Unknown number: let's go on a date.

Y/n: who's this?

Who's THIS?! How many guys is she expecting a date request from?! I mean who else would it be??

Y/n: I'm assuming the look on your face is priceless. Yes I'll go on a date with you Haruchiyo ♥

Haru: I take it back. Take yourself out.

Haru: I'll pick you up tonight. Send me your address & be ready at 8.

TONIGHT?! I need to start getting ready as soon as I get home! TONIGHT?!

Nervous energy parading through him. His hands had a slight tremble in his hands when he was buttoning his shirt. Dress pants, button up with a suit vest. He had a five-minute debate on whether he should wear a tie or his chain. First date, tie? Or maybe she'll think the chain is nicer? He picked the tie but put on a watch he had purchased the first time Bonten had a big pay out. He tied his hair back, trying to tame the pieces that fell in his face. He gave up on that. He checked to make sure he had his wallet and moved onto the final step. Popping one of the 10 mg Xanax to calm himself before hopping in his Nissan and heading to Y/n.

Adults go on fancy dates right? We're young but I mean technically adults. So dinner and a movie? I should've made a reservation somewhere, fuck.

He second guessed himself the entire ride. He parked, triple checked that he had the right address and got out of the car. He walked up to the little house and rang the doorbell. This house is so dark, is anyone even home? It looks like someone's watching tv. The door opened and it wasn't Y/n. Her mom? The woman looked him up and down, faking seriousness. She stumbled on herself a bit, laughing. "Yep, I can see why my daughter was so eager to get ready tonight. You're," she hiccuped, "you're a handsome handsome handsome kid." Well she's definitely shit faced. Movement behind the woman got his focus and he saw Y/n. "Mom, leave him alone please. You'll scare him away." The woman wrapped her arm around her daughter and pointed at Haruchiyo, "Now you behave yourself, and take care of her alright?"

"Yes ma'm, what time do you want me to have her home?"

"Home? Oh no honey if she wants to spend the night with you that's fine with me." Y/n had started pushing her mother back in the direction of the living room, "Just make sure you use a rubber!"

Y/n was quick to step outside and slam the front door behind her. "I am so sorry about that. She has no filter." Haruchiyo could only laugh, "Yeah well I see where you get it from." She slapped his arm and then paused. "Wow Haruchiyo you look so good. What kind of date are we going on? Should I go change?"

"Change? No, no you look beautiful doll. I was thinking dinner and a movie but it's whatever you want to do."

"Well you're all dressed up and I.."

"Whatever you want."

"They just opened a new video rental store downtown, like one of those big franchise ones. I," she looked back at her tiny home, "I've never really been out to a fancy restaurant or anything like that before."

"So we order a bunch of take out and we get some dvds to watch."

He opened the car door for her, "That's really okay with you Haruchiyo."

"Yes now get your ass in the car, let's go."

Haruchiyo and Y/n grabbed take out from each of their favorite restaurants. That way they could each try one another's favorite meal. They picked out a plethora of snacks and candy. And found themselves in the horror section of the movie rental store. They both scanned the covers, waiting for something eye catching.

"What about the newest Scream movie?" Haruchiyo gave Y/n a look that could only say 'you've got to be kidding me'.

"Alright then how about Final Destination?"

"What about The Human Centipede?" Sanzu picked up the cover and gave her a sly mischievous look. "Ew no fucking way Haru! We're going to be eating!"

Haru? She called me Haru. Wow, that just sounds so right coming from her.

They settled on Grave Encounters, a POV film about a haunted asylum.

#2: I need the living room tonight. Date night. No interruptions.

Sanzu sent a text to the other members of Bonten before starting up his car again and driving them back to his house.

The biggest jump scare of the movie got the Sanzu Haruchiyo to leap out of his skin. He threw the pillow next to him at the television and let out a "FUCK!" Even though Y/n had been jumping and yelling throughout the movie as well she couldn't help herself. "HAHAHAHAHA, you pussy! Hahahahahaha!"

"Fuck that! Seriously, I'd just shoot em."

"You can't shoot ghosts dumbass."

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't try too." He looked towards her with a cheeky grin.

A thought flashed through Y/n's mind, "Haru," he nodded mouth full of food, "will you teach me how to shoot a gun?" He coughed, smacking his chest. When the fit passed, his excitement couldn't be contained.

"Get your shoes on now!" he jumped up shutting off the tv and pulling her arm. "We're not going to finish the movie?"

"We'll finish it when we get back, let's go."

Just like that they were back in the car, headed somewhere only Sanzu knew, Y/n just along for the ride.