Chapter 15 - Nate

My head pounded as I sat staring at the endless papers on my desk. I've had very little sleep these past few days, even more so than normal. Marking the kid's assignments and tests used to help relax me. 

However, now they just dragged on and on as if they had no end. All I wanted to do was go home, crawl under the covers and try not to cry myself to sleep. I've cried so much recently that nothing comes out anymore.

When I finally had enough, I locked all the papers in the bottom drawer and went home. Mia tried to stop me but I shook my head at her and continued towards my car. My phone rang and for a split second, my heart raced, hoping it was Gabriel. 

However, my heart sank when I saw the caller ID. It was the hospice my father was at. Mia walked up behind me as I answered the call. 

"Yes?" 

"It's Dr Morris, I'm afraid your father has taken a turn for the worse. We need you to come in," he told me. 

"Fine, I'll be there soon."

Mia scowled at me but I stopped her from complaining by getting into the car and driving off. I knew what she would say but without Gabriel, there was no point to anything anymore. Might as well let the old man finish me off. 

---

The end-of-life care facility was an hour's drive away so I used the drive to steel my emotions. If he noticed anything it would just give him more ammunition. 

When I eventually arrived, the doctor who had called me was waiting. He looked grim when I walked up. 

"He caught an infection and it has taken a lot out of him. He may look more different than you remember," he told me as we walked towards my father's room. 

"I doubt that," I muttered under my breath but I think the doctor heard me. 

However, he made no mention of it as he walked into my father's room. Father didn't look any different from the last time I was here. The only real change was the sunken cheeks and paler skin. 

"Mr Lee! Mr Lee! Your son is here to see you," the doctor called out. 

"What! That useless piece of shit fairy is here? Why? I thought he'd be too busy getting his ass fucked by any man that walks by!" 

The doctor looked horrified and apologetic as he turned to me but I waved him off. 

"Don't worry, this is nothing. That is pretty tame for him," I told him. 

"The illness has changed him," he reassured me. 

"It really hasn't," I told him before moving forward. 

The doctor left us alone and I came to sit on the chair beside his bed. My father's cold gaze watched me like a hawk as if he was looking for something to start on. His body seemed weaker but his eyes were still fierce.

"Hello Father," I said softly. 

"Fuck you!" he shouted, swiping out at me and catching the side of my face. 

Luckily, his strength had weakened so it didn't have its usual sting, though it still hurt. I refused to touch my cheek, that was like showing a red rag to a bull. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked. 

"Like you give a shit! This is the first time I have seen you in years and you have the balls to ask how I'm feeling! ... I guess that's the point, isn't it ... you don't have any balls, do you? If you did you wouldn't be a gay faggot!" 

"I came to see you a few months ago," I told him with a sigh.

"No, you didn't! You little fucker! You were too busy sucking dick to remember your poor father on his deathbed!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

I jumped at the sound of the voice I'd sorely missed. My father and I turned towards the door to see a very pissed-off Gabe standing at the entrance. I moved towards him and my father growled at me. 

"Who the fuck is this? Why the fuck is he here?" 

Gabe walked into the room and straight for me. My father was completely ignored for the first time in his life. Gabe only had eyes for me and mine locked onto his. When he finally reached me his eyes flickered to my cheek. His hand came to gently stroke the red mark. 

"Oh I see, you're a faggot too! Are you the one sticking it up his ass this week or does he stick it up yours?" 

My father's harsh words brought me out of the trance Gabe's face had caused. Gabriel and I turned to him. 

"You shut the fuck up you stupid old man," Gabe shouted taking a menacing step forward but I held him back. 

The doctor and nurses came in after hearing the commotion but I told them to be quiet. 

"You have no right to even breathe the same air as your son. Not after everything you've done to him. You're the coward, you're the worthless one. You've beaten and abused him for years and yet he still shows up for you. Only a pathetic man would hurt someone younger and smaller than him."

The doctor and nurses looked at me in shock but I kept my head down. I didn't want to see their obvious pity. 

"Nate is strong, kind and the bravest man I know and he is all that despite what you did to him. You made him think that he was lower than dirt but you know what, you dick!" He stepped closer and fisted my father's clothes. "The one that beats his child is the one lower than dirt."

Gabe pushed my father back onto his bed and then took my hand. 

"I don't care what happens to this shit, but don't call his son anymore. He's suffered enough under the hands of that man for years. Every time you pull him back here he suffers again," he told the doctor before pulling me out of the room and out of the facility. 

"Did you drive here?" he asked me. 

I nodded, unable to speak or look at him properly now that we were alone.

"I did too. Do you have a class tomorrow?" 

Again, I nodded and he sighed. 

"Ok, Nate. We drive back in our cars and you either meet me at my place or I meet you at yours," he asked me, taking hold of my hands. 

The feel of his hands in mine felt like heaven. However, I forced my heart to stay calm. My hopes were starting to climb but I didn't want to get hurt again.

"Nate please, I know I've hurt you but I'm hoping you'll give me the chance to explain everything and make it right."

I sighed unsure if I had enough energy for that but this was the first time I had seen him in weeks. I didn't want to risk him disappearing again. 

"I do want to talk to you Gabe, to find out why you broke up with me but it's late. It will be even later by the time we get back. How about we meet tomorrow after I finish work, I can come to the club," I suggested.

I suggested the club because it meant there would be people around. Being alone with Gabe was very tempting but we needed to talk. With our beds so close by at home, the temptation to strip him bare would be harder to resist. 

Gabe wasn't thrilled by that suggestion but he agreed nonetheless. He walked me to my car and I could see that he wanted to kiss me but instead, he took my hand and kissed it. 

I could see him in the rearview mirror as he waited until I pulled out of the car park before going to his car. Throughout the drive home, my mind reeled. I was questioning whether or not he'd shown up or if I had imagined it because I was exhausted from missing him. 

However, when I got inside, the text on my phone helped me figure out what was real. 

'Nate, please don't shut me out. I know I don't deserve to ask that of you but I promise I won't do it again not even if you want me to,'

I smiled weakly, and put my phone away. I was close to calling him to come over but that wouldn't be a good idea. 

Instead, I had a quick shower and then headed straight to bed. Maybe tonight I wouldn't need to cry myself to sleep. 

---

The end of school was fast approaching and my nerves were slowly kicking into overdrive. I could barely focus during the teacher-student meetings. When the final one was done I made quick work of collecting all my belongings and hot-footed it to my car. 

I went home to change first and then headed to the club. It was around half-seven by the time I walked in through the front door. Once again, several people complained about me being let in ahead of them, but the bouncer ignored them and I didn't care. 

Millie was at the bar when I approached and she smiled warmly at me. 

"Hey hun, Gabe's upstairs in the VIP area. Oh, and Nate …" she called out, stopping me from leaving. "Thanks for bringing our boss back, we missed him." 

I smiled at her and waved goodbye as I headed upstairs. Benny was surrounded by a few angry patrons demanding to be allowed into the VIP section. They were even angrier when I was allowed to pass. I smiled when I heard Benny growl that I was family and no one was getting upstairs, if they didn't like it they could fuck off. 

Gabe was the only one in the VIP area. He must have closed the area off just for me. He smiled when he saw me walk up and stood, going in for a hug but then stopped. 

"I was starting to think you'd changed your mind," he said as he motioned for me to sit down on the seat across from him. 

He moved to the bar and came back a few minutes later with a drink for me. 

"My teacher-student meetings went on a little longer than planned and I had to go home first. I had a lot of papers and during one of the meetings, a student knocked some coffee on me. Luckily, it wasn't hot," I explained. 

I didn't want him to think that I was avoiding him. The idea of meeting him tonight was the only thing that kept me going through the day. He smiled at me and nodded. 

"I was joking," he teased and I blushed. "Well almost, I mean I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't want to see me tonight. It would be completely my fault. After all, I left you."

"Gabe!" I moved around the small table between us and gripped his hand. "I know there was a reason why you left me. Yes, it hurt but I knew you meant it when you confessed your feelings to me. I just need you to tell me what happened."

Gabe smiled sadly, tears pricked his eyes. He gripped my hands just as tightly as he took a deep breath.