RudyGasparrini

People fear death for many reasons. For some, the fear of what comes after. The fear of being forgotten. A threat to the meaningfulness of life. Being forced to stop life projects.
This was what the world feared before. Now, what we fear is what we become 
After Death.

A suspenseful story told by different characters over the years of the zombie apocalypse. The group consists of high school kids and deals with troubling events in which not everyone survives. 

TW: This story contains graphic descriptive content, strong language, and disturbing descriptive images and is intended only for mature audiences.

AFtER DEAtH

Chapter 12: I'm Sorry For Failing All of You

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It was midnight now, maybe a few hours after; I could never really tell anymore. I lay in bed, my eyes wide awake. I knew I wasn't the only one awake. The silence in the apartment was suffocating, broken only by the occasional sound of distant gunfire or the eerie moans of the dead outside. We were all haunted by our collective failures, unable to escape the weight of our mistakes.

Rudolph went to sleep for the night, finally. Aaron pulled up another couch to sleep next to him. He finally went to sleep, too. He wouldn't leave his side for anything. I felt uneasy about letting them sleep on the bottom floor, but I knew it would be fine.

As I lay in bed, my mind kept replaying the events of that fateful night. The sound of the gunshot echoed in my ears, and I couldn't shake off the feeling of responsibility. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more I could have done to protect Rudolph.

I got Connor killed; I was reckless. Addie's not here because I chose this family over the one I was born into. Reflecting on the past, I realized that my actions had consequences beyond what I initially anticipated. The guilt weighed heavily on me, but it also served as a reminder to be more cautious and considerate in the future.

I borrowed Rudi's notebook again; I knew he wouldn't mind. He wanted to share his own story, so I decided to share mine. His notebook is the only reason I know what day it is. I didn't use it very often, but Rudi's notebook has become my lifeline, providing me with a sense of structure and purpose in this chaotic world. It's a small comfort knowing that even in the midst of uncertainty, I can still hold onto a semblance of normalcy through the pages of his notebook.

"Hey Ethan," Dallen said as he hobbled inside my room with his crutches made of tree branches. Khai had made them for him. He took a seat on my bed next to me. I sat up; I couldn't look him in the eye. I know I've failed him too.

"Rudi's doing well, but how are you? You've barely said anything since it happened. If you want to talk, I'll listen. Listening is about all I'm good for now," Dallen sighed with a soft smile. I appreciated Dallen's offer to listen, but I couldn't find the words to express my emotions, and I didn't want to burden Dallen with my troubles.

"You'll heal; you're strong. Edin will take care of you. You're already doing so much better. But you are a good listener, Dallen. I'm sorry. We haven't talked much in a while. It's just that everything's been a little "much"."

"It's fine; you're only one man; you can't do everything. Besides, I prefer keeping to myself. I'm a little worn out; spending all these days with Edin is kind of exhausting, though I do wish her all the best." We both let out a laugh in agreement. We sat there for a while, our own thoughts running through our heads. I wanted to cry; this stress seemed like it would never end. I was done struggling to survive like this, both physically and mentally, and it's only been four months.

Chapter 12 (I'm Sorry For Failing All of You)