Ch. 10 Speech! Speech! Speech!

"We need to talk Michael" Rick starts a conversation. Rick is driving while Glenn is in the passenger seat and Michael is in the back.

"Yeah, but depending on what it is I don't think it's the right time"

"Fair enough. But when we get back we have to talk about you joining the group or not. Sound fair?"

"Fair"

"Well... that aside. Your parents…."

"Oh, yeah. They were busy with work since I was little. They only came home every now and then. I was home schooled along with the twins even though I tried to get them to go to a public school. But my parents wouldn't listen to a 13 year old me. We had nannies and caretakers but lived a pretty secluded life. I like to brag that I raised them almost single-handedly. But with the apocalypse scenario… sorry, back to the topic. My parents were away on business when this thing started. We stayed in a bunker behind our house for a while until we left and made our way near the farm and here we are"

"I'm sorry to hear that. You are doing a fine job with them. I can't see someone so young taking care of two babies. But they are safe now, that's what matters" Rick wasn't expecting all that, he tried to keep his mind on the road and absorb the info dump.

"Yeah, thanks. I don't even want to think how they will respond to me and Maggie"

"Let's talk about that yeah? I'm happy for the two of you. It's not everyday you see couples form in this apocalypse. I hear the women gossiping about it every now and then when things are calm"

"Wait! How long has everyone known?"

"Did you two think that people wouldn't notice? You aren't the only one that goes people watching around camp. I and Daryl do it when we aren't busy or lost in our minds"

"Darn, does Maggie know that others know? We weren't hiding it but we haven't actually said we're dating yet"

"No, I don't think Maggie knows. Do what you will with that information. Everyone is waiting for the good news from you two"

Rick started smiling and Glenn was wishing he hadn't tagged along. He's just feeling awkward. Michael was holding his bo staff and had a pistol just in case.

"Thank you"

With that said they made it to the bar and parked outside. They got out of the car and took their weapons out. Rick had his revolver while Glenn and Michael didn't have anything special. Scratch that. Glenn has a shotgun. All of a sudden Michael feels underprepared with his stick and peeshooter.

Rick led the way in. He kicked the door in and they saw Hershel just sitting at the bar drinking.

"Hershel" Rick stated

"Who's with you?"

"Michael and Glenn"

"Maggie sent them?"

"No, they volunteered. They're good like that" Rick holsters his revolver and walks over to Hershels side.

"How many have you had?"

"Not enough"

"Amen" Michael chimed in. Glenn and Rick looked at him with deadly glares. "The guy is grieving. Imagine if Lori died Rick, because I can't say I would do any better if something happened to Maggie"

Hershel looks away from his drink for the first time and looked at Michael. "I knew it was you". And Hershel went back to drinking.

"Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed and is in some….sort of state. Must be in shock. I…I think you are too" Rick leans on the bar to try and look Hershel in his eyes.

"Maggie's with her?"

"Yeah. But Beth needs you" Rick said slowly to hopefully get Hershel to understand.

"What could I do? She needs her mother. I'd rather she mourn. Like she shoulda done weeks ago. I robbed her of that" Hershel looks up to the ceiling hoping to find a sign or see something. Michael doesn't know. "I see that now" And he takes another sip from his glass.

"You thought there was a cure. You can't blame yourself for holding out hope"

"Hope" He actually sits up and looks straight at Rick. "When I first saw you Rick you were running across my field with your boy in your arms. I had little hope he would survive" Hershel goes back to his drink.

"But he did"

"He did" Hershel nods his head. "Even though we lost Otis. And you lost Shane. But Michael here made it back. And we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me that miracles do exist! Only it was a sham. A bait and switch. I was a fool Rick. And you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that" Hershel has tears in his eyes and downs the rest of the glass. Then he pours another out.

Rick walks back to the door away from Hershel.

Michael steps forward and grabs a glass from the other side of the bar. He sets it down next to Hershel. "Any recommendations for a newbie?" Michael walks behind the bar and looks at the selection of alcohol.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinkin' boy?" There is no venom in Hershels voice. Just a flat drunk tone.

"It's the apocalypse, I don't think age really matters anymore. But to answer your question, technically no. I'm 19. 20 in a few months" Michael just grabs a bottle and pours a glass full. Not just a shot.

"Y'know Maggie is 22. I didn't think she was into younger boys"

Michael takes a sip and feels it burn. "Ahhh. That stings. Both the drink and your words. I know Maggie is older than me by a little over three years. I know her birthday is a month before mine" he takes another sip. "And she isn't into younger boys, sir"

Hershel looks at him for the second time since he entered the bar.

"She doesn't like younger boys because she likes me. I may be naive or sound young and stupid when I say this. But I'm not like other guys. And I'm a man, I have to be for my brother and sister. I can't afford to be a boy, not when I was raising them and not now. Not in this apocalypse" Michael took a large gulp and almost spewed it all over the bar but kept it in.

"I may be rash, arrogant, stupid. But I do what I can. Just like how Rick does what he can. Just like you, or that's what I thought until I saw you here drinking and not being with your family when they actually need you. I'm out here having to drag you back instead of helping Maggie mourn. And it hurts, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling because I don't want to think of losing Maggie the way you lost your wife. We can take this entire bar to go. We can drink until the morning as we mourn. At least that way we will all be together" Michael stands up after downing the rest of his glass.

"Rick is good with speeches. But I'd like to think I can give an okay speech every now and then. Your farm and family need you Hershel. Not tomorrow, not today, not even yesterday. They needed you weeks ago. You may have been home. But you weren't actually there. You were right here. Weren't you" Michael turns his back to Hershel and walks over to a table and sits down. "I have nightmares at night. About Otis and Shane. And now Maggie has joined them in my nightmares. I don't want to have to see you in them too...Your turn Rick" He just slumps down and puts his sunglasses on.

Rick puts a hand on Michael's shoulder for a second and then walks over to Hershel. Rick didn't know that Michael had such a weight he was carrying around.

"So you're just gonna finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death? Leave your girls alone?" Rick walks towards Hershel.

This gets Hershel to stand up. "Stop telling me how care for my family. My farm! You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing and give you shelter. And you destroyed it all!"

Rick moves closer. "The world was already in bad shape when we met"

"And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader!"

"Well I'm here now! Aren't I?!"

"Yes….yes…..yes you are…." Hershel goes back to his drinking.

"Cmon. Your girls need you now more than ever"

"I didn't want to believe you! You told me there was no cure. That these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that!…..But when Andrea shot Lou in the chest…and she just kept coming….That's when I knew what an ass I'd been! That Annette had been dead long ago! That I had been feeding her rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope! And when that little girl came out of that barn…..the look on your face…. I knew you knew it too. Right? There is no hope, and you know it now….like I do…..Don't you?"

Hershel looks at Glenn and then to Michael and back to Rick. "There is no hope…..for any of us" With that said Hershel just turns back to his drink in silence.

Michael gets up and grabs the bottle of alcohol he left on the bar. He pours another glass. He sits down a seat away from Hershel and next to Rick. He didn't say a word but just drank sips.

"You know what the truth is!? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from heart attacks, cancer, or.or…or..or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before did'ya? And now there are people back at home trying to hang on and they need us. Even if it's just to give 'em a reason to go on. Even if we don't believe it ourselves. Y'know what? This isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them" Hershel downs his glass and stands up. Michael applauds Rick for his speech in his head. It was better than his. It got results.

Right then the bar doors open. Michael turns around like the other three and sees a skinny guy and a round guy.

"Well shi-"