Knot Gone Loose

- "It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped" -

~ Tony Robbins

"She's lying," an eccentric voice whispered.

"It's not what you're thinking. She was just stressed..."

"It was never real. You were dreaming..."

Several useless voices and thoughts drifted towards the ceiling, popping in silence on contact. Liam remained curled up in a corner of his room with his knees drawn to his chest for over half an hour. Everything played over in his mind and he tried to make sense of it, pummeled by agony each time. It was pathetic to cry, useless to scream. It didn't make sense to either. The more he thought about it, however, he wondered, "How did we get here?"

"...another damn bottle under the chair! What the hell is wrong with you?" the voices boomed from downstairs.

"Gimme back my bottle Jen... It's mine anyway... Why should it be any of your business..." the voice of a slurred, intoxicated Sebastien filtered through the floorboards.

He must have crept out of his hole again, like he would ever so often. He muted the voices out of the background and buried himself further in the havoc uncoiling in his mind. His heart rocked in his throat, stifling his breathing. The memory he recollected at that moment was that one time they were attacked and a speeding bullet from nowhere zoomed in Jenna's direction, almost taking out her left eye. Thank God, luckily, none of them got hit. There was one other time when he had first seen Benjamin, the way his forehead wrinkled and his eyebrows caved about his venomous eyes. The murderous glare he gave them was poisonous, enough to set their bodies aflame and make their flesh disintegrate to ashes, leaving behind only their ivory bones. Scary was an understatement to describe him. Cruel and diabolical were adjectives that described only the pinky on his right finger. He was perhaps a creature formed and created by the devil himself.

It was crazy to just imagine the fact that his mother would express her preference for staying within the presence of a man that almost cost her her vision with one bullet rather than remain with her family and a husband who was no longer convenient. The more he thought about it, he supposed either way she took it, she wouldn't be comfortable. At least not like she used to. In the past, Sebastien was the definition of happiness. He always tried to find a way to work things out. The things he did to save people were admirable and whenever he had free time, together, he, Jenna and Liam, would sell ramen at the town square in a stall they had rented. It was always fun. Sometimes, he was so busy and Liam wouldn't see him until the weekend and other times, he would make free time to have family outings or have dates with Jenna. His mother was always content, happy and joyful in Sebastien's presence.

Now with how things were, and the mere fact that Benjamin was a man of power, a billionaire with no mercy for people he hated with a passion, a man with influence over authoritative agents even, it seemed like there was no use trying; their family was going to break apart anyway.

Turning on his side, he curled his hands into fists and felt his eyes burn as he resisted the urge to let out his frustration.

"True men don't cry..." he whimpered and croaked, biting down on his lower lip and burying his head in his arms so that he sounded muffled.

His mother was a liar... she was a user, he thought. He felt disgust begin to wrap around his curled-up body. She all along stayed in the family only for support it seemed. All those smiles were a show. She feigned contentedness while they struggled, and pretended to be proud while she watched a montage of him switching school uniforms. All this time, she had been formulating an escape. How willing she was to give up everything they ever worked for, give up the man she had loved all her life, give up the family who had her back, for a man who was a murderer... a man two times younger than her. How pathetic.

"What if she was linked to Benjamin all the time?" came a thought.

"Were they working together all this time?"

How else could she just trust a man who had the potential to kill her at the snap of his fingers? What if he had men ready to ambush them at that very moment? What if... what if... what if...

"Liar-" the tears slipped through the crack of his eyes, "...that's what they all are. A bunch of liars."

She never really loved him or his father. Otherwise she would never give up so easily. It was a shame to call her mother. A true mother would take risks and find a way, risks and ways that won't hurt her kids or her family.

"Cynical... losers... why?"

Benjamin was back. His mother was leaving. Derek was leaving. Whether they left or not, the possibility of being killed was then or never. It was a life-or-death situation. He sobbed and stared at the ceiling through his blurry vision. He had to reconsider everything.

__________________________

It was full moon that evening. The old piano coated in dust with a lane of keys like a comb missing some teeth here and there cried its usual tune. Tonight it seemed to sing of uncertainty for the future in particular. The sheer curtain danced with the crisp sharp wind. He ran a hand through his ruffled hair and petted the kitten purring softly in this lap. Even then. he could be dead at any moment. Usually, in situations like those, they'd be hurrying to get a ticket through a black market system even for one of those sketchy plane trips. But now the house was paralyzed by silence, save for the piano.

The song suddenly switched to that of a graceful lullaby, one Jenna would always play for him from time to time. Misaki rolled over and put a paw over her nose.

"I probably won't be able to keep you anymore, Miki," he murmured through a smile, "but I bet Emma would be more than glad to have you."

The lullaby continued robbing the silence until it stopped abruptly and a moment of silence prevailed before the sound of floorboards creaking entered his hearing. Footsteps subtly approached his room door. His heart began to palpitate and he pulled the kitten closer to his chest. He waited for a knock, a waft of perfume and sweat, a few pleasant words seeking for invitation but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. He slowly rose and approached the door with caution as Misaki jumped out of his embrace, sensing the sudden tense atmosphere. His long stares bored large holes in the door. Turning the doorknob, the door creaked on its hinges and he cracked it open, enough for his eyes to peer through with bated breath, ready for the charge of adrenaline. The tension in his muscles immediately left and he knew for sure that the whole situation was driving him nuts. There was no one there.