Passage of Time (2)

The long walkways from class to class became something of a calming feature that Kai adored. For one, it allowed him some crucial exercise as the classrooms were always placed so far from one to another. Kai had a theory that architects did this purposely to have scrawny and nerdy young adults like himself make the journey all by themselves. But the positives of it were endless. The doors all had to open in unison, allowing him the perfect amount of space to observe what was going on in the next room.

'A06, A07, A08. Ah! There it is, room A09.' Kai diligently observed the room number before finding the one that he was to attend.

He marched through the double doors and what greeted him was a wide interior with seats numbering in the hundreds. the amphitheatre feature of the room allowed students like himself to clearly view their professor, or at least hear them.

But Kai wasn't one that truly embodied the student mentality, which he attributes to the fact that he has come back to the past, and remembered the content of his school subject by heart. He wasn't the type that really enjoyed studying and for an ideal, lazy person, one might think that learning should really be relaxing. But for the shorter one, he figured that learning should be done with all seriousness and with the utmost accuracy.

If not for the fact that all students must maintain a minimum 80% attendance rate for their class, Kai might not even show up to class at all. He would much rather spend his time on club grounds, watching video footage of football matches, or simulating mini-football tactical battles in his head. Yet this man always shows up to his lectures, and not a single class has he ever missed. If one would check the class attendance record, Kai would firmly believe he is at the very top of the list, averaging the highest attendance.

But the man didn't sit in the front rows, where the studious kids are gathered. The man didn't sit in the middle rows, where the "cool" kids gathered. The man in question climbed up the steps and headed straight to the very back of the room. He felt comfortable sitting in a hidden corner, where he could observe everything around him. There was a warm feeling in him as he observed everything happening in the class, down to the smallest details: That girl is having another bad hair day, the boy is chewing some gum, and that student looked sleepy.

The lecture began soon, and the professor's long monotonous dialogues had a sleeping effect in it as Kai couldn't keep himself focused. Kai's thoughts drifted away from the learning materials back to the beautiful game. His thoughts drifted, his thoughts always drifted. Before long, his habits have taken over his consciousness as he began his usual fidgeting actions.

Kai opened his notebook to an empty page. 'Let's see, what formation for today? 4-3-3? 4-1-4-1? 5-2-3? Yeah, let's do a 4-1-4-1.' He grabbed his pencil and on the very top left corner he draw a series of tiny circles. For some, they might be mistaken what Kai was doing as simple doodling, but for knowledgeable football fanatics, they could see what he has drawn.

10 circles on the pitch all positioned impeccably to represent a working football tactic.

But Kai didn't stop there. He added another 10 circles next to his first drawing, but this time there were far-reaching straight arrows from some of the circles(players). Kai added dribbling, he added some life to his meaningless sketches. Some circles had straight horizontal lines that represented them running up the pitch, some circles had diagonal lines that signalled they would drift vertically.

Kai eyed the drawing, but he was nowhere near complete. He added the movement, he added the players, but now he needed the passing. He drew the formation again, the 10 circles lined up on the pitch. Kai added the dribbling. Kai copied the sketch from before, but he added something extra. He used zig-zag lines that showed how some players should pass the ball. A pass there, another pass there. Seeing his work of art, Kai felt his spirits more cognizant than before.

But Kai shook his head, it still wasn't complete. There is dribbling, there is passing, but there wasn't movement. there must be movement without the ball. He copied the sketch once more before he racked his brain for inspiration. This time, Kai used curved lines, which only extended from one player, the player that is at the very top of the formation – the striker.

Satisfaction filled him when Kai knew that the creation was now complete. The best part was that he had done all of this in his head. No, it wasn't something made on paper, it was something made in his mind. This, this is what defines his football obsession. This is what drove him in his days of procrastination and lollygagging. This is what took him to countless games, watching them for hours on end, living vicariously through the status of a coach. Kai's reading of the game has taken him to where he is right now. His ability to see a move before it happens, to predict and come up with strategies to counteract them

Kai finished his last doodle, he added an exclamation mark at the very bottom of the diagram, his signature. It was the only mark that stood out from his tableau. He examined his finished product and knew that he had done something great with the abstract from his mind. He then proceeded to fill in the remaining marks, little circles that dotted the surface of the diagram.

Looking back on his piece of football enlightenment, Kai felt something strange and surreal. He did this in his head without the aid of an iPad, without the use of a pair of eyes or a mirror, something only the most dedicated mind could do.

This is how he spent his time in these mundane lectures. This is also why he always sits in a forgotten corner of the class, never in front of the class and always writes on a piece of paper. But this wasn't the only reason. Kai looked up from his piece of enlightenment as he eyed the scene before him: a professor diligently explaining the contents of the class, students listening to the lectures apathetically.

Kai eyed a particular section of the classroom, trying to decipher the familiar back view of a specific student. He scanned from one to another, trying to identify the person who he is searching for. It wasn't long before he saw her. Her long, wavy red hair can be seen snaking over her shoulders as she was chewing on a pen, occasionally whispering to her close friends beside her. Her red blazer and white bag covered her usual green-purple shirt, and the floral pattern on the bottom of her blazer made it easy to spot her narrow hips.

Kai knew it was her, he just had to pinpoint her exact position. He watched as the redhead repeatedly moved her hand towards her bag, opening and closing it in her fist, before her arm was once again extended towards her pocket. She looked like she was checking her bag for the time being. Kai knew it was her because her mouth was ajar, her head tilted as she strained to see who the person in the back was. Kai smiled, knowing that it was her.

She was his special one. The fated one. The chosen one.

But Kai only dared to look from afar, always observing from distance. He couldn't let her get close. He couldn't afford to let her get close. He didn't want to get harmed. He mustn't let things progress down that path once more, for the sake of himself and her.

For a second a memory popped up, the warmth shared between them was unfathomable. He closed his eyes, and he thought back to that magical day. Their gaze locked on each other, and it was like nothing in the world existed but that moment. Her eyes made it difficult to avert his own. Her laughter gently brushed the soft strands of hair from his face, and the smell of her perfume washed over him.

Everything seemed so perfect that day. But then Kai opened his eyes and it was gone. The only thing that he was left with was a thousand tiny pinpricks on the back of his eyes. They hurt so much, but he didn't dare to blink for fear that the world will disappear from existence, that his world will crumble in on itself, and that she'll be the only thing in that disintegrated place that was his reality.

Kai looked up to see her, he had been working his way up to that point of blindness without realizing it. She was peering at him, her beautiful brown eyes expressing every emotion within her. It took him all the effort in the world to catch up with her gaze, for that one single second that he managed to do, Kai felt his entire being ripped in half.

Like a selfish bastard, he quickly turned his head and continued writing, his eyes fixed on his desk. He knew that she knew that he knew what he did. How he always was watching from afar. How he was feeling, and in return, she was inquisitive just the same.

She was the one. Kai had always known it. He did everything possible to prevent her from being harmed, he even sacrificed his entire happiness in the hopes that she will never have to experience the kind of pain that he went through in the past.

But it still happened. He thought that their companionship will be the cure for his broken heart. But it wasn't, and fate still managed to get in his way. Destiny was here, and it was as if the walls of his heart are being torn apart, this once perfect world, whose very existence was all built on this foundation he made so many sacrifices for. All gone. All crumbling into dust.

His love for her was there. But it mustn't rekindle

Their time is over.