Episode 22-3: Reality is a Suggestion

The front doors are busted wide open, and when I step inside and head deeper into the building, I spot a trail of strange items that were clearly reverted back into their younger state. Even worse, there are children tied up and knocked out leaning against the wall. Their clothes are too big for them, they sit in loose suits and overalls.

"Well, what do you know, it's me," Old Me says.

"There…there are children—"

"It's not permanent, they'll be adults again soon, but not before we get what we came here for first."

"What exactly is it that we came here for?"

"Information. As it turns out, there's a faster way to complete this mission without all that slow spy nonsense."

Nonsense? I love sneaking around and wearing disguises. "A faster way? I don't know exactly know what went down here, but it looks like you stormed in with a frontal assault. How did you even take on all these goons? Did they even fight back?"

He rubs his fingers together and smiles to himself. It almost looks lustful. "They tried, then after three seconds, they retreated. The details don't matter at this moment, it won't add anything to our case. Anyway, I'm glad you're here, you can help me with this next part."

"You're being awfully pushy for someone who's supposed to be me. Why the rush? Don't you want to get things right the first time?"

He walks off down a hallway without an answer. I follow, still looking around at the furniture that has turned back to raw materials or parts. In a puddle of water is a schematic for a drinking fountain. I didn't know he could revert things all the way back to the conceptualization. That's an incredibly scary thought.

There's a door blocking our path. Instead of opening it, he turns it into lumber like he did my bathroom door. Behind it is an office with an old wolf standing next to his desk. He seems apathetic, but through his eyes and his body fidgets, I can sniff out that he's just acting tough.

"Stayed put as I asked you? Good boy," Old Me says. "Now, we can get down to the questioning immediately."

The old wolf never takes his eyes off us, but he pulls out his chair from the desk and tries to sit down. He falls on the carpet, the chair has been turned into parts, screws, and cushions. He glows red under his fur as he hoists himself up.

"You've already cornered me, why humiliate me further?" he asks.

"Because of that," he says while pointing a thumb at me. I'm covering my mouth to hold in a snicker. "Okay, playtime is over. Show me who I should impersonate to get easy access to that room you guys have stashed away in the Science Center."

"I'll give you a keycard to get you in."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to do to them what I did here, and let's say I'm not feeling very confident in a fight that size. So, a name, a picture, a dossier, whatever you have that's handy will be fine by me."

The wolf keeps his stern look and refuses to say anything at all.

"Young me, rough up this toothless dog."

I wag my finger. "Beating up the elderly doesn't sit right by me. I don't even know what you're having me do all this for anyway. Keeping secrets from me is a terrible way to get me on your side."

He crosses his arms. "Ah, my morals, how I remember those fondly. Forgive me, living in my future has weakened my humanity somewhat. Are you saying you won't hurt him because he is elderly? Perhaps there's something that can be done about that." He points to the wolf. "You there, step out from your desk. I don't want to hit it by mistake."

As the wolf moves, he fixes his tie and spreads his arms wide. "Do as you will, I'm not telling you a damn thing."

Old me keeps his finger pointed at him, but readies his other hand into a snapping position. It looks like he's posing. I have to admit, that makes me a bigger fan of theatrics while interrogating. "You don't have to tell me, I can already read your life better than your wife!"

"How did you know I have a wife? I left my ring inside a drawer on my desk."

"Behold! The fur on your hand is poofy and alive, but on your left ring finger, the fur is pushed flat like it was being strangled by a band. I draw that line to the picture frame on your cabinet. A woman, human, and around fifty years old. You dog, you, have a thing for humans, huh? I'm sure your kid appreciates your open mind."

"My kid?"

I lean on the desk and enjoy the show. I don't know why old me is talking like he's in a soap opera, but it's keeping me entertained.

The wolf continues. "How did you know I have a kid!?"

"Because with children comes another life to look after and care for. That sticky note on your keyboard has a dividing transaction on it dictating that this week's paycheck is going to drop ten percent into a savings account for The University of Connecticut. You're too aged and established for college, but a child should be looking forward to it."

The wolf looks just as baffled as I do. "Okay, but what does any of that have to do with…whatever it is you want?"

"Children are stressful, I can only imagine. That rectangular shape on the front pocket of your sports coat is a pack of cigarettes if I'm not mistaken. You're a smoker, aren't you? Have been for years, by the look of your fur and teeth."

He takes the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Yeah, I smoke. Big deal."

Old Me continues, never moving an inch in the pose he picked for himself. "In the state of Connecticut, the legal smoking age is twenty-one! What could your stress possibly reach to if you weren't able to purchase those cigarettes that get you through your life?"

"What!?"

"You almost said you would have your wife buy them for you, but if I push your age below eighteen, your wife will be labeled as a sex offender, slapping a statutory rape charge on her record and ruining both her life and your marriage."

"No!"

Old me snaps his fingers, and the wolf immediately appears younger, maybe around his forties. "Take that!"

The wolf rubs his stomach. "What? My lungs feel more powerful. What's happening!?"

"I've aged you down a decade. The damage you've done to yourself has reverted. Unlike those Key members sitting outside of your office, I will make your rejuvenation permanent, unable to return to the life you've built for yourself. Check the mirror, your fur even looks shinier than before."

"Whoa!" I shout from my seat.

The wolf pulls on the fur on his head while gasping in the mirror hanging on the wall. "Agh! The distinguished look I've worked so hard for! It's gone! I look like a young buck ready for a workday! How could you!?"

"I'll keep you in your forties if you spill the beans, which you can now properly digest again. What do you say, Mr. Wolf? Do you prefer to go younger and have uncontrollable hormones again? I don't think you have the tissues for that."

The wolf checks out his butt in the mirror, his tail is poofy, and swings around with new life. "I can't do that! The very rules of the universe hang in the balance!"

I look at Old Me. "Are you gonna do it again?"

He doesn't even glance my way, he still focuses on the wolf. "Prepare for wild times, because your erectile dysfunction is about to disappear! Take this!" He snaps again, the wolf appears even younger and more handsome. Years of inactivity cause his crotch to tighten as he feels blood pumping for the first time in two decades. It's uncontrollable, and he uses both hands to cover his shame.

"No! How am I supposed to think about business when all I can think about is…–Gah!"

"Nasty," I say.

Old Me continues his onslaught. "Embarrassing, isn't it? Now you'll have sleepless nights until you satisfy your base needs all over again. Your early morning routines are over now, you may even wake up after five in the morning from a lack of sleep!"

"Not the grind! You can't mess with my grind!"

"The information! Now!"

"Please, even if I don't know what you want with it, the coalition will still behead me for giving them up." The wolf's clothing doesn't seem to fit him as well, they're slightly loose as his body fat percentage has been reduced in his younger age.

I raise my hand. "Um, he's in his thirties now, right? I'm totally cool with beating up a thirty-year-old if you want."

"One moment, young me. I'm still breaking him mentally."

The wolf faces his body towards us, hunching over and still covering his crotch. "My wife will leave me for an older man! Please, no more rejuvenation!"

Old Me raises his finger-snapping hand and points harder with his other. "By the look of how your body is regressing, it seems to me that you once were a laborer with strapping muscles and visible abs. That all went away when you found a cozy job with little effort needed, isn't that right? In one snap, we'll find out what your twenty-year-old body looks like!"

"No, not my twenties! Anything but my twenties!"

"A-ha!" Old me snaps, and the wolf reverts back to a hunky man with a cut body and fantastically healthy fur. "Pray you'll have time for a smoke when several women will be clamoring for your attention. You'll have no choice but to enjoy your youth again. Binge drinking with no hangovers, random sex, tattoos that are still bold, and generally being treated better by society are what your future holds now!"

The wolf falls down on his knees, his loose shirt now hangs down to reveal firm pecs underneath. He begs old me to show mercy. "All of my private time is gone! Everyone is going to want my attention now! I have no solitude anymore, how could this be justifiable punishment!?"

"It gets worse, Mr. Wolf. I could revert you back to twenty-three, a year that is universally known to be the worse year for all living souls! Nobody will like you, not even yourself. Or, I could revert you back down to twenty, and your smoking days will have to wait a full year!"

The wolf now starts to cry in front of us. This is starting to get awkward, I don't even know if I should still throttle him after all this. I didn't expect him to hate being young again, who knew there are people out there enjoying their winter years?

"God, no! Not twenty-three! My desk, open the top drawer. There's a red button on the top of it. Press it, it'll open the secret compartment inside the middle drawer. Just move the notebooks out of the way and lift the bottom. Please, don't make me any younger!"

With a sly smirk, Old Me drops the pose and glances at me. "Go on, see if what he says is true."

I check it out and pull out a manila folder from the compartment. It has a personal file of an important woman within the Key society. We can work with this. "This'll do, gramps. We should jet and get prepping."

Old Me points at the wolf and gets ready for another snap. "You've been spared your puberty experience. I say that is mercy enough. You may want to contact someone who knows how to forge credentials because now, none of your identifications will be accurate. Enjoy your second life."

The wolf stands up and rips his shirt off to expose his muscular body. He flexes his arms and abs, then begins to cry in the mirror while still striking poses. "My body, it's perfect again! There are so many expectations to live up to! I'm ruined!"

"Addio, Mr. Wolf," he tells him before leaving for the missing door.

"That seemed kinda harsh," I tell Old Me as I follow along clutching the folder.

"Sometimes you need to be a little more aggressive to get things rolling. You're still young, your hand hasn't been forced too often just yet. You've got trials coming your way, best to be prepared to make drastic decisions. When the time comes, the story will need a hero, and you'll be the only one there to step into the role."

I don't know what Old Me is saying I'm supposed to go through, but whatever it is, it's made me less empathetic. There are kills under my belt, sure, it's a small body count, but still there. What could be worse than killing someone?

"So what's the next step?"

He takes the folder from me and skims the details over. "Sun Xiuying. She's got high status. Think you can look like her?"

"You're overestimating my disguises. That's a human. How am I supposed to hide all this fur?"

"You've already forgotten the gadgets I've brought from my time period. Now you'll see how far technology has advanced in the coming thirty years."