Episode 22-5: Reality is a Suggestion

With or without the Animatrix, this fool is going down hard. I draw my gun, instinctively aim for the chest, and squeeze the trigger. It's not hot lead that comes speeding out, but instead a weak stream of water.

"Huh?"

He looks at me with a giddy smile. "Interesting. I didn't wish for your gun to become a toy, it just sort of happened. The relic knows to protect me even if I'm not consciously changing the rules."

"It's the relic," Old Me says, "it's changing reality to benefit the wielder. We gotta get it out of his hands or else things like that are going to keep happening."

"A breaker of reality, that's just a simple Tuesday for me," I say. I drop the toy gun and start charging up the stairs determined to spear him down and seize the relic. As soon as my foot hits the first step, something trips me and I start falling upwards. Yeah, upwards! This hurts more than falling down the stairs.

I crash into him and end my disorienting trip, but the set of hands gripping my shoulders does not feel like what I expected. My stare sets on another me; not the future me, but me right now only not me.

"Hello, handsome," it tells me with a wink and a smile.

"Am I really that narcissistic?"

His response is to push me back down the stairs, and I cradle into a ball to stop my bones from breaking. The pain never comes, and I dare to peek at why not. It's hard to tell at first, but I'm stuck in a loop of falling between two portals. My momentum keeps getting faster, but I'm going nowhere.

"Hold on, young buck, I'll get you out!" Old Me says.

From here I see The Character emerge behind Old Me. "Not while your body is turned to sand!" The same high-pitched noise that happens when Old Me tries to rejuvenate The Character erupts from them. "What!? What's happening?"

"I'm not part of your reality, so your relic has no effect. Maybe I can alter yours."

There's another loud noise, and the portals keeping me in a personal Hell vanish and send me flying towards the both of them. I crash into me, and my body explodes into several drops of water before merging back together to make a solid me.

"Are you okay," he asks.

"This is wild, even for me. Was I just a puddle of water a second ago?"

"Some sort of liquid, certainly. It didn't smell like water though. Look, there's still some of you on my shirt."

I swivel around. "Where'd he go!?"

"The relic keeps teleporting him to safety. I can't track him, but the good news is that I can reverse his breaks with my rejuvenation. It'll stop him from altering you permanently."

"Let's just hope one of his alters isn't an instant death. How are we supposed to get our hands on him if the Animatrix won't let us? Can you sneak up on something that created the concept of sneaking?"

The Character shouts from across the room, "Are you done making your plans? Whatever it is, do you really think it'll be enough?"

I point at him. "That's for the ending to know, and for us to get there!"

He taps his chin. "Interesting way of putting it. That gives me an idea." He flips the Animatrix in the air, catches it, and makes it glow a bright white. My eyes can't handle it, they shut tight, but I still only see the white.

Then something weird happens…

["I don't understand. What did you do? Why can't I hear my voice? What are these letters floating around?" I ask all these questions and they suddenly type out right in front of me.]

["Troy, is that you? I know you can't tell since we don't have voices, but it's me, the future you, in the flesh, or text."]

["What? Where is The Character? Where even are we?"]

[The Character, master of worlds, speaks to his subjects. "I've turned reality into a script. There is no dimension, only letters on a blank canvas. I rule it all now, anything I write is true with enough imagination."]

[The stupid fox asks for evidence. "Oh yeah? Prove it."]

[Troy Hearth develops a sense of smell and smells burning garbage.]

["Yack! Ugh! Where is that coming from? How can I smell it if I don't have a nose? There's not even an origin of where it starts."]

["Ha! Believe me now?" The Character decides Troy Hearth should be infested with fleas and itch like crazy.]

[Troy Hearth scratches furiously at his fur.]

["Don't worry," Future Troy assures, "I'm sure there's a way out of this one too."]

[The Character has found out who the older fox is. "Your tag says Future Troy when you speak. Time travel, I see now why the relic is ignoring you. It doesn't matter, in script form, you're forced to obey the story I type out. Perish!"]

[Future Troy suicides by over-breathing.]

[INVALID COMMAND]

["Guess I'm still untouched by your relic even in this dimension."]

["It's still a stalemate. You can't do anything to harm me, and I have all the time in the world to inflict pain on your companion." The Character gloats for he has earned it in all regards. Also, Troy Hearth is now on a six-hour bus ride and really has to pee.]

["Oh god, I really have to spend six hours with this feeling? It's horrible! Why can't I just pee on the bus? It's not like there are real consequences," the dumb fox complains. His tongue develops a blister and he bites the inside of his cheek.]

["Dammit," Future Troy says, "leave him alone. No one should have to sit through a road trip without a bathroom break. What can I do while just being words on a page? Hmm… I wonder—"]

[*Future Troy steps towards The Character*]

["Yes, it worked! I'm coming for you!"]

["Asterisks? Why didn't I think of the asterisks? Very well, it's this game we play for now!" *Future Troy is delayed by a passing train*]

[INVALID COMMAND]

["No!"]

["I want to help too," lonely agent, Troy Hearth, cries. He receives the cold shoulder from a loved one after being late to a dinner date.]

["Oh, he's so hot when he's mad, but not when it's directed at me. Hold on, gramps, I have to apologize to Clyde real quick."]

["It's not real, it's— *sigh*. Never mind, you're powerless right now. I'll get us out of here". *Approaches The Character, closing the distance*]

["You're mistaken if you think you're catching me that quickly." The Character hides behind a wall.]

[*Future Troy now wears X-Ray glasses. He sees The Character and his underwear*]

[The Character looks really good in only underwear. *Burns Future Troy with flamethrower*]

[*Wears flame-retardant suit and feels nothing. Gets within four feet of The Character*]

["Dammit! This isn't fair, I should be the only one able to state the rules!"]

[*Future Troy uses (Super Power: Rejuvenation!) on relic*]

Boom!

The state of matter exists again, my body is back and so is the world I know and tolerate. That was incredibly taxing, I can't imagine living in a world of nothing but words and text. What would you do the entire time? Use your imagination?

"Gramps? Hello? Where are you?" I call out as I stand up. My legs feel wobbly, but the feeling comes back soon enough. Old Me is sitting against the wall heaving and breathing deeply. I make my way to him and feel his forehead, he's burning up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm a little old to be having my body bend and contort to fit different dimensions. You seem fine though, you should go get The Character while he's recovering. There's no way he's in good shape after that text world."

I turn around and notice that the room with only a set of stairs isn't where we are anymore. I'm in my house. This is getting difficult to keep up with. The Character sits on my couch with a foot up on one of the arms. He's sweating too but looks much better than Old Me.

"I've got a rule about shoes on the couch," I tell him.

"And I've got a rule about being exposed in front of company."

My clothes are gone. Of course, they are. My tail swishes in front of my genitalia to cover it up, but then something odd happens. My tail pops off and slithers away under the couch, I have to use my hands to cover myself.

"Not the tail, you asshole!"

The tail rises up and crawls onto The Character's shoulder. Its fur strands become stiff and spiky, then suddenly shoots each strand of fur at my naked body. The needles hit my chest, arms, legs, throat, and face. They hurt a lot, it's like getting poked by a cactus.

"After all the brushing I did, you're going to betray me like this!?" I whine. A snap can be heard and the pain stops, my clothes come back.

"You're quite annoying," The Character tells Old Me.

"How so? Like this?" He snaps again, and my couch is turned into building parts instead of the full thing. The Character lands with a thud, hitting his head on one of the metal pieces. His body phases through the floor and later we see him passing the doorway from my hall.

"How am I supposed to catch that? He went through the floor and ended up in a different part of the house."

Old Me stands up. "I don't know, but we've got to try."

"Turn this whole house into the original layout. You know, early structures of just the support beams and stuff."

Old Me snaps, the house is open, and only just the bare schematics of what it should look like. The Character is standing in a pre-built room looking outside.

I don't have a gun, so I throw one of my shoes at him. It hits his left eye, I'm shocked the relic didn't reflect it back at me or something. Maybe it only changes reality if he understands the dangers. Since he didn't see the shoe coming, the relic had no idea he was in danger at all. Maybe we can sneak up on him.

Whistling in the wind makes me look up. A bus, a public transport bus, is heading right for me.

"No way!" I scream and cover my head. A snap happens, and all that falls on me are schematics on how to build a bus.

"Thanks."

"We can't keep doing this song and dance forever. We need something to go on, otherwise, it's just me protecting you from broken realities."

My neck sprouts gills and now I can't breathe. Old Me snaps a cloud in the sky and lets it rain on me. I breathe in the water, and the gills go away. "I know what you mean. I can't keep this up anymore. I think I have an idea. Where'd he go?"

"Actually, where did we go?"

"Huh?"

We're not in my house anymore. This is getting annoying. We're at a candy store, it's not very big here. The Character sucks on a lollipop while cradling the relic sitting on the checkout counter. He's looking at us, ready to dismiss whatever we try.

"Follow my lead," I tell Old Me. I grab a candy bar and a handful of taffy. I mix the taffy together to form a bigger blob. The Character lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head, curious to see what I'm going to do with candy. I throw the bar upwards at him, and his eyes follow it.

I throw the ball of taffy directly at his face. "Snap it!"

Old Me snaps, and the taffy becomes unprocessed and much gooier than its ready-to-eat state. It slaps him right in his face and wraps around his head. He freaks out and stands up trying to peel off the sticky substance. I run at him and jump into his chest with a flying knee. It collides with his ribcage, and I can hear a crack. We both go flying over the counter he was sitting on, and when we land, we're not in the candy store anymore.

We're at Clyde's apartment. I don't understand why he's choosing locations I'm familiar with and not himself. Maybe it's a subconscious thing. I look down at where he should be pinned under me, but there's nothing here but an inflatable sex doll with a gasping expression. I quickly jump off and kick it away. The Character is standing by Clyde's kitchen leaning on the doorway and clutching his chest.

"I break reality, and yet, you still pursue diligently. Now I understand how tenacious the Hearth blood can really be."

I high-five Old Me. "Yeah, we're a bit of a nuisance to bad guys."

"Ispio agents are difficult opponents. I wonder, in all this wide world, who can take them on in a fight…" He turns his nose up and gives us a side glance before walking backward and letting the doorway be empty. Before I can pursue again, someone else fills up the doorway by sliding into view and sprinting straight at me.

It's Clyde, and he looks vicious! His big arms almost wrap around me, but I narrowly dodge his grip. That hug would've shattered my spine. He runs into a wall, Old Me scurries away and stands by my side. When Clyde finally turns around, there's something off with his face. His mouth is twice the size it usually is, and so are his teeth. He looks like a real monster with a bite that could rip off a limb with ease.

"Be careful, with a muzzle that big, the bite pressure will be enough to turn us into a total paste," Old Me says.

"Turn him into baby Clyde again!"

"Right! Prepare to have your diapers changed again!" Old Me raises a hand to snap, but almost instantly, Clyde's giant muzzle wraps around his wrist. A loud crack can be heard, and when Clyde pulls away, Old Me's hand is completely gone.

"Agh! My hand! No way!"