38

Disclaimer/Warning: This work is not mine. Contacting the original author is impossible, but I like to think they would be okay with my posting it here for as many people to see as possible. This work is NOT complete and it will NEVER be complete. I'm sad too.

With that said, enjoy.

- - -

I should have known better; a soldier's life depends on discipline. Failure is built on allowing a break in it, which makes each subsequent break easier. Siblings keep themselves in line for the most part; but like teenagers, they will approach boundaries to make sure they are still there. A look is usually enough to make them back off. Stephanie focusing her mood swings on me would not have been a problem if I had enforced a harsher discipline on the other Siblings. Her emotional storms battered me, and the winds became stronger when I did not give her the reaction she desired. Stephanie tried not to rain on the Siblings after I insisted on politeness, but they caught the edges of the hurricanes and were dragged towards testing my patience.

Nancy was the biggest problem. She was a 'challenging' Sibling, much like Susan. The difference being that Susan kept her challenges private and sexual; Nancy preferred public and personal assaults.

Most of the Siblings pushed against me as Stephanie's control continued to fray. Melisa grew snippy; Janet gave me the cold shoulder while spending all of her free time at the house; Heather became demanding; Michael threw his 'greater' number of sexual conquests in my face; and Malia was openly insolent.

Doris Alex was an oasis of calm as the other Siblings lost their discipline. Curious one night, I asked her why she was not affected by Stephanie's siege on my stability.

"You're allowing Stephanie to misbehave because of what happened to her," Doris Alex told me. "When you decide enough is enough, your reaction will be constrained by her pain. No one else will have even that limited degree of protection if they continue on this path. I like a spanking or even a skilled application of the crop, but I prefer that it be sexual rather than punishment."

Nancy's insubordination, if it could be called that, worsened. Doctor and patient fed on my tolerance and escalated their attacks. Doris Alex looked like she wanted to speak up a couple of times when Nancy crossed the line, but withdrew after looking at me.

I sat in my living room considering the best way to handle the situation when it came to a head. Stephanie was having a bad day so Nancy was keeping her company in the house. My thinking was interrupted by the now familiar sound of something being lobbed at a wall. I wondered who kept putting breakable items in Stephanie's room. I heard her door open and slam shut.

Stephanie stormed into the living room and took a seat opposite me. Nancy walked in and sat near Stephanie. A minute later, Doris Alex entered the room and closed the doors behind her. She leaned against them watching the other women.

Doris Alex's public acknowledgement that I was her future altered her behavior with me. Melisa and Doris Alex came to an arrangement in which they split duties; each took what was best suited to their relationship with me. Melisa took charge of planning the minutiae of my life. Doris Alex was better able to deal with my dark side, and the tiny smile on her lips would have warned the women if they had paid attention.

Stephanie grumbled to herself for a few minutes, testing different subjects to see which one gained her my attention. Finally, she stumbled onto a combination that proved nearly fatal.

"Look at him," Stephanie said to Nancy. "He sits on a throne like being a part of the world's most secret boy's club makes him God!"

I turned to look at her. Her attack on my status as a Brother was something new.

"Do you have secret handshakes?" she sneered. "Bullshit phrases that only men know! I bet you make Sisters fetch for you!"

She must have felt the new level of attention from me. Her eyes were almost gleeful as she realized she had stumbled onto an effective weapon. Stephanie wanted me to hurt her; it would prove I was no better than her rapists. Doris Alex stepped forward but froze when my eyes moved to her. She bowed her head and pressed back against the door. If the women had glanced at her, they would have noticed that Doris Alex was fearful. I looked at Stephanie again, inviting her to continue digging her grave.

"Make believe men!" Stephanie said contemptuously. "Where were you when I needed you?"

I shrugged dismissively; Nancy's eyes widened and she reached forward to put a hand on Stephanie's shoulder.

"I fucked any of you on command. I prayed for the call or the knock at my door to tell me you wanted me," Stephanie said raising her voice. "Where were you when they pried my legs open and took what I thought was only yours?"

I smiled at the whispered comment from Jason. Before her attack on the Brotherhood, I had given Stephanie a wall for her emotions to beat against. There was nothing now and her frustration at the emptiness she assaulted came close to making her rabid.

"This little thing of yours, the Brotherhood, it was never about us was it?" she asked. "It was about men and those things between your legs."

She stood up and paced angrily while Jason and I watched her. Stephanie was toeing a boundary that no Brother or Sibling was allowed to violate.

"You were probably fucking one of your Sibling whores when those animals were raping me," she yelled close to the end of her rope.

"Janet, if I remember correctly," I replied. "Hours and hours of fucking, I think she was mad at Melisa. Janet always fucks best right after she gets into one of those childish spats with my First."

"FUCK YOU, ANIMAL!" she screamed. "You're just like those assholes."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I am a Brother," I said. "There isn't a single one of us that needs to beat a Sibling bloody to fuck them senseless."

She growled deep in her throat. Her body set preparing for a charge.

"Stephanie," Nancy warned softly knowing a physical attack would be met in kind.

Nancy's eyes were on my lips; I was still smiling as I followed Stephanie's pacing.

"FUCKING ANIMAL!!!" Stephanie screeched at me. "You're fucking living in a house that women like me bought for you. What have you done to deserve it? You think you're fucking special. You let your dick do most of your thinking!"

"He is more logical than I am," I said. "I can understand that since he's got one clearly defined goal. Fuck a lot!"

Stephanie was not paying attention to me. I knew and so did everyone else that the rage, frustration, and loss had totally taken over her being. Stephanie had finally lost control completely.

"You fucking think you understand," she said harshly. "Everybody thinks they understand. NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! What do you know about rape; what do any of you know about what I'm going through?"

Jason looked at her behind my shuttered eyes. The next attack was obvious to both of us.

"You're the worst, Brother," she said.

She made 'Brother' a curse word with her tone of voice.

"YOU don't understand," she said. "You parrot words as if they mean something to you. You've never felt helpless with somebody's hand on your body while your soul bled. You're a man, what can you fucking know about rape except when you do it. You're just like them. You wish you had been one of them!"

They screamed when the table disintegrated against the wall. Stephanie threw small items that she could give a satisfying amount of momentum to; I grabbed the table between us with one hand and pitched it at the wall to get it out of my way. The Siblings in the house liked glass so the table was composed of it with only a few metal bars to give it shape. Stephanie stared dumbfounded at spot the table struck when I grabbed her throat in my left hand. She panicked as I lifted her completely off the ground. The scream that tried to escape her body when I stabbed the wall next to her face with my knife was choked off by my grip on her throat. The knife penetrated two inches; any harder and the blade would have snapped.

I turned my head towards Nancy as I felt her approach. My glare paralyzed her. Doris Alex put her hand on Nancy's back to prevent her from retreating. I turned back to Stephanie as her body realized it was dying and instinctively tested the strength of my hold.

"One night, Stephanie," I snarled between clenched teeth. "How does that compare to six months? How about years? Would you have survived years?"

Her hands weakly scrabbled at my forearm. She tried to dig her nails into my skin to force me to release her.

"How many people would take your one night over their hundreds?" I continued. "You call them animals. I call mine monsters. Jason named them demons."

Then as I released her, I took a step back yanking the knife out of the wall. I held it in front of her face.

"You suffered, Stephanie," I told her. "But never forget it was one night. Would you like me to tell you how many I... Would you like me to make you thankful that you were in their den for just hours by describing to you the years that Jason lived through?"

She pressed against the wall with both of her hands on her throat. The fear that was always in her eyes focused away from her tormentors as her mind accepted that I was the new danger in her life.

"You think one taste of your blood gives you understanding," I said. "It doesn't give you shit! Welcome to the real world."

I took another step back.

"You have only two options, Stephanie," I said softly. "Live or die. You have always had that choice. The difference now is that if you choose death, I promise to make it quick and painless."

She looked away from me.

"Do me a favor," I told her. "Make sure it is your choice and not mine or of those assholes who didn't understand what the word no meant."

Stephanie ran out of the room.

"How dare you?" Nancy screamed in anger.

I closed my eyes and felt Jason back away.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Nancy asked loudly.

I smiled and turned towards her.

"I'm the one that has to kill her when you fail, Doctor," I said.

Her eyes widened in shock.

"What?" I asked rhetorically. "Did you think her rape changed anything for us? A danger to the Brotherhood will not be tolerated. You heard her; she does not differentiate between Brothers and her rapists."

"She would never..." Nancy said placatingly.

"Did any of you ever think that a reason to bring Stephanie here was to guarantee her silence?" I asked Nancy. "The rape broke her, and she knows too much about us. If you cannot help her rebuild herself into someone the Brotherhood can trust then her death is a necessity."

"You're an animal!" Nancy whispered.

"No, Doctor," I said with a smile. "I am a monster; in this case, a merciful one though. Like I told Stephanie, it will be quick and painless."

Nancy turned around and tried to walk out of the room only to have Doris Alex block her path. Nancy's back straightened painfully.

"You should have known better, Nancy," Doris Alex said. "The other Siblings have been misbehaving but you should have noticed that Susan and I were being even more submissive and obedient than usual. It's a stretch for me to be MORE submissive but this situation required it of us. I will not say David needed our support, but he certainly did not need us add to his difficulties."

"What are you talking about?" Nancy asked.

"David has given Stephanie rope because her life is on the line," Doris Alex said patiently. "The Siblings here are young. They don't know the difference between a Brother who has weakened, and one who is being purposefully lenient. You should've known better, and ensured that other Siblings did not suffer for what David felt was necessary so that Stephanie would have a chance to get through her experience."

"You didn't do anything about it either," Nancy said defending herself.

Doris Alex's smile was deadly.

"I don't think Stephanie should have been allowed to wake up," Doris Alex said. "I will never question a Brother's decision but today... today, Stephanie came close in her words, about the Brothers, to forcing me to be a disobedient slave."

Nancy took a step back from Doris Alex.

"You owe an apology to our Brother," Doris Alex said.

Nancy turned towards me.

"Forgive me, Brother," she said quietly.

Doris Alex grabbed a fistful of Nancy's hair and yanked her head back.

"Is that how a Sibling asks a Brother for forgiveness, Nancy?" Doris Alex asked harshly.

She forced the psychologist to her knees.

"I see now," Doris Alex said furiously. "You couldn't help Stephanie because you don't understand her pain."

Nancy tried to whip her head around only to have it pushed against the floor.

"David thinks that Stephanie is salvageable," Doris Alex said. "Unfortunately, you are a part of the problem. I am a good Sibling, Nancy. I feel a need to help Brothers where my meager skills can be of some aid."

Doris Alex lifted Nancy to her feet by the hair. She kept pulling up until Nancy had to stand on her toes to avoid the pain.

"Take your clothes off," Doris Alex ordered.

Nancy managed it amongst winces as different positions made her pull against Doris Alex's unyielding grip.

"Your apology sounded empty," Doris Alex said when Nancy was naked. "You will beg for forgiveness before I'm done with you."

She dragged a reluctant Nancy towards my room. She opened the doors with one hand and shoved the psychologist inside. Doris Alex turned to look at me.

"I apologize for not being as helpful as I could have been with Stephanie, Brother. My opinion clouded my actions," she whispered with her head down. "I promise to do what is needed to save her. Please join us when you are ready."

Doris Alex walked into my bedroom. A couple of seconds later, I heard leather hitting flesh and Nancy's scream confirmed that being gentle was not on Doris Alex's mind. Melisa and Michael walked into the living room curiously a few minutes later.

"Stephanie's upstairs crying," Michael said. "But she ran into my room, not hers."

I nodded thoughtfully considering Stephanie's flight choice. They jumped when Nancy screamed again.

"What's going on in there?" Michael asked.

"Doris Alex feels that Nancy needs a hard lesson in humility," I said.

"It's about time," Melisa said inching towards my bedroom doors.

I smiled at the savageness in her voice. I shook my head thinking maybe Melisa's snippiness had been aimed at forcing me to act.

"I think you're future co-crested Sibling might need a few reminders of instances that Nancy has been offensive towards me," I said offering up an excuse for her to do what she wanted.

She smiled and rushed into my bedroom.

"Get the other Siblings over here, Michael," I ordered.

"Yes, Brother," he said instantly.

"Make sure they stop to say hello to me. I'll be in my bedroom," I told him. "Then I want Stephanie given a bath. A thorough one, she fucking reeks!"

"I noticed that," Michael said scrunching his nose.

"You don't touch her, Michael," I said. "But whatever she does, do not leave the bathroom either."

He nodded and left the living room to follow my instructions.

Philosophically speaking, Nancy's problem connecting to Stephanie was a lack of knowledge. Suffering is a foreign thing to Siblings; pain is a playful pleasure, torture is sexual foreplay, and momentary sadness is cured with a quickie.

Nancy begged for forgiveness. She screamed for it, sobbed for it, and asked every Sibling that walked into the room to plead her case with me. Doris Alex and Melisa expressed all of their displeasure at even the most minor of Nancy's offenses before they let her body show mine how repentant she really was.

As hard as they tried my Siblings could not make Nancy really understand what happened to Stephanie. There were a couple of seconds though that Nancy caught a glimpse of it on her horizon. At least, Nancy left my bedroom with the understanding that monsters do not leave survivors. They vomit and shit remains but never a survivor.

If I had been a better person, I would have hoped it was enough to save Stephanie's life. Hope is a hesitation; so I discarded it long before I became a Brother. There would be no hesitation if what remained of Stephanie continued to be a danger to the Brotherhood.

It was dark when I sat in my backyard later that day. I could hear the happy laughter of Siblings coming from the pool house. They left the door open to tempt me inside, but I thought they needed a break from me after what had happened to Nancy in my bedroom.

I heard a car park in the driveway. Anna, with Leonard pushing her wheelchair, made the turn into the backyard. Leonard placed Anna's chair carefully alongside the table and looked at the pool house longingly.

"Go, child," Anna said with a laugh. "Young boys with half-naked women nearby, is there a more distracted creature on the planet?"

I smiled and shook my head. We watched Leonard enter the pool house to a very welcome shout from Michael. Leonard did not even the odds against the females but he was an ally.

"Stephanie called me this afternoon," Anna said.

I nodded after studying her for a minute.

"After telling me what happened, I felt she deserved the truth," she said quietly. "I explained that if she does not find a way to get past the rape, she would not survive it."

"Stephanie did not survive," I said. "There is no putting that kind of thing behind you either."

Anna waved my points aside dismissively.

"My granddaughter's body lives, David. She breathes," Anna said angrily. "It is enough for now. I have spilt my blood for the Brotherhood; that is enough. I hope my granddaughter does not have to die because of what some animals have done to her."

"Hope is a step towards failure," I said quietly. "People hope and forget to do."

"I cannot tell you how many Brothers I murdered," she said. "But I can give you the name of every Sibling that it was my duty to kill. I do not doubt you will fulfill your duty, but I will continue to hope until my granddaughter stops breathing, that she does not make it necessary."

I nodded.

"She apologized for what she said about Brothers," she announced. "I could tell she meant every word. At least, it is a start."

I watched Rachel walk out of the house and approach us. She spent most of the day with Stephanie and Susan. Michael told me it was her presence in the bathroom that kept Stephanie calm.

"Hello, Anna," she said sitting down.

Anna smiled and sat back.

"What did you do to Nancy?" Rachel asked me seriously.

"Nancy lacked the experience to aid in Stephanie's quest to find the person she is becoming," I said. "She might have also lacked the focus."

"You gave her both?" Rachel asked.

"There is nothing wrong with not knowing," I said only to be interrupted by Rachel.

"But you have to know that you do not know," Rachel finished. "Another David truism."

"Nancy now understands that she doesn't know what Stephanie went through and what she is going through. Somewhere today, Nancy was struck with the epiphany that deep down she never wants to know," I said.

"This will help Stephanie how?" Rachel asked patiently.

"She has someone that listens now," I pointed out.

"I listen to Stephanie," she insisted.

"No, Rachel," I said. "You feel with Stephanie. That was a cute story about a kick and off to the races, but I know why you feel with her."

"Tell David his name, Rachel," Anna urged with a smile.

Rachel shook her head hard.

"I told Stephanie there is something about what happened that you always keep to yourself," Rachel answered with tears in her eyes. "I keep his name near my heart."

I nodded and sat back.

"I'll give it to you, David," she said. "I will tell you his name if you tell me what you said to Stephanie. Something happened between you, she's crossed some kind of barrier. It took me years to do the same, tell me how you got her across."

"There are lines," I said without looking at her. "Very hard lines that no one is allowed to cross. Stephanie crossed one. She learned that bad things happen to a lot of people, but it doesn't mean the lines get moved. Not for her. Not for anybody."

"What did you tell her?" Rachel asked with an insistent voice while leaning towards me.

"That is a another kind of line, Rachel," I said. "You cannot cross that one and go back."

"Hmmm," she said and stared at me for a while.

"I'm going to take Stephanie to my Tae Kwon Do school," she said edging away. "It will help her regain a sense of control over her body. Not to mention, let her beat up on things that don't hit back as hard as you do."

"Thank you, child," Anna said leaning forward to pat Rachel's hand. "I appreciate everything you do for my granddaughter. In me, you have a patron."

Rachel nodded and walked back into the house.

"She would make you a very good Sibling, boy," Anna said looking at Rachel's back. "Too independent for my tastes but you like them strong. You're too lenient, boy. The children need a firm hand, like I keep telling you."

"I don't have a firm hand, Anna," I said with a smile.

"No, you don't," she lamented. "Do you know how horrid I think it is to make a Sibling discipline another Sibling?"

"Doris Alex's standards of Sibling behavior are much higher than mine," I said. "She's also more creative, not to mention that Melisa holds a severe grudge against anyone showing me disrespect."

"Unless it's her doing the disrespecting," Anna snorted.

I smirked and nodded agreement.

"You would be so bad for the children, David," Anna said with a sigh.

"Would be?" I asked.

"If you weren't so dangerous," she said. "They probably know it better than any Brother except me ever could. Not a single one of them will come even close to testing your anger."

"It's pointless to get angry if you're not going to kill someone, Anna," I told her.

"Do you kill everyone you get angry at?" she asked.

"So far," I replied.

"You were angry at Stephanie today," she pointed out.

"Annoyed," I corrected. "Almost extremely annoyed."

"Stephanie didn't know your history," she told me. "Even among Brothers, very few will ever know. She did not know about Jason either. She asked about him and those years you mentioned; I told her what I knew."

I nodded slowly.

The back door opened and Stephanie stepped outside. She was wrapped in a huge robe. She walked purposefully towards our table and sat down. She smelled clean.

"I'm sorry," she grumbled.

"I taught you better manners than that, Stephanie," Anna said with an edge.

Stephanie raised her green eyes to me. They were serious in their study of mine.

"I apologize for my words, Brother," she said finally. "I did not understand."

"No, you did not," I said sitting back. "Now, you do."

"What happened to you?" she asked curling her legs onto the chair.

"Rachel told you about holding something back," I said. "Something about your experience you keep for yourself."

She nodded solemnly.

"What happened during those days and nights are mine, Stephanie," I said. "Only mine."

"Can you tell me what you felt?" she asked.

"Pain," I said. "Shame. Rage. So much rage, I still have to brush it out of my teeth when I wake up in the morning."

"Was it that bad for Jason?" she asked quietly.

"I don't talk about him," I replied.

She nodded and sat quietly for a long time.

"I wanted them dead," she said. "I wanted it so badly that I wouldn't let the doctors near me until I told someone what happened. I told that Sibling everything they did to me because I knew a Brother would be sent. When I felt myself slipping away, I hoped I would not wake up. I did what was needed so that those two animals would pay, but I wanted to die."

"They're dead," I told her.

"It doesn't make it any better," she said sadly.

I nodded.

"How did they die?" she asked. "Anna only told me that you killed them."

"I would not expose the Brotherhood to danger," I told her. "They died without ever knowing they were dying."

"Do you kill that easily?" she asked staring into my eyes.

"Yes."

Stephanie nodded as if that word assured of something. She stood up and leaned down to give her grandmother a kiss on the cheek.

"If it comes to that, David," she said without looking at me. "You won't have to kill me. Tell me, and I will do it myself."

Anna and I watched her walk back into the house.

"Do you understand now, David," Anna said. "Hope springs eternal."

"We will see, Anna," I said. "We will see."