Survive

I don’t know how much Ethan knows of the past, but the recent dream shed a lot of light on things. If he does know, he should have told me, he would have, wouldn’t he? If he knows, does that make him bad? Does it change anything? Would it mean that he’s the same person as the one from the dream? Mentally, I shake my head.

Everything that I’ve seen of him and every moment that we’ve shared together shows and tells me that he isn’t the same. Is that because he’s had life after life of happiness to mold him into this new person?

Another pang of guilt hits me as I think of Shane. He’s there, always there it seems in the back of my mind. He’s had life after life, century after century alone in the darkness. Unloved and mateless.

Before I had the dream, I had wondered if things could have been different between the two of us. And now that I’ve seen our first life together, I know that it can be, which makes it so hard because it could have been. It could have been if not for…