Chapter Five.

I cried out in pain, frustration and intense agony with the thought of "if anyone would believe me or if I had anyone to talk to" I was alone in all this. Calling it hell was an understatement I only wished for a thought of peace even if It would be a while, caught in my own world of thoughts I heard the front door open she was here! his wife was home. I quickly cleaned my face, straightened my clothes and suited it up with a bright smile in order to look a bit presentable.

It was all a façade. I was a happy soul to everyone who knew me, not even a soul had heard my story, none had heard me call for help I was used to being the joy giver, the ever standing shoulder when needed to lean on, ever listening ears to complains, heart talks and to bring you comfort that was exactly my life. I've been strong for so long a victim of sexual abuse for years stuck in a situation where not saying a thing seemed normal. Even if I had told someone what could they do, nothing other than sympathy me. I've had series of people in my life but still couldn't open up it traumatized me more knowing I couldn't utter a word because that would be risky.

I went through the day with a bright award winning smile on my face, entertaining everyone and speaking in discussions, giving help where needed. I guess it served as a distraction from my inner pain and clustering emotions if only this world I see now was actually real with the genuine smile but since it wasn't I enjoyed the little time I had experiencing it allowing love to let me see a beautiful version of life but wasn't it all too much and unreal at some point? I mean if I could be hiding my pains what about the others? Were they any better at all? Could anyone be truly happy in life? Asides all our troubles was there a genuine happy life or something more to happiness or being happy?