I'm Not As Strong As I Want To Be

I'm not as strong as I want to be because I don't want there to be days when I roll out of bed and question is it even worth living I don't want to have those feelings like it would just be better for me to just walk into oncoming traffic I don't want to be in a crowded place and feel like there's a weight on my chest I don't want to see someone I know and like anxiety's wraps her hand around my throat I don't want to feel so uncomfortable that I forget how to breathe I know I'm stronger I know I'm a better me than I used to be but I'm not as strong as I want to be