A l m o s t

ALEX'S POV-

I was finally going to meet her.

I had waited so long for that day.

Brandon had talked to Maria, and finally managed to convince to let her meet me. I knew what I was going to do. I would see her, apologize to her, say I loved her and wanted her back.

If she couldn't forgive me it was okay, I could live with her rejection because the entire fault was mine and I did deserve it.

But she had to know I still loved her and I could no longer stay with Veronica.

Maria had said that Julia was finally being shifted to her apartment after staying in the hospital for so long. "I was going to see her tonight," with that thought I started my car.

It was a full moon night. I looked at the moon as the guy in front of me wrapped her favorite white roses in a bouquet.

The moon that stayed with her all this time. She should love it because it stayed with her when nobody else did. It shone in the night sky, glistening against the pale clouds.

It looked as if it might rain.

"Done," The guy handed me the bouquet. I nodded at him and he smiled, "Wish you all the best for the one you're about to propose."

"Thank you," I walked out of the shop and sat in my car.

Little did I know what was in store for me that night.

---

I rang the bell, hoping for her to come and open. Maria was not at home next door, she had gone out on a date with Brandon.

The girl didn't want to go but as I heard from Brandon - Julia was the one who insisted that she needed a break and taking some time out from her job of constantly nursing and babysitting Julia would help.

When the door finally opened, a very frustrated and white Maria opened the door.

Not again.

Brandon held her as she started crying. "Alex... Alex, she's gone."

"What?" I asked, the bouquet falling from my hands and hitting the floor.

"We don't know where she is..." Brandon replied and handed me a paper.

A suicide letter. Just the thing I needed at the moment.

I knew if she had bothered to write a letter, she was dead set on fulfilling her goal this time. My eyes brushed over the letters on the white paper, the paper that hugged her beautiful handwriting. The paper that was probably the last one to ever be touched by her.

"I'm so sorry everyone. I'm sorry for my existence. All I ever did was hurt people and push them away from me. I know you tried, Maria. And you too, Brandon. But it's me; it's me who decided this. I chose my own fate. Nobody forced me to; I just lost the will to live anymore. I don't understand why fate allowed some people to meet when there's no way for them to be together. I loved you, Alex. But you thought you weren't right for me.

That wasn't your choice to make, it was mine. I should have been the one to decide who I spend my life with and I cannot tell you how many times I prayed to God begging to be with you. But you left, you left because you thought you knew what was best for me when it was you who was best for me.

Let's say, If I were to jump with you, we would agree to jump together on three. When the countdown would end, I would jump and you would fool me by standing still watching me fall. Then you would say "I lost her" and walk away like nothing has ever happened.

That's what you did.

Isn't the whole point of love, sticking with someone even when times get tough? What's the point of telling someone you love them if you're going to leave them? What's the fucking point of love if you're just going to let it go?

I hope you lose her. I hope you feel the pain in your heart. I hope you cry at night, trying to hold yourself together. I hope that when you lose her, you will lose yourself too. I hope so because then you would finally know how it felt when I thought you and I were forever, but you left me for her.

Alex, thank you for being there when I was losing myself. Sorry I wasn't enough for you."

"You were enough," I whispered, crying silently. "I loved you, not her. I'm so sorry..."

I looked up and noticed the moon shining outside her window.

I suddenly knew where she was.

Maybe I still had a chance at saving her.

I rushed to my car and started it. Julia's car was still in the garage so she must not be entirely out of my reach now.

I drove in full speed. If there was one thing that she would like to do last is see the moon before she died. And there was no best place to see it like the cliff.

I stopped as soon as I reached the clearing and opened the door and hurried forwards until I heard her soft voice which made me halt. "Stop Alex."

The voice I was yearning to hear all this time, the word my ears were dying to hear - I finally heard from her, my name.

I looked at her. There she was standing once again in a pale white dress, almost as white as her skin. Her blue eyes holding so much agony in them that they broke my heart into a million pieces. She had tears in her eyes.

"No Julie -" I stepped forward and she stepped backwards, inching towards the edge of the cliff.

The first drops of rain fell, and I heard her voice again.

"Don't move anymore," She looked at me, her eyes searching mine for something I knew she would not find there.

It was the desperation that she wanted. The will and hope that I would save her.

But we both knew I won't. It was always just so visible what we wanted to do and say when we just looked at each other.

I knew I'd lost her the day she tried to commit suicide. I knew she was already dead from inside. She would never be the person I wanted her to be and I would never be the same as before.

We both knew this was the end of our love.

"I'm sorry it ended like this, Alex," she smiled once, her tears falling to the ground.

"I love you, Alex." She started stepping backwards.

"I -"

Her eyes closed as her body fell backwards. She fell from the cliff with her back to the ground. I wanted to scream, to run, to do anything at all but I couldn't. My body has frozen. All I could do was mutter three words which held no more meaning.

"Loved you too."