KICKED OUT AND DEPRESSED

My mum walked into the room and i could see the anger all over her face. Before I could say a word I felt a heavy landing on my face and thereafter a deep roaming noise. she slapped my face so hard that I couldn't hear a word.

my dad came in to hold her. I was shaking with tears rolling down my eyes, all I kept saying was.'Am sorry mum'. she dragged my arm and kept yelling at me screaming at the top of her voice, she was now weeping.

I felt guilt. was all this my fault or was it my friends. I will say it was my fault because I was the one who allowed him get into me. I was so stupid to have brought shame upon my self and now my family is disappointed in me.

I kept crying still trying to talk to my mum and I kept begging still recieving all the beatings.

My dad finally carried my mum out of my room. I thought all ended there until my dad walked back in.

He said alot of hurtful words and left the room too.

I had noone to talk to or console me so I carried myself to sleep.

Morning came as I went into my mum's room to talk to her but she wasn't there, then I went downstairs to see her sitting on the couch along with my dad. I immediately went on my knees to beg them for every thing I did wrong. 'I'm sorry mum I'm sorry dad I didn't mean to cause you all the shame I swear it was all a mistake', I said.

'i knew those friends of yours were bad eggs rose', my mum said looking very much angry.

' I'm sorry at least forgive me please it's all my fault, I'm sorry please please forgive me!', I begged still crying.

'Who's the father of the child ', my dad asked . This was a deep questions. How was I supposed to tell him I didn't know the father that it was all a one night stand.

'He's talking to you! who got you pregnant', my mum screamed at the top of her voice.

'Is he in your school', my dad asked again

'i don't know him I just met him once', I replied still shaking.

My mum felt so disappointed she said all the hurtful words she had in her and pushed me out of her side as she heads back up stairs. I managed to get up to my feet and following her she made way to my room, she took out all my clothes from my wardrobe and was squeezing it in my traveling box. I tried to stop her but she kept pushing me away I begged my dad to help me stop her but he refused.

She screamed at me to take all my belongings and leave the house. By then I was feeling sharp pain inside of me but I never stopped begging her. I watched her throw my things out the window and she dragged me downstairs then out of the house. I begged her even with the last strength in me to no avail.

I waited outside till it was all dark, late at night but they still didn't open the door for me. It began to rain so heavy and just then my dad came out, I thought he was going to let me in but no, he just came out to hand me a wallet and next he said was. 'Leave now before I change my mind, go far away from here and never ever come back.

They meant business but were they really going to kick their only child out.

I was stubborn enough to still stay, totally wet, hungry and stressed from all that was happening. My dad came out again and he personally dragged me out of the compound and closed the gate from the inside. I cried bitterly.

My phone wasn't with me, I had only the wallet he gave me. so I walked in the rain to Jennifer's house. She personally answered the door. She was shocked seeing me wet.

'They know I am pregnant', I told her. 'And I got kicked out'.

she opened her mouth in shock but still she refused to let me in.

'I am sorry that happened to you rose, but you can't stay here, my parents will get mad', Jennifer said.

'But I am your friend and they never complain when I come by', I said in confusion.

'Not that, they'll ask why you here and they'll know you're pregnant', she interrupted

'Am not staying for long , I'll just stay till I fix things with my parents', I explained wiping my tear .

'That's not going to happen!', she said

Why? I asked in disbelief

'They'll think am also pregnant and since we are friends they may think I also go about sleeping around', she answered. I was in shock, did she just say that to me? If we are talking about Jennifer she's more like a snake in a sheeps clothing. everyone in school knows her so much and she's not innocent like she saying.

'You didn't just say that', I replied her immediately

'Next time you use a contraceptive", Jennifer said as she shuts me out.

I could feel my tears dropping so hot on my cheeks but still I managed to walk to cythtia's house which was miles away.

Finally I got to cythtia's house, this time it was already ten at night and as she came opening the door she saw me dripping wet. she took me inside immediately and asked me what happened. I explained all to her how I got kicked out after my parents finally found out.

'I wish this never had to happen to you', she said as she rushes to get a clothe from her room. I then changed into the clothes she brought.

'Where would you go now', she asked

'I have no where', I cried 'But I can stay with you atleast till I fix things with my parent.

'I wish! but my mum would really not like that', she said.

Why was this happening to me now. I cried

'You know how she is, she may think that I am wayward', cythtia said.

'Neither am I , I screamed at her, I am not wayward and let me remind you, all this is your fault. oh! does your mum know how you drink and smoke and even go to clubs with random guys', I screamed the words at her.

'Keep your voice down! she said 'Atleast am not the one who fell in love and had a one night stand, it's your cross carry it, atleast I helped you by giving you dry clothes, if you don't mind, leave my house', cythtia said as she goes to her door and opens it ajar.

I have no where to go noone to turn to, even my so called friends insulted and left me to the world. I was facing the world alone. Going to Lola's house will be a waste of time, if Jhenny and cythtia could do that what more would Lola do.

I just realized that this fateful day was the beginning of my pain.

This was my lowest point, I didn't deserve this. I fell to the wet ground as I thought to myself. I don't deserve this.

I took the last positive mind in me to go to Lola's house, as she opened the door she took me in.

'Before you send me out, can I just have something to eat', I begged her.

she offered me food and water, she even took me to her room. I was bleeding a little

I got to clean up and she immediately suggested we went to the hospital but by this time it was midnight. She still didn't give up, we were able to get an Uber that took us to the closes hospital and I got attended to. I was just suffering from the day's stress which was a threat to the baby that was growing inside of me.

Lola showed herself to be different from others regardless and even when I feared that the school must have known about my pregnancy she promised to support me, besides we had few days left to graduate.

I resumed school still hiding my pregnancy and when Jenny and cythtia saw me they tried to make jest of me. deep down I feared they might start telling everyone that I was pregnant even though I was always covering my stomach.

As Days went by, my stomach was getting a bit obvious. I was also getting connected to my child. I was never going to hurt the child or blame him for any of this.

The school principal called out all our names and I was one of the students to get admitted into one of the top well-known universities.

I had earlier written the examinations months back and the results just came out. I finally got admitted to college. my parents had always wanted that but not anymore since I brought this upon myself.

How was i to go to college with my pregnancy?. How would I pay for all the tuition fees and everything I needed. This wasn't just about myself anymore, it no longer my life alone someone was now involved, my baby.

I quickly wiped the tears rolling down. Lola could understand and she quickly grabbed my hands. At lunch time Jennifer and cythtia tried to speak to me but I never gave them the chance to. ' hypocriates', I said as I walked out on them.

'are you not getting prepared for prom', Lola said as she forced her clothes on. what would I be doing at the prom I thought, I needed to think of my self, my body system was changing, I was constantly getting tired, hungry, sleepy and always with a bitter mouth. I was now a young pregnant woman. It was my first experience and I wasn't enjoying it. I was always feeling sore and sometimes I find my self being so emotional and cry over nothing most times.

I just needed to be alone. Lola left for prom and I was home alone. Prom was a night every teenager leaving high school was always looking forward too. mine was snatched from me. I cried at the thought of it.

What happens next, Lola was also going to leave the country for college and I'll never go to college as I can't also stay in her house any more.

I tried to reach my parent but they always drop the call at the sound of my voice. And to top it up last time I called their line, it was off. They had changed their contact. I couldn't even go back to my house because I was feeling ashame of myself.

Activities were not sounding fun or appealing to me anymore. I wasn't even eating anymore and I began loosing weight a bit and sometimes Lola would fear that i would hurt the child in me. And when I think of my situation I regret ever meeting the stranger and sometimes i get angry that I had something growing inside of me.

I don't get enough sleep anymore. I was suffering from depression and this was increasing the risk of sucide.

The feelings of hopelessness was in me and it was getting unbearable.

Once, I got so angry and sad that i harmed myself, I was looking at myself in the mirror and with anger I kept hitting the mirror with my hands bleeding. Lola heard my scream and she came to help me immediately.

I couldn't stop comparing myself with my friends and what I use to be, I was becoming something I wasn't prepared for.

I knew I had all the right in the whole wide world to feel the way I was feeling but I was also hurting someone. so I thought of seeing a therapist to get help before I hurt myself and probably might get medication to help me faster. Medication like an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor), I heard it can treat the symptoms of depression that may be caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain. I just needed help immediately.