Chapter 29

(29)

"Did I regret?"

The question I had been asking myself for the hundredth time. My thoughts amplified with each repeat until the words didn't make sense anymore.

"Did I really think of drowning myself?"

Such a person, I was, would never be able to give answers because of that kind of person I had become. The old me wouldn't even think twice about doing such deed, but I did it.

As I linger on that thought, thinking about it, really thinking about it. " Did I really put myself at the death's door deliberately?"

"An orphan"

The one thing I feared the most. The one thing I had never expected to happen. I couldn't even bear the thought of it. I was alone and my sense of reality was fading. I wasn't not sure if I was really alive.

My hands were numbed and I couldn't feel my arms moving. I couldn't feel anything, not even pain.

It felt like forever when I saw Sam and Lizzy rushing towards my direction. Sam uncuffed my leg and carried me in bridal style as if they were in rush.

I laid my head onto Sam's chest as I was exhausted. Whatever, I needed to get back to Damien because he still has my mom. I wouldn't let him destroy the very last thing I have.

There came a car on the main road. The car window opened revealing Mateo. He said to Sam, " Set her beside me,"

Sam walked around the car and set me in the front seat. Mateo leaned in again so close to me but he only secured my seatbelt. He wasn't in a good mood as he tightened my seatbelt more than necessary as I glared at him groggily and he glared.right.back.at.me.

Mateo slammed the accelerator and drove off like a crazy man.

My mind was blank and I was more like in space. I could see many cars through the back mirror, so closely.

That's why he was driving like he wanted to kill us both. I covered my ears and shut my eyes tight. It was dark, wherever I was.

I knew I wasn't awake, although I wasn't sure how I knew that. Occasionally, visions appeared, lasting anywhere from seconds to hours. I had no sense of time anymore.

The voices were ringing nonstop in my head. I didn't know what happened but I learned the car has stopped and Mateo somehow managed to made the cars lost us.

We were still in the middle of nowhere. Mateo got out of the car and pulled me out as I was sitting like a corpse. I could feel my hands again now, and yet with pain. No words were exchanged as he dragged me by my uninjured hand till he reached his destination.

He let go of my hand and disappeared into a bush. But seconds later, he walked out with a motorbike. I couldn't help but impressed with how he had managed to keep up all the plans.

I shook my head in denial. What if Damien was planning one of his sick games? What if Damien deliberately letting us off the hook? Chasing had always been his favourite game.

But Sam and Lizzy were inside the car. I didn't bother to ask him about Sam and Lizzy. I simply couldn't care about them. Yea, that was me who had become. Helplessness and ignorance were gifted to me since I lost my own rights as a human.

Mateo started putting a thick jerkin on me that was twice my size. He zipped and made sure I was comfortable. Mateo motioned me to get on the bike. I did as he told me. Of course, I didn't have a choice.

He started the engine and told me to hold on tight. We rode for hours and hours.

Finally, the destination seemed to come. Mateo stopped the bike.

Everything was new to me...The people and the scenery felt awfully unfamiliar. He had stopped at a restaurant and started pulling me towards a corner and helped me take off the heavy jerkin.

After he made sure where people couldn't see us, he put on a hat and pulled the hoodie over my head.

After he was done with dressing me, he dragged me into the restaurant and told me to order something to eat. I just ordered a burger...

"Would you tell me what is actually going on?" I mumbled while sniffing at my burger.

Mateo's gaze falls upon me and he sighed but he didn't answer! I couldn't help but I felt the back of my eyes burnt and warm tears fell continuously.

"Don't fucking cry," he said pinching the bridge of his nose. With a snort he pushed his lemon juice towards me. I took a large gulp immediately and felt much better.

"Yea, I'm so sorry for crying over my dad's death. I'm so sorry," I whispered, "It's okay don't tell me anything until I find out my whole family death by myself. It was you tell me to trust you?" I snapped, but this time with anger.

"I thought you would help me. But you're doing nothing other than hiding and running. And you don't even want to tell me what the hell is going on!" I seethed. I knew my smart mouth was winning over him. I didn't care this was the last thing I had to try.

"It's not what you think. I'm helping you, Vivan," he said slowly. It was obvious he wasn't in the mood to answer me.

"You think you're helping me? Oh, so thankful. But You're. Not. Helping. Me. At. All!!! Why you're not telling me what was happening????!!!!" I snapped at him throwing the burger at his face.

With that his fist connected with the table making me jump. Some people's attentions were on us.

"Because it might be a fucking trap. And you're stupid to fall for his tricks," Mateo snapped at me. Trap? Oh my god. Then, dad was still alive?

"Trap? You mean dad might be still alive?" I whispered him with full of hope.

"I don't know. But I already told you, he wouldn't kill them if he wants you. I need you to trust me," he said rubbing his temple.

But it didn't make any sense. Why he just couldn't tell me that earlier? "How's my mom, then?" I asked.

"She would be fine," he mumbled. What was meant by that? With that he got up as his phone rang, he mouthed, " Don't move," I could see he was talking to the waitress to give me another burger.

But anticipation was killing me from the inside. I was genuinely happy and excited at the hope that my dad was still alive. But it also pushed me into vulnerability, I was feeling so much guilt for risking my parent's lives.

Mateo went outside through the back exist holding the phone so tight to his ears. I rushed behind him not so close but enough to hear him.

"She is being moved? Where? UCLA? Okay, I got it," Mateo mumbled. UCLA? UCLA? What the hell was that? What was meant by she? Who?

I quickly sprinted to my seat and asked the waitress," Umm. Excuse me. Does UCLA mean something?"

I was doing my best to avoid looking up at her face. Spending the whole week with Sam and Lizzy was helping me a lot not to cause my traumatic phobia.

"You mean UCLA medical center?" She asked with a raised brow. Medical care? I called her once again as she turned her heels to leave.

"Umm. Where am I now?" I asked.

That caught her attention. Damn. Stupid! Stupid, Vivan! You can't make her took an interest in you.

"California," she simply said and left me.

Mateo came back with a frown and stood Infront of me saying" Come on, let's go,"

He then grabbed his coat.

I quickly slurred, " No! "

He cocked an eyebrow at my outburst "I mean, I wanna get some drinks,"

He nodded instantly placing the coat with the phone back on the table. He turned on his heel towards the counter. I quickly grabbed the phone but I found it locked.

'buzz' 'buzz' I almost choke on my spit when a call suddenly came in. I hesitantly accepted the call and... waited.

" The Martin's already in town, you need to get to Mrs.Kieran before they do," a familiar voice paused, "Hello, are you there, Mateo? "

I suddenly couldn't breathe. Everything started to fall into place. It must be her they're talking about, it must be Mom.

"Sam?"

"What? Is that you Vivan? Where's Mateo? Are you okay-"

"Sam, where's my mom? Tell me where she is. Please,"

"Vivan, calm down okay. Is Mateo still there with you? Are you alone?"

"Fuck you, Sam" I angrily pressed into the power button and watched it shut down.

I quickly put the phone back on the place and got up. I walked towards Mateo who was paying the cash. Everything felt like in a slow motion. Heavy and suffocating.

UCLA? That's why he couldn't face me to say about my mom. Thus why he kept off the subject.

I walked towards him and stood behind him. He turned around to face me with a frown. I wasn't sure what I would do but I snapped back into reality and said," I need to use the bathroom,"

His face softened as he nodded and said something to the waitress but I couldn't hear him. The waitress led me towards the back of the restaurant. I walked shakily.

Thus why he didn't say anything to me. He knew what I would do.

And he was right. I knew where my mom was. I was going to that hospital no matter what....

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"Being blamed, defined, and deprived can impact anyone`s confidence, expectations, characteristics, and aspirations."