Big fight 19

I was regretting this decision to train with him every second. The sessions were grueling as such, but added pressure from his end is making me break. I trained hard with him. He has confessed that he never trained a human before, so he has no idea. But he says if he had to pick any human to attack him, his first preference would be me because I was weak. I knew he was trying to fire me up. He wanted me to be angry. But none of my punches packed much, so he was always let out a yawn when I punch him. It was deliberate, but it hurts.

I wanted to prove myself to him to the point of desperation. It has been only a few days since the training. We mainly talk in the field. After the training session, we rarely talked. I will be dead on my feet each time. I would be sleeping as soon as I hit my bed. But Lucien never came to bed. I didn't know where he slept. He might be with Arya for all I know. I didn't care about him. If I had any false notions of killing Igor, training with lycans has changed it. I have trained like no human before, but I still hadn't managed to scratch him.

He also didn't allow me to train with Amir because apparently he is not done with training me. I haven't touched my bow and arrow in all these days. In the quest of becoming she hulk, I lost the only opportunity when I feel good about myself, my bow. I hate his attitude, at least Amir was nice about it. He never criticized my techniques. I wanted to avoid training with Lucien. I hate the way his touch lingers on me. The way he holds me a tad bit longer than necessary. The way he breathes me in while he thinks I'm not looking. Most of all, I hate him when he shouts at me after behaving he craves me.

I never thought I would miss him. But I did the first day we started a tentative friendship which was broken by a week. He ignores me other times and glowers at me if I tried to talk to Amir. None of the lycans who trained there wanted to talk to me. I suspect it was his doing. It looked as though they were afraid to talk. The boldest of them smiles at me, but no one dares to utter a word. I was so lost here, I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back to Mina and the girls. I don't care they thought us whores. I would take companionship over respect any day.

If now is I allowed to push me anymore I would break. I have no intention of letting him get upper hand. I hated him and the fact that I was a poor human entrapped among the lycans. I wished for my mom and dad.

I sat in the training ground waiting for Lucien to come. He was late, and I knew he would blame that on me somehow. "Aren't you a little late?", I asked him. "I'm late because I have things to do. Did you do the exercises I told you?", he asked. He wanted me to do weight training,, but it was too much for me. I was hungry not to mention very thin for as long as I can remember. I wanted to avoid torturing myself to try it and then have him berate me again. I was very disappointed in myself as it is.

I didn't know how much it takes to please him. But so far, none of my efforts looks sufficient. I was tired and practically dead inside. "Answer me, Mara?", he asked me again. "No", I said in a clear voice. "Why?", he asked me, his voice was calm, but I could feel his rage. "Because I no longer want to train under you", I told him. "So who's going to train you? ", he asked. "I will ask Amir", I told him, distracted. "So you want to quit? Is that it?", he asked me again. He was trying to provoke me. "No, I'm not quitting the train just you", I told him sarcastically.

"You think your clever mouth is going to save you in a battlefield "?, he asked me again. "No, my arrow will", I answered him grudgingly. "No it won't because you are lazy and a quitter. I can't imagine I spent my precious time on you ", he said angrily, all pretenses of control gone. "The feeling is mutual ", I said, flushed. "You know something Mara, why you are unable to train with me because you think you are better than I. You would rather spend time on flirting with other men than actually learning from me", he told me.

"Yes, you are right. I prefer to flirt with anyone apart from you. I never thought myself better than you. You are the one always making me feel worthless. No matter how hard I try, you never encourage me. You don't talk to me besides training periods. You once asked to be my friend. I trusted your words,, but you were an opportunist, sadist, and a misogynist. You have a hard time appreciating me. I wanted to be done with you. If you try to spoil my training with Amir, I won't hesitate to punch you", I ranted at him.

"You call that punch, I barely felt your punch. You are nothing but a time waste. I would give you money if you managed to do at least that single punch I taught you. Can you punch me, Mara and make me feel it? I know you can't. Maybe your parents were quitters too", he said. But before he complete that I punched him in his heart, he paused and doubled over. But he didn't fell over. Suddenly, everyone came to us. I know we were putting a good show.

Amir helped Lucien to get up, and he looked at me and gave me a finger salute and then walked away. I looked at him in bewildered. I was thinking there's going to be some retribution, but nothing happened. After that day, Lucien didn't come back to the training area.