You can't do this to me!

*Anos's POV*

The defense against the Dark Arts turned out to be a great surprise. I had expected it to be boring as hell since the practical aspects of the subjects are only taught from the third year onwards and even if they weren't I wouldn't expect Quirrell to make the subject interesting.

What I expected were monotonous lectures on how a certain plant will cause you to get hiccups for the next hour or something.

What I found was the absolute opposite of boring.

Quirrell was trying to show us a haze squirrel probably to hype the class up or something before the little thing scurried up his arm and bit him on the nose hard enough to draw blood.

Quirrell screamed like a little girl and tried to brush the creature away but the persistent little guy stuck on as Quirrell panicked and banged his head against a wall. He then fell to the floor seemingly unconscious.

The classroom was silent except for the little sound of blood dropping and the haze squirrel running off to God knows where.

That was until both Simon and I burst out laughing, not at all bothered by the bleeding teacher. Oh god, my stomach hurt I laughed so hard.

I would pay to watch that again a thousand times. If Quirrell wasn't the DDA teacher then I would've recommended him to join a circus or something.

"Haha... Hahahaha!" Simon was laughing behind me so hard he started to choke and Hermione hurried up to pass water to him.

"You... should giv..... it to... Teach." Simon said as his face started to redden.

"Hahahaha..... I... think that guy needs that more Hermione." I said gathering enough air to say that sentence before I started laughing again.

Besides me, Alucard made a dissatisfied sound.

" If this is the DDA teacher then half of this class will die to kittens." He said as he sighed.

" You don't say, good sir. But if that was intentional then that guy deserves an Oscar." I said trying and failing to catch my breath.

Of course, it wasn't intentional. He banged the back of his head on the wall and unless Voldemort is a masochist then he wouldn't have allowed his vassal to shove his head through a brick wall. Which made it all the more hilarious.

People say they have nightmares about the guy who is 5 feet away from me and can't even scratch his own nose.

"I'll go call another teacher." Hermione stood up but I held her hand.

"No... Please just give him a minute or two, I'm sure he'll awake and better than ever in a few moments." I said still chuckling.

Surprisingly Quirrell did wake up.

"Ahhh Blood!!!" And instantly bashed his forehead against the opposite wall. Balanced, as all things should be.

"Oh god..." I reeled back in my chair from laughter.

Professor Flitwick arrived after a few minutes. Looked at the open squirrel cage then at Quirrell and finally at me and Simon who were gasping for Breath.

Unsurprisingly class ended there and we all got to see our DDA teacher being carried off to the medical ward by Professor Flitwick using a floating charm.

*Bang*

While carrying Quirrell out of the class gate Professor Flitwick banged his head on the gate.

"Hahahahahah." Simon was on the floor clutching his stomach.

"Be careful Professor, a single more head collision and Professor Quirrell might get Amnesia," I said and I could almost feel tears coming out of my eyes.

All of us were free for the rest of the day so the test of the day passed uneventfully. That was until after dinner when I was asked to stay back.

"What could they be calling you for?" Harriet asked worriedly.

"Don't know," I said shrugging my shoulders.

So I just sat there and waited for all the teachers and students to get out until only Dumbledore was left.

"Care for some chocolate pudding?" Dumbledore offered.

"Sure," I replied. Can't really get cavities in this form.

"Why wear the mask?" Dumbledore asked as two plates of pudding appeared in front of us.

"Well I don't really have a beard or anything so it's not really a bother and most teachers can't tell it's me talking in the class when I wear it," I replied digging into the pudding.

Dumbledore chuckled stroking his bushy beard.

"And the blindfold?" He asked.

"Why do you ask? What if I've just got some eye disease or something."

"Oh but you never opened your eyes before you started wearing the blindfold and from what Severus tells me even he has never seen your eyes. I thought there might be a secret." Dumbledore said chuckling.

"A good magician never tells his secrets." I quoted Merlin.

" And a great magician takes those secrets to his grave," Dumbledore said finishing the last of his pudding.

" Never heard that one before," I said putting down my plate.

" So why did you call me? I don't think a bit of dessert warrants me being held back." I asked putting my mask on.

Dumbledore didn't say anything and passed on a piece of paper to me.

"Oh, the Prefect list right? So who did you choose?" I asked opening it.

" No one," Dumbledore replied and I saw all the names on the list were crossed off.

" Aww come on. What's wrong with the Weasley twins." I groaned as I read the list.

" The teachers don't find their particular talents Prefect worthy."

" Hey what's wrong with choosing Peeves?"

" Really?"

" Ok, that one was bad. But you've crossed off all the names." I said and crumpled the paper.

" Well besides the fact that all the students you asked for are below fifth year or are already Prefects of their own houses and can't be burdened with any more work I found the list reasonable," Dumbledore replied and I could feel the smug smile hiding in his beard.

'It's not my fault that those were the only interesting people.'

" Well, you got someone for me?" I said knowing he probably was gonna recommend a Gryffindor.

" Oliver Wood. He's a Gryffindor fifth year and the quidditch team captain." Bullseye.

"Absolutely not. I don't want a sports teacher for a Prefect. Can't you compromise for once?" I said firmly.

"Okay but tell me a name that I can at least present to the teachers before it's a No," Dumbledore said with a sigh.

" Cedric Diggory," I said my absolute last option.

"Who's that?" Dumbledore asked.

"You know shiny dude in Hufflepuff. He's a fourth-year and all the girls swoon over him and all that stuff." I said and Dumbledore hummed in thought.

"Nothing troublesome from what I know. I'll ask the other teachers. You'll have your answer by the end of the week. And if it's a no then we're going with Oliver." Dumbledore said and I nodded.

" Deal. Goodnight." I said and walked off.

_________

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