Chapter 55: Regrets and a badge

Harry kept an eye out on the closed door where Remus and Sirius were discussing what Remus claimed was 'too dangerous for young ears' as if that meant something to him. He was more than aware that Remus was here at Dumbledore's bidding. At least, he could understand why Remus Lupin blindly followed Dumbledore more than other grown adults of the fabled Order of Phoenix. The werewolf population of the wizarding world had always faced far greater discrimination than even muggleborns. He could guess the kind of discrimination Remus must have endured in early childhood. At that time, Dumbledore must have come across as a saviour like a speck of light in the dark world for a young boy.

Harry would even go far as to say Dumbledore most likely was genuine in his intentions when he allowed Remus to study at Hogwarts. He'd give that to the old man. However, that doesn't mean Dumbledore wasn't above cashing in on his good deeds of the past in the present.

On the other hand, he thought he was a hypocrite for judging Dumbledore. He was also using several people to meet his needs. Not to the same level as Dumbledore but given more time he'd catch up.

Harry shook his head and went back to reading the book on becoming an animagi. Sirius kept his word by giving him the relevant study materials for his animagus training. The Black family library was a gold mine when it comes to magical knowledge. The library remains a repository of arcane magical knowledge and he had been abusing the hell out of it. The ancient scrolls and makeshift books in Slytherin's chamber were also pure gold but most of the stuff in there was either too complicated or written in a long-dead language. Not to mention most of those spells were outdated and therefore too complex. The Founders' era was so long back that magic was not as developed as the present day. Most wizards and witches back then struggled to even control the elements and wands were not as common at that time. Therefore, a whole lot of spells were designed for a staff user. So far, Harry had kept his focus on the material left by Tom Riddle and that was not much.

Anyway, he doubted the Chamber of Secrets holds anything on animagus transformations. According to the books and scrolls Sirius gave him, the origin of animagus was far away from the European continent. There were two recognized sources of animagi magic. One was from Africa and the other from South America, modern-day Uganda and Brazil to be exact. The books spoke of an ancient tribe called Vanar in Africa where their wizards and witches from a young age learned to transform into beasts and function as the protectors of their tribe. Sadly, the information on the South American origin was not mentioned in detail. There were some wild conjectures but other than that there was not much information.

Exactly how the magic of the Vanar tribe became popular in Europe was not mentioned in the book but it became clear to Harry that wizards across the world practised the animagi techniques developed by the African tribe. Even now, Africa holds the largest number of animagi in the world. Sirius claimed children start their journey to become animagus as early as they start their formal magical education in Africa.

'Perhaps, the South American method is far more difficult and went out of practice.' Harry theorized.

Not that Harry had any notion that becoming an animagus was an easy process. Sticking a mandrake leaf in the mouth was only just one part of a long process. The ingredients required to make the potion was frankly way out of his league. There were just so many hurdles involved to perfect the potion but he was determined to see it through. One thing was for sure. His Hogwarts days were going to be rather difficult because of the perilous journey that was before him to become an animagus by the end of the year.

"Are they planning on coming out anytime soon?" Brigitte asked, plopping down on a plush chair wearing a yellow floral summer dress.

If it wasn't for the warming charms that were ubiquitous in Grimmulad place, Brigitte would have most likely been shivering like a leaf. The weather had been on a rollercoaster ride with long hours of rain and cloudy skies. It was a wonder how someone like Brigitte could spend her time here when she could be enjoying the warm sun of France.

He'd have chosen France in a heartbeat.

"They are old friends. I suppose they've got a bromance going on the sidelines." Harry said, marvelling at the fact that the all-translate charm Fleur taught him was one extremely useful spell.

He was having a full conversation with Brigitte without any linguistic impediments whatsoever. She'd hear everything he says in French while he'd hear everything she says in English. Whoever constructed this spell should be given an Order of Merlin.

"Bromance?" Brigitte looked at him and then at the closed door with a look of trepidation.

It was then Harry realized that Brigitte might not be familiar with that particular term. It was the 1990s and he doubted anyone was going around mentioning the word in the open. Not to mention the word must have had another meaning in French and that was when he realized a flaw in the all-speak spell.

'I certainly didn't know the tone or the vocabulary used when the language gets translated.'

Shaking that particular thought away he consoled Brigitte nothing was going on between Sirius and Remus other than brotherly love.

Thankfully, that seems to calm her down and soon after Remus and Sirius emerged from their secret meeting. The pained look on Remus' face spoke volumes about how their talk went through. Harry felt a bit sorry for Remus.

"That's a familiar book." Remus said tiredly falling into a couch facing Harry.

"Hmm… You remember it then Moony." Sirius smirked.

"How could I forget?" Remus looked at the book in nostalgia.

A silent look passed between Sirius and Remus before Sirius let out a sigh.

"Brigitte, let's go look for that straw hat you said you liked in Diagon Alley." said Sirius.

"In this weather?" Brigitte asked incredulously looking at Sirius as if he had gone mad.

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun." Sirius insisted.

"All right. While we are on the way I'd like to know more about this 'bromance' you are having." said Brigitte, once she was nearly out of the door thanks to Sirius dragging her outside.

Harry snickered as he heard the indignant growl from Sirius and the threats his godfather issued.

"Do I need to know what that's about?" Remus asked bemused.

"Just a little bit of fun." Harry shrugged.

"How're you, Harry?"

He could see the struggle Remus was in and took pity on the man.

"I'm quite fine." Harry answered, shaking his head. Closing his book, he gave Remus his undivided attention. "You don't need to beat around the bush. You can speak candidly. You're here with Dumbledore's bidding."

"Harry you're mistaken about Dumbledore. He does not intend anything bad happens to you or Sirius."

"I don't blame you for believing that with all your heart. I won't even disparage the trust you have in the Headmaster. But keep in mind Remus the trust and gratitude that you feel towards Dumbledore is born out of your personal experience. In that same vein, what I feel regarding Dumbledore is born out of my experience."

"Harry, Dumbledore is a good man. He…"

"Has he confined you to a home filled with abusive muggles since you were one year old? Did he look on with complete apathy as you were treated like a slave without even knowing your name for well over five years? Did he confine you to a home where you are starved out most of your days while forced to cook meals, clean the gardens, wipe the floors, and wash clothes while getting beaten up for so much as looking in the wrong direction? Did he leave you at a house where its inhabitants call you freak?" Harry asked, his face a mask of cold indifference as the memories of those events resurfaced.

The memories that lay asleep within the bell bottom of his mind were suddenly resurfacing. He had pushed all of that down for a simple reason. He didn't want to murder Petunia and Vernon Dursley not out of any familial love but fearing the attention their deaths would bring upon his head. Else he'd have quite easily killed those two wastes of space a long time ago. It was his charity that the Dursleys were breathing and he hoped to never see those two ever again for their sakes.

"Harry… I… What?" Remus sputtered.

"Let me tell you something, Remus. Between Voldemort and Dumbledore, I consider Dumbledore my most hated enemy. It's because I know I'd have suffered a painless death at Voldemort's hand when I was a baby. But Dumbledore had me tortured by those monsters for thirteen years. I'd have rather died than suffer the Dursleys." said Harry, taking to his feet and staring down at a shocked Remus.

"You're wasting time if you are working as an emissary of that old coot. And Remus, the Dumbledore you know is not the Dumbledore I know. Lines will be drawn in this war and make no mistake Remus there is a line between me and all my enemies. When the war begins, I hope you have the presence of mind to stay on the right side of the line. Because I'll show no mercy to those who stand on the other side of the line whomever they are or whatever reason they have."

XXXXXXX

Dumbledore stared unseeingly into the night sky that was reflected on the ceiling of the Great Hall. Sometimes, he wondered whether it was a curse to have been born with magical power as he was. It had only brought him grief and tragedy throughout life.

'No.' he admonished himself. 'Thinking that way leads to nowhere.'

He had to believe all the grief, loss, and pain he had suffered was for something. That there was a purpose to all that was his life. That his father was put in Azkaban and the death of Arianne was a lesson for him from fate or destiny that the great power that was bestowed on him has a purpose for the greater good. His power was not for his betterment or his family's or not even just for the wizarding world. He was blessed with this great power for the benefit of the whole world, both muggle and magical. But he had once again naively assumed he was destined to unite their two worlds and that's where he failed with Tom Riddle.

He could see it clearly now. Tom, a descendant of Salazar Slytherin and of muggle descent was meant to unite them all. Young Tom was blessed with great power and charisma. Destiny had led him right to Tom's doorstep and he showed the boy only suspicion and disrespect. If he had taken it upon himself to guide young Tom and took the boy under his tutelage the world that was would've been different.

He could only regret his actions and curse his hubris.

'Hubris. My fatal flaw.' Dumbledore thought painfully.

When his father died in Azkaban, he went out into the world to redeem the family name and honour. He thought that was his destiny seeing as he was blessed with great magic. For a time, he thought his father went to Azkaban because the man was not strong enough to stand against the might of his fellow wizards. Since then, he had toiled with his magic, learning everything like a hungry beast with no limits or concerns. For the sake of power and power alone he learned never realizing the true gift of magical education was not power but rather grace. He thought falsely that might make him right. It took him the loss of Arianne to see what he had done to those whom he loved. He saw the pain he so callously inflicted on those he thought he was protecting with his great power.

To this day, not a night goes by when he does not see the eyes of his dearly departed sister. Her cold lifeless eyes always looked at him every night bereft of love and life all because he was such a fool. His sweet Arianne whom he so loved and hoped to cure what she had lost to those that abused her died because of him. Even today after all these years he never revisited that memory to see whether it was by his hand she departed from this world. His vision turned foggy all of a sudden. With a start, he realized tears were flowing from his eyes.

'No river of tears will bring her back or absolve me of my sin.' Dumbledore thought with heart-wrenching pain while the image of his long-lost sibling vividly emerged in his mind.

All the sacrifices and pain had to have been for something. He had led Tom astray and now he feared that he was leading Harry astray. If even Remus had spurred him after talking with Harry, then he knew he needed to do some serious introspection.

'Have I gone blind once more? Have I made the same mistakes I made with Tom?' Dumbledore thought worriedly.

Looking back at his actions he was reconsidering the merits of leaving Harry with his muggle relatives. He had put the safety offered by the blood wards he erected over the concerns raised by Minerva and Arabella Figg. He knew Harry was treated as an unwanted child in the Dursley household. Arabella had told him as much but he had always assumed Petunia would see Harry as one of her own eventually. After all, he had also been led astray forgetting his family in his quest for power but later realized the error of his ways. He had wanted the same chance for Petunia to see her sister's son as her own and treat Harry better in their home.

'But now I see how foolish I was to think so.'

Dumbledore wiped away his tears and took a deep breath. There was no point in wallowing in the mistakes of the past. No amount of regret on his side could restore Harry's happiness. As powerful as he was, he could not turn back time and change the past. However, he took a vow that he'd be better when it comes to Harry. He'd apologize and prove he can be dependable in front of Harry.

'This academic year I'll make things right.' Dumbledore thought, feeling a sliver of warmth and confidence return to his heart. 'I promise you, James and Lily. I'll not let your sacrifice be in vain. I'll not let your son fall into the dark like Tom.'

XXXXXXXX

"You know you've been staring at that thing for too long, don't you Harry?" Fleur purred into his ears, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Yeah, I know." he muttered, looking at the silver badge sitting on the bedside that arrived with his Hogwarts letter informing him of the books and other utensils required for his fifth year.

He was quite surprised that he was chosen as a fifth-year prefect. That was so out of character for Dumbledore to give him any sense of power or control over his life both outside and inside Hogwarts.

'Something has changed.' Harry frowned. 'Is this some kind of test from the old man?'

He couldn't help but wonder what sort of Ponzi scheme Dumbledore was planning right now. By the looks of it, the Ministry officials have been running around like headless chickens after the werewolf attacks across many parts of the wizarding world and muggle world. From what he has gathered so far from Sirius, who later filled him in on everything Remus said, the Ministry was covering up the true extent of the attacks from the werewolves. This has done a lot of harm to Fudge rather than keeping his ministry afloat. His own hardcore supporters were fracturing and demanding a far harsher werewolf legislation bill passed in the Wizengamot.

Whatever Voldemort thought he was achieving with these senseless attacks it seems to have taken the heat off of Dumbledore. According to Remus, more and more people are trusting Dumbledore as they could see and feel there is something seriously amiss. Even at the height of Voldemort's power Greyback has not dealt the kind of damage he has left on the wizarding world. So, people are convinced either the Ministry was doing a poor job or Dumbledore was not as crazy as the Ministry was trying to paint.

"If you are going to stare vacantly then I'm going." Fleur huffed, trying to slip out of his bed.

Harry caught her by her waist and pulled her into the bed with him making her squeal. The silky sheet that was covering her nude body slipped and he immediately pressed himself against her capturing her ruby lips in a searing kiss. Their tongues battled in a frenzy and Fleur was not willing to concede the bout. He broke it off and took some much-needed air conceding the battle.

Fleur looked at him with a foxy grin knowing that she won that round.

XXXX Warning: A small Lemon scene XXXX

Harry smirked and dived straight for her breasts taking her nipple into his mouth making her let out a long moan. Harry loved hearing the sounds she makes when he pays proper attention to her breasts. He knew it turns her wild whenever he goes for her breasts. He could feel her toes curling on the bed as he lapped up at her breasts, sucking and biting around her areola. He could feel Fleur shiver in delight whenever he switched one breast to another and whenever he took more liberties with certain nips at the edges of her teats.

Not wanting to come off as a one-trick pony, he moved up kissing and licking his way over her cleavage into her neck. When he kissed her pulse point Fleur let out a laugh that made him smirk against her skin. He couldn't wait anymore so he pulled her up with him and made her sit on his lap with her legs wrapped around him and her arms wrapped around his shoulder.

"Do it HARRY!" Fleur ended up screaming his name as he plunged inside her warm core.

He was shivering in excitement as Fleur began to set her own pace as she rode him without any prompting. He grabbed her ass cheeks for further leverage as she speared herself on his length.

"Oh, Harry!" Fleur moaned, her silver hair turning wild as it danced enticingly behind her with each thrust she made.

She dragged him down with her into the bed and Harry allowed her. They made sweet love for the rest of the night wasting not a moment knowing that his time with her was running short.