CHAPTER 2: UNDER A PSEUDONYM ; DAY 1

"Appearances make impressions, but it is the personality that makes an impact – Anonymous"

Later, Shasha's new pseudonym IG account had been created and linked to her Tellonym. The guy from the Tellonym sent his request to follow and not long after that, he sent a message asking for Shasha's Whatsapp.

'Huh?..Come on..I gave you an inch and you wanted to take a mile? No way!'.

Shasha snorted before she replied, {My Whatsapp exclusively for the messages from my kids' teachers.}

Then Shasha sneered. There was no more reply. Shasha breathed a sigh of relief.

She deleted her Tellonym account afterward 'cos it was not interesting at all to read all those silly questions and answers from the teenagers.

However, she was still using her pseudonym IG account since sometimes she needed to let something out from her mind that she couldn't show in her real account.

Then few days later, she sent a request based on her instinct to one guy who looked quite young, but she was just trying her luck.

Few hours later, she received a follow request from that young guy, after he accepted hers.

Why she didn't send any follow request to a girl? That was because, in her opinion, made friends with girls were the same as made friends with gossips and drama queens, which she couldn't afford to handle. She had enough already. Furthermore, girls were more sceptical about everything.

Shasha was reading for hours already, she didn't know what else to do since she hated to take a nap in the afternoon and even sleeping at night. She slept just to rest her body.

She looked at the young guy's IG feeds. There were only 5 pictures of him.

His name was Eden Ozzie and below his name there was only the letters IUU which might indicate where he was studying. She saw one of his pictures which stated his location. So, she assumed he was from IXXX Country.

From his appearance, 'he looked like a sweet boy'. Shasha thought to herself and she sent a message saying hello.

Not long after that she received a reply from Eden. {hello.}

Shasha told him, {I'm sorry if I disturb you but I only want to chat with someone.}

He replied few seconds later. {No problem, you're not disturbing me, we can chat.} Then he asked her where she came from.

Since Shasha didn't reveal anything about herself except for a couple of photos of hers on her pseudonym account without stating her location, so it was understandable to receive that question.

She said she came from SXXX and asked him whether he knew where it was.

He said it was quite difficult to find it.

Shasha chuckled and she typed, {Yeah, it was not really a well-known place. But you can find it if you look under the name of MXXX Country.}

Afterward Eden said he finally found it.

Shasha told him, she knew he came from IXXX Country from the location stated in one of his photos, and Shasha told him IXXX Country was such a beautiful country and she wished she could go there one day. One of her friends went there for her vacations for so many times and she kept on saying how great the place was.

Then Shasha asked, {Are you still studying?}

Eden answered, {Yes. I will be in my 2nd year next semester.}

Shasha typed {What course are you in?}

Eden replied, {I'm taking an Engineering course.}

He was a boy with few words and Shasha didn't intend to ask how old he was because by right, she knew Eden was in his 20s.

Shasha asked again, {Whatchudoin?}

Eden said he was reading a book.

Shasha thought she had found a gem at last, and she asked, {What book are you reading? I also like to read but not a book. I'm more into online novels}

Eden told her he liked to read anything from a novel to biography, as long as there was something to read.

"Wow..biography huh?" Shasha raised her eyebrows and said to herself.

She was in awe with a kid. Even the 47 years old woman like her would not really like to read biography. Even when she was 20, she wouldn't know what biography meant. She used to be ignorant. At that age, she only knew most of the night clubs in the city.

Eden asked her, {Are you also a student?}

'Omo..what should I say?' Shasha felt unsure for the first time when she got a question from a boy.

She didn't like to lie, and she also didn't want to lie but she knew she could not tell Eden the truth that she was 47 years old ahjumma. She thought the time was not right yet to tell him.

So Shasha replied to his question. {Yes and No, I'm learning new things everyday but I'm not learning it at any college right now 🤭, I'm still looking for something to do with my life. I'm having a brain fart 😂. But I used to be Economics student at the university but I quit. So, are you staying at a hostel or something or you are having your semester break rn?}

The reply came. {I'm staying with my parents at my hometown at this moment, we are still having our long summer break. When I go back to my college, I'm staying in dorm. You don't have any Economy student among your friends.}

Shasha thought she needed to be honest about her pseudonym account where she only had 8 followers including him. She didn't want him to think she was some kind of scammer.

So, she answered {Well, actually this is my new account. I do have another account which most of my followers are people who I know whole my life, sometimes I need to be myself without showing it to them. It's hard to explain}

{I see. So, are you staying with your parents?} Eden asked.

Shasha was typing to ask him something but paused when she saw the question.

She deleted what she typed before and told him, {I'm not staying with my parents.} That was not a lie, it was true though.

Then Shasha asked, {When will your new semester starts?}

He said he still had 8 days before his new semester started. Before that he asked why Shasha was not staying with her parents.

Shasha gave him the best answer without lying that she could think of. {Because I'm an adult already, so, I need to be independent.}

Eden replied, {I see. I also want to move out from my parent's house once I become an adult. I want to be independent too.}

Shasha told him that was a good plan. The more you see the outside world, the more you will understand the meaning of life. That was what Shasha used to experience.

Then he sent a message. {Rn, I'm at outside with my friends, so there will be a late reply from me, don't be mad okay?}

'Aww..so sweet' Shasha was giggling like a teenage girl when she saw his message. It was kind of weird to think how the 20 years old boy could bring the feeling of being a teenager back in Shasha.

She could say that the feeling was like she had a crush on a celebrity at the first sight. You could only look but couldn't touch. It was the feeling which she felt when she was in her teens, but she lost it long time ago.

She had met few friends of her kids but maybe because they knew her, so it was awkward as if they couldn't chat with someone older than them like they were chatting with their friends of the same age. They would act like good kid in front of the elders.

There were always this kind of unsaid rules which telling youngsters must act like a youngster, elders should act like an elder. Even when communicating, there would be some sort of barriers which prevent them from understanding each other individually.

'What a nonsense rule anyway. We are just human beings no matter what age we are! A spect of dust in the universe.' Shasha retorted in her own mind.

For her, as long as her children respect and love her as their mother, that would be good enough. Respect is earned not given.

Shasha told him not to worry and she would not get mad. She understood since he was young anyway and told him to have fun like what she always told her kids when they hanged out with their friends.

Shasha tittered and then she sighed. She picked up her guitar, unconsciously her mind was reminiscing her past life while she was strumming her favourite song.

At 16, she used to be an Economy student in the well-known international University Matriculation in her country. But after a year and a half studying at that place, she was suspended for a year on the pretext of misbehaving and didn't follow the rules of the university and after she got back from the suspension, she had been dismissed from the university for her bad result.

She spent most of her time while studying there with enjoying herself in the night clubs by borrowing her friend's ID since she was underage at that time and had fun with her friends. She used to be a party girl when she was in a high school by sneaking out from her house at night.

The truth was, she had no interest at all in the course she was taking, and she intentionally did extremely bad in the exams. Furthermore, she hated that place. It was selected by her father, so she just followed what had been chosen for her like a good kid even though in fact, she was a total rebellious and wild daughter.

After her dismissal from that university, she got herself a job in her hometown at Korean Construction Company as a telephonist. She learnt how to speak Korean language a little, so long as the Korean staff and their wives who always made a call understood what she was saying, that would be enough.

She was happy with her work and on the same time, she was saving half of her salary monthly for a year so that she could further her study again at one of the institutes which she was interested in for a long time.

Even though she knew her father would not give a permission for her to study again, she still applied herself. He was extremely disappointed in her for being dismissed from the place he chose before. Was it fair for Shasha? Of course not, but what else could she do? She was 16 at that time.

She could finish her high school earlier than other kids not because she was a genius or something. There were few reasons which she herself couldn't really remember.

By the time after the suspension, the dismissal, and a year of working with the Korean company, she was 20 when she got an offer from the ITT Institutes the one that she had applied for. She chose Diploma in Executive Secretaryship course.

It would take 4 years including 1 year pre-diploma course. She thought she liked being a secretary who wore a formal suit and looked professional.

At the time of her departure to the institutes, her father didn't send her at the airport. It was surely a sad thing but Shasha just kept on telling herself, she would be fine. Without the blessings from her father, she could also finish her studies. That was what she thought at that time.

Life surely was unpredictable and the more she thought she could handle the wild side of hers, the more it ruined her.

She had done very well in the 1st year until she became a 2nd year student where there were a lot of necessities needed for her studies, but her father did not send her enough money to cover all her important expenses.

So, she started to get a part time job at one of the night clubs in the city and decided not to stay in the dorm. She rented a flat with her other 7 friends.

Her part time job gave her a lucrative salary. At first, she only worked mostly on weekends since she had classes on the weekdays but later, she started to go to work on weekdays too and always absent for her classes.

She even went to the classes with the smell of alcohol all over her and she also started to take weeds. She had been a smoker since she was in a junior high school. So, taking weeds were nothing for her.

At the end, she could not finish her studies. She still felt it was not the end of her life. She intended to stay in the city, far away from her family to be independent and furthermore, she didn't want to be controlled by her father.

She found a job through one job agency at the International Consulting company as a Personnel Assistant.

At that moment she had a boyfriend, Jeffrey, a 3rd year electrical engineering student and 2 years younger than her. He was also as wild as her. At first, she thought they were so good together but after one year in relationship, they always had big fights and he started to hit her.

She thought she couldn't leave him and loved him so much until she made the biggest mistake in her life where she got pregnant with his baby.

She was working permanently at the consulting company for nearly a year when she got herself pregnant. The job was so promising and could secure her future, she was very happy working there, but she messed her life up again and again.

She could not dare to do the abortion, so she decided to keep the baby. She stopped going to the night clubs, drinking alcohols and taking weeds.

She intended to marry her boyfriend, but one incident change her decision when one day Jeffrey was mad at her again, but this time it caused by another girl. He hit her face and kicked her bulging belly.

Her memory stopped there when she heard there was a new message came in.