Chapter 57: Failure

At first, I was clumsy while using the darn tablet and fell victim to strange sites and the wrong pages, but eventually, I got used to the rhythm. However, I still stared at things I wished I'd forgotten.

Why do people post those kinds of things?! Ek! No! Go away!

Shade rolled around the bed, enjoying every reaction I had whenever I spotted indecencies on the screen. It didn't help that most of the red moon searches ended with invitations to the orgy the witchcraft community was planning.

Luckily, I found an article about the red moon and Fenris before more privates appeared on the screen. The same company that did my hit piece published it a few days ago, allowing me to learn the exact date it would occur.

The third day of the seven-day festival starts in around two weeks.

It also spoke about the marriage between Fenris and Layla, which would happen the week after the festival. Much to my dismay, it mentioned how excited everyone was about it. Sadly, that was where it ended, leaving me feeling hollow and lacking any accurate information.

The Lycans are trying their hardest to keep everything secret. Why though?

At the same time, witchcraft users were excited to do the sexual ritual to absorb the moon's power, caring little about the Lycans and their secrets. The only choice left for me was to find out information from Fenris.

Perhaps, if I approached it correctly, I could make him tell me everything I wanted. Putting the search information about the red moon on hold, I dove into what the sites said about the nether world.

The lack of data was way worse than for the red moon. Even the hit piece about me from the event was nowhere to be found anymore. People still spoke about it on social sites, wondering if it was true or just a hoax.

Cerberus had a great way to scrub information they didn't want out. The turn of events left me feeling heated and grumbling under my breath. Perhaps I wasn't using the device correctly, but it appeared useless.

Melody even warned me to be careful of what I placed value in, informing me that some of the data on the web was inaccurate. My inexperience with it was showing its ugly face, leaving me unsure if I could believe anything I read.

The forbidden library was the only other way. They would never scan those books into the system, but being stuck indoors until the foreseeable future made a second trip impossible. No matter what trail of breadcrumbs I tried to follow, it always ended in a dead end.

When Fenris came in after discussing a few things with Liam and Ben outside, he informed the journalist who published the article that he would rescind it in the morning. They would label it misinformation and inaccurate, which was released without proof.

After assuring me everything would be fine, he headed towards the bathroom to wash off the day. Outside, the crowds dispersed on Ryker's orders right after he spoke through the coms. The elf told everyone that they framed the article in lies.

I wasn't sure how many believed him or how long it would last, but it bought us time. Fenris spent a while in the shower while I tried to make sense of the tablet, to no avail. When he was out of the shower, he searched for me on my bed, only to find me on top of his.

At this point, the tablet's battery had died, and I couldn't find the strength to plug it in. I lay there, defeated by the complexity of the damned thing.

I can't handle another one of those.

Shade snickered, sitting next to me. My goodness, Lily! We saw so many penises! None come in comparison to—

"What are you doing over there? Come over here." My wolf invited me, not letting the little cat finish her remark.

I shook my head, not wanting to move, before biting my lip.

I'm running out of time—Melody's right. I need to talk to you, the only high-ranking Lycan I know.

Sadly, Liam would do nothing against Fenris's wishes.

"No," I refused to move from where I was.

Instantly, he was on top of me with that unfair speed. His eyes shimmered, alerting me that he was irritated.

"What do you mean, no?" he growled, leaning closer to me.

His wet hair let tiny droplets fall onto my cheeks while I gazed at him, trying to steady myself for what was coming. I wanted to do it more subtly, but my frustration wouldn't allow me.

Anger always gets the better of me; being around you influences me.

"I want to know everything about you," I replied, leaving him puzzled.

"You already know everything about me." Fenris huffed, raising his eyebrows.

My words were too vague to convey what I wanted. Though I didn't take kindly to the lie, he was trying to make me buy.

"Stella... she used to call you the cursed moon child... Why is that? And what connection do you have to the coming blood moon?" I confronted, focusing my glance on him.

He growled upon hearing her name, narrowing his eyes before flashing his fangs.

"I don't see why it should matter." He scoffed, turning the atmosphere heavy.

Shaking my head, I grabbed onto his arms. "It matters to me!" I confronted him.

There was no way I would back down, and Fenris was probably my only shot at knowing anything about what was coming. The desperation was getting the best of me.

So much for finessing it, Lilith.

My wolf studied me, an obvious sign he did when he was suspicious of what I was hiding, yet my worry was something I couldn't hold back much longer. The red that stained my hands in my dreams became visible again, triggering me to pull away from his skin.

I wasn't as stable as I wanted him to believe.

No… I never will be.

"Lily..." Fenris worried about my reaction.

"I know I'm not dependable, but it's driving me crazy! What if she's planning on hurting you again?!" I snapped, holding onto my arms.

Everything was difficult to hide from him, especially since I continually reached out to him for anything before this.

You'll be away from me once the festival begins. If I tell you everything, will you stay with me?

"Lily, I'll be fine. We haven't seen Stella in years. She's probably rotting in some hole." Fenris tried to assure me of his safety.

His words didn't help quell the raging storming within me. My heart wanted to rip out of me, pounding in my ears.

"You don't know her as I do! She wouldn't disappear so easily!" I snapped, shivering at the thought of her touching him.

That woman was pure malevolence in my eyes.

There isn't a good bone found in her body, and roaches are hard to kill.

Slowly, the silver wolf glanced toward where the canvases were stored before gazing back at me.

Crap, I forgot how cunning you are.

Unwittingly, I had stepped right into his grasp. I wasn't good at playing with people.

I never wanted to. All I ever wanted was to be your equal. Why is that so hard?

"Is this all because of that dream? You drew a girl kneeling in the distance of a demon back at the manor that burned down six years ago. Did that have another meaning you aren't telling me?" Fenris questioned, eyes turning cold towards me.

Even though I had tried to avoid mentioning the dream at all costs, it appeared my demeanor betrayed me. The blood moon was the first thing I saw during that dream, prompting me to feel wary of the upcoming celebration.

The thought that this could all be a part of my imagination never left me.

But is it? That felt too real to be a dream. I...

The way the life in Fenris's eyes faded was too much to hold in; it shook me more than the current expression on his face.

Anger I can deal with. You dying is unbearable! 

"I..." I trailed off.

How did it turn out this way?

He wasn't someone to deceive, either. Perhaps if I told him the truth, he would share what I wanted.

But will you?

Grabbing me from behind, he held me close to his chest.

"Lilith, tell me," Fenris whispered into my ear, trying to entice me to tell him everything.

However, it had the opposite effect.

Why can't you trust me?

"How can you expect me to share when you don't?!" I snapped, causing the wolf to growl.

Unwittingly, I had confirmed that I was hiding something. He was annoyed, and so was I. It hurt that he wouldn't confide in me. Even after all these years together, he went at everything like a lone wolf.

"Lilith, if you don't tell me everything. How can I protect you?" he shot back, letting me go.

I didn't back down; instead, I turned to face the fired-up Lycan.

Not this time! No... You won't do as you please!

Though, I knew this went back to when we were kids. If I had told him everything that day on the beach, perhaps this would've been a different story.

Too bad we can't travel back in time! Even so, I can't give in to you!

"What about me? I want to protect you too!" I argued back, only for him to scuff at my words.

His eyes twitched, shimmering brightly.

"It isn't your job to do so!" Fenris snapped, opening a hole in my chest, much like a black hole that ate away at my warmth, leaving me cold where I stood.

I felt stings in my chest, triggering me to clasp onto my dress. I had forgotten myself in the moments we shared in the past week.

Even though I always knew how you felt about me, it hurts to hear those words.

"Is that so?" words escaped my lips, trying to close the emotions that wanted to lash out.

His eyes widened upon noticing my expression. The raging storm within me was bursting without anything to stop it.