Chapter 4

Get married! -Cami exclaimed, stupefacta- it's absolute madness! You can't speak seriously.

-Yes, of course. Totally.

-Is...

-Think of another option as long as you want - it was interrupted by Benja - but whatever we think is best for us, we have to put the baby first.

- And I'm thinking about the baby!

-Are you sure? Let's review the options - Benja lifted a finger. Number one: Abort. It is not the best for him.

-No. And I have already told you that this is not an option - Cami said.

-Number two: I thank you for coming and telling me something so interesting, and I wish you well in life. Our child grows up without a father.

-As you say, it sounds like...

-I'm not going to lie, Cami. Having a parent is important. I know because I have a very good one.

-Ok -Cami put the fork on the table. Suddenly, the food was uninteresting. I also believe you have the right to know your child.

-Know it? -Benja made a gesture with which he rejected such a proposal- . That is not enough.

-Until a few hours ago, you knew nothing of this.

-And until a few days ago, you were going to deliver the baby," he replied.

-To my cousin, who had lost the opportunity to become pregnant because of my guilt. And to a couple who loved himself, as he believed.

-As you want. But now you see that everything is different and your feelings have changed, isn't it?

-Yes, of course yes.

-So it happens to me.

-I want the baby. He is not to blame for this disaster.

-And I refuse to be a father and not to exercise as such. God knows that Mary and I try to have a baby for years. But, above all, look.

Benja pulled a brown leather wallet out of his jeans' back pocket, opened it and approached Cami. There was a family photo. A large family: He, his parents and the seven brothers he had spoken about.

In the center there was a brunette woman, a little tired, with some belly, but radiant with happiness. Shoulder to shoulder There was a man about fifty years old, with gray hair and some crooked of shoulders. The children surrounded them. Cami told them slowly: Yes, eight in total, all strong, mores and guapos. Finally, he identified it.

They had surprised the brothers as they played to fight. They were stuck with arms, with natural smiles; they were identical: White teeth, bright eyes, flared hair, biceps in tension... The blood loop was evident.

Cami thought he had never seen a photo that captured the word love more clearly. Suddenly, he wanted to be part of that photo, to have a place in a family like that. This could compensate, in part at least, for the premature death of his father, as well as the neglect and abandonment of his mother.

But what else did he give? Committing the madness of marrying Benja would not make her part of her family

-Eight children- she said softly. Desired, beloved, protected and well educated.

-You're all the same- said Cami.

-I know. Genes don't fool. No one could deny that we are brothers. Nor who our parents are. I grew up with that feeling of belonging to a home, to a human group. I don't say that everyone develops that feeling, but I have it and I want my son to hurt it. I do not think I will settle for less, whatever the circumstances.

-You won't want us to live together!

His eyes tied together for an instant, and then both turned their eyes away. If the first step toward marriage was physical attraction, Cami thought, there was no doubt that it existed.

It floated between the two as an electric current, yet it had not been realized until that time.

-Look -Benja looked at her in the eyes-. It is clear that we can address this situation in many different ways. But I don't settle for a weekend visit from time to time. I want shared custody and be legally recognized as the baby's father. In fact, I want it in my life. To love him, to know him and to grow by his side. And you'll be part of the rest of my family. Forever. That is why I want us to marry and live under the same roof; at least, until the baby is born. It's very hard to be alone and pregnant. It is better to have someone to support, so why not me?

Cami released a rime of nervousness and helplessness. It was all I could do. That was…

-It's true, it's crazy- Benja continued, guessing her thoughts. But the whole situation is madness from the beginning. Neither of us woke up one morning and thought it would be great to have a baby with someone we know nothing about. God, you got into this because you wanted to help a cousin who risked his life for you long ago; but you didn't know he was lying to you. Only that crumbles the main reason for this pregnancy… As far as I am concerned, a few hours ago I was not sure if I would ever become a father. And, of course, I didn't think I would marry again, like when I was twenty years old and a ton of teenage hormones. If that was love, I hope it will not repeat itself.

-And yet, you propose me to marry you- Cami replied.

-Do you know? -Benja remained thoughtful-. I really think that's better. No expectations. That will save us any possible disappointment.

Just hope we learn to respect ourselves, for the sake of the baby.

-Do you think this relationship would last?

-Rare things happen. Let's give us a chance, until the baby is born. What do they call him? Marriage of convenience, isn't it? No different sex and current accounts. The rest, we share everything. We will put it in writing, a kind of premarital agreement, and when the baby is born, we renegotiate- Benja said. Unless you're with someone else- he added, seeing Cami ring.

-No, no -He rushed to answer.

That had been another reason to leave California. Breaking with Chochi had been the right thing, though not nice. He had not thought it important to have slept with his secretariat, but Cami had not been of the same opinion.

It was history, but the wound had not healed yet. In the background, he shared Benja's disenchantment with regard to love. The question was, did she think, like him, that a marriage of convenience could last more than a month?

-I need to think about it- Cami said.

-I know -Benja understood-. So let's eat. And then I'll take you to your hotel. Unless you prefer to stay here.

-No -She refused-. Thank you, but I need to be alone.

-I understand. I don't want to press you with this. Not tonight.

The surface of Lake Diamond looked like a black ice rink. As they moved forward, Cami put a hand in the water and let the waves that the speedboat raised caress her fingers. At the other side of the lake, peace and calmness were breathed. It was almost midnight and Benja was taking her to Bolton Landing, the hotel where Cami had a reservation.

As soon as the dinner was over, he had repeated his offer to stay with him; but Cami had insisted on her need to be alone and Benja had understood.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the hotel: It wasn't the cheapest, but almost. He noticed the face of apprehension Benja put at the front, which was as stylish as a Boy Scout camp. Cami had chosen him so, not being sure what Benja's reaction was going to be, he had decided to start saving as much as possible for the baby.

-You could have played your cards differently- Cami said at the time.

-Play my cards?

-You could have asked me for money. A lot of money. I'm surprised you didn't -Benja explained, who took the slap she tried to paint on time. Sorry, I didn't say so in that sense. Seriously! I have expressed myself badly; what I wanted to say is that... I respect you, do you understand? For not having done so. Many women would have done so, he added by way of clarification.

Cami dropped her hand slowly, but he continued to hold her by the wrist. Disturbed by the rubbing of his hand, though still angry by Benja's comment, he took an indignant half-turn and put the key in the lock.

-Let's go, Cami! It is enough - he insisted. He was standing behind her. He put his hands on Cami's waist and then on her belly, hugged her. She could notice her heartbeat against her back. Our baby is growing there inside. We have just had a minute to think what that means. We have both told us ugly things and have drowned out throughout the day. And we have sought answers and solutions as if this were a disaster; a cancer or a bankruptcy. But it is not. What has happened is incredible: We have a baby, Cami. Yours and mine. He's brewing right now in your belly. That brings us together forever. It is a bond that will never break, whatever happens. And we have to try to keep the bond firm, don't you think?

-Yes,- Cami whispered, melted by his words, as well as by the heat of his hands.

-It's what makes the world go ahead. The reason for the human race to rise up every morning.

-I know -She said, about to cry, shocked.

So, very carefully, before realizing what was going on, Benja turned her half way between her arms and tilted her face in search of her mouth.

At first, the pressure on his lips was soft, almost interrogative. Cami responded immediately, fiery and hungry. The wooden floor creaked when he leaned down to kiss her deeper, as he hugged her so strongly that Cami could have fainted without fear of falling. But he wasn't fainted, no. On the contrary, he had never felt more alive and conscious. He noticed Benja's hips, strong and masculine, against his waist; I noticed her thighs, solid as stones, against her skirt and, above all, I noticed her mouth, sweet, demanding, full of promises…

-How is it possible that we have not known ourselves until today? - Benja asked with a rough voice-. It is not! It should be some form of amnesia. We certainly made love to conceive our baby, even though we have now forgotten it. I can almost see you naked on my bed while I make you happy. I can hear you, smell you and savor you. I can feel what it has to be to make you love. Is it crazy?

-No- Cami whispered. It's not madness. It's the same for me. It's the baby, Benja.

-The baby. If the baby is capable of this, you have to marry me," he said, to conquer Cami's mouth again.

Yes, they would marry. Benja was right: At that time, it was the only thing that seemed logical.