Chapter 12 - Here We Go Again...

Selena's POV:

“Don’t scare me, baby. This isn’t you! Please, for God’s sakes, tell me where you are! Don’t fucking kill me!” He snaps at me. I would too. “Selena? Are you there? Please. Tell me where you are. I’m begging you. Don’t do anything stupid.”

I take a deep breath. “I’m alright.” I push away all the thoughts I’ve just had. “I’m good. It’s OK. I’ve had too much lately.” I stop crying. I realize that my parents need me. I have responsibilities. I have to save the house. I need to make money. I need to run the company. I need to overcome everything. I can’t lose it. “Don?”

“Yes, baby?” I can sense he’s heartbroken from his voice.

“You know I love you, right? Not the way you want, but I do.” I get my strength back.

“I know. Where are you? I’m coming.” I’m so sorry I’ve made him worry like this because of me.

“I’m in a parking lot at some supermarket. Don’t worry. I have my sanity back. I have to thank you for that. After the race tonight, I promise I’ll personally make you lunch tomorrow as a thank you. I’ll prepare your favorite. See you tonight! Love you!” I end the call.

I know he would want to come. But I want some alone time. My heart is warmed that I still have someone to talk to that knows and understands me. That I don’t need to explain myself or my actions. I take a picture of the supermarket and send it to him with the message;

‘Here I am, but I’m going to my office. I’ll stay there until the race. Don’t tell me you won’t allow me. I need the money. Don’t come, I know you have responsibilities, too. XOXO.’

He sends me a message as I’ve rejected his calls.

‘I’ll be waiting for you in your office. Don’t you dare not to be there! Love you.’

I guess I still have to see him. OK.

I get the car going but not before sending Dad a message, lying to him that I have some things to work on for my New York job and I’ll use the office. I tell him that I will be late and not wait for me at dinner. I feel bad for lying, but you can’t tell your parent that you are going racing at 31, and possibly get injured. He would freak out. I have no other ways to get money in the amounts that are needed. I don’t want this, but I have no choice.

When I reach my office, Don is sitting on my chair, at my desk.

“Sit.” He says having a look in his eyes that I have never seen before.

I give in and sit. I’m responsible for this.

Scream away… This time, I’m guilty… I admit it…

“Do you know how much I care for you?” He scans me with those stormy eyes. Shit…

“I know, Don. I’m sorry. I lost it for a second. I usually keep it inside. I don’t know what happened.” I have a semi-submissive stance. I see how much affected he is. He’s tormented in his all because of me and has a mad look.

“Selena!” He stands up and comes to me. He grabs me from the chair and takes me into his arms. “You kill me!” He tightens his arms around me.

A tear makes its way down my cheek. I feel his strong muscled chest and his accelerated heartbeats.

Yeah, I’m sorry… Shouldn’t have called you… I did it without realizing…

“I’m sorry… I’m human, too. I have weaknesses, too, you know?” I accept his embrace and hug him back. I think I needed a hug. It gets me back to my senses more.

Thank you, Don. You’re an Angel. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re always there for me.

“Stop saying sorry. I’m not mad for what you said, I’m mad for I thought I would lose you. If there is anyone in this world that would break me, that’s you. Don’t play with my heart, Selena. It’s half broken since five years ago. Don’t kill the remaining half.” He keeps me into his arms.

Yeah, well… It was probably better to die back then and have no awareness of the present shit around me… I’m too sick and too tired…

“I know. I’m OK. You won’t escape me. I would come back and haunt you, if I’ll ever die of natural causes.”

We both break into laughter. I want to break the embrace, but he doesn’t let go.

“Don? That’s enough. Limits.”

Don’t make me trash you… Don’t ruin the moment…

“I don’t want to.” He says on a puppy voice. “It feels really good.” He tightens the grip more.

DON! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

“Don! I can’t breathe! I’ll kick your ass!” I push him away. He pouts. “Really? Don’t take advantage on my state. I love you, but not like that. Don’t cross the line. Please. You’re the only one I have.”

“Why can’t you accept me as a man? Just tell me. I would do anything you want me to. You know that.” His eyes are gloomy.

Here we go again…

I brush my face with my hand while I close my eyes. I sigh and turn my eyes back at him.

“Don. I don’t need you to do what I want. I’m not taking advantage on you or your feelings. It’s not that is something wrong with you that I don’t accept you as a man. It’s just I don’t feel it. I don’t know how to explain it. I have no feelings for anything. I’m so soiled with problems. I don’t get to sleep very much. I have insomnia. I have no vacation for the last ten years. I have high blood sugar levels. And some other shit. All these don’t let me feel anything for any man. Since I caught my dad cheating…” I stop as my heart clenches when I remember.

He loved my mom. Forced her to marry him. Then he cheated on her and I caught him. I was 15. While I was taking care of my bedridden mother who went into clinical death right before my eyes, cleaning the house, cooking, learning for school and all, he was fooling around like a bachelor. And he loved my mom and still loves her. His one and only. But he had multiple mistresses. Well, until he ran out of money and understood that only family stays with you all the way.

“I wouldn’t do that to you. Trust me.” He makes a step towards me.

Who the fuck believes you, Don?!