Pov. Izzy
I'm surviving school, I mean, it can't be worse than it once was, I expect at least a truce from the daily jokes I heard before, after all my parents died is I'm not a very normal person, I need more time to deal with emotions other than anger and hatred. So I'm sitting here now facing the school psychologist as she makes a long speech about how sudden losses can affect your emotional mildly to moderately.
Mild to moderate.
It seems to be an advertisement to spread the medicine for pain.
- Miss, Lavely Ballard. - it catches my attention and I face it.
- Yes, Mrs. Ritter ? - I question without knowing what she was talking about.
- You should be paying attention, you know very well what happened a year and six months ago. - she answers seriously and I crack his teeth. - What happened between you, the young Carter and miss Miller was no joke, it was serious is unacceptable. - he says and I smile.
- Of course it was. - i sneer facing it. - So serious that only I and miller suffer the consequences while the one who should not be named is around happily casting unforgivable curses on those who cross his path. - I say and she sighs.
- That's not the issue, what you are miss miller did was... - I interrupt you.
- What we did was in the past is past should not be called unless it is necessary and I see no need for it. - I say trying to keep the tone of my voice low. - You called me here to talk about the pain of mourning and not to recall the past as if we were best friends or as if you were my aunt. Now if you will excuse me, I have more to do, I've heard enough about adolescent suffering. - I get up completely.
- You are very insolent, you will still suffer the consequences of that. - say as I walk to the door.
- We'll see. - I answer by opening the door and then face and smile before leaving your room.
I always fill my bag wanting to touch on this subject as if she were a judge and I am a prisoner being tried by her hypocritical court. I walk in silence to my closet, the hallway was apparently empty, I say this because people here come out of nothingness penada soul sent by the hood to scare people. I feel like laughing at myself and my stupid thoughts as I stop and open my closet looking at the rose, I keep looking at it and thinking about the note that I don't even notice that there is someone behind me.
- Look the crazy has received a rose. - hearing Travis' voice made me turn my eyes.
I ignore his presence and his voice of someone who has not gone through puberty and start to keep my books.
- The crazy is pretending to be deaf, let me get your attention better. - he says and then punches the closet next to mine and I turn to face him.
- Wow, I'm surprised. - I say seeing some people approaching.
- With what crazy sweeps ? - confused question crossing his arms and I notice his face and his red hand.
His friends were behind him in silence, just smiling at the situation as if he was a super comedian and I was one of his favorite jokes.
- You know what it is... - I start by pausing and approaching him. - And that I have never seen a donkey knocking on a door before, I confess I am surprised and sorry of the door that she had the razer of her unclean hand touch her. - full and the people who were approaching made noises, but in the background I see the young girl just quietly watching everything with her hands in her pockets.
- You think you're funny, don't you ? - questions with his face red with anger. - thanks to you the carter... - the interrupt.
- He got what he deserves, garbage like you and he will never get dirty forever, so you better shut this mouth. - I say angry feeling my heart racing.
- Come and shut me up then. - says taking his coat off the team to display his muscles asa form of intimidation.
- I am not afraid of you. - I say and he laughs.
- There must be, your little brother gay is not here to protect you. - she says and my heart beats so fast that I feel suffocated.
I feel my hands shake and I quickly pull them close to my body, deep down trying to calm me down, but a loud humming was hurting my eardrums, I felt more furious than I've been feeling for almost two years and when I feel I'm going to lose control and throw myself against this idiot I feel someone holding my hand and shaking it. I look to the side and see the novice looking at me seriously and then she put herself in front of me, but without letting go of my hand, I don't know how, but somehow I felt less suffocated and my heart seemed to normalize the rhythm of the heartbeats.
How ?
And when did she approach it so quickly ?
- The show is over, now if you give us permission my school tour guide has to show me the canteen. - it says and then turns around closing my closet with your free hand.
- Who do you think is to meddle where you were not called ? - says Travis irritated and the girl looks at him with a look of boredom.
- I have no interest in introducing myself to insignificant people, my interest here is only the girl behind me, so you better get out of front of me. - says approaching him and facing him eye to eye.
He even tries to keep his eyes on it, but soon he digresses and picks up his coat and puts it back on.
- You do not lose by waiting. - she says pointing her finger at me and I turn my eyes.
- Look for me when you no longer use a phrase made from netflix movie bully. - I say and he comes out stepping firmly with his bow behind and I pull my hand to the girl to let go and she turns to me. - I did not need help, I know how to defend myself, I do not need a knight of the round table giving one of heroine. - I say and it does not show any reaction.
- I didn't do that for you. - says and then goes out walking.
Great.
It really does.
At least it didn't leave me totally in a vacuum this time.
I go deep and pick up my cell phone to call Nick, but by coincidence he had sent me a message telling me that the principal is going to release all the students after lunch, I sent a message asking him to let us have lunch at home and I came soon to get me out of this temporary captivity called school. I keep my cell phone and walk out of the school, it wouldn't take long for Nick to arrive, after all his sector and just the other side, as expected my brother arrived ina few minutes and opened the door for me, I entered and we went straight home. He certainly didn't know about what happened a few minutes ago and I wouldn't tell you, he's very protective, he would want to take satisfaction from the Travis idiot and be punished, that would leave him out of the basketball team games and I don't want to spoil any chance of him getting an invitation to play in the professional league of Pennsylvania.
He has already sacrificed his way out of this city when all the play happened with carter is miller, he stayed here to help my parents take care of me and now he can't leave here until I'm older, so nothing more fair than me not to disturb his dream of playing in the state's professional league. As soon as we get home he gets out of the car and waits for me to leave, I know he will ask me why I didn't want to stay at school for lunch, so I just go out and sneak into the car thinking of some good excuse.
- Will you tell me now or later ? - question and I look at my nails.
- Later. - I answer laughing and look at him.
- It's serious, Izzy. - he says and now I turn my eyes. - I was going to introduce you to a person today. - complete leaving me surprised.
- Someone special ? - I ask and he settles.
- Yes, I can't tell you anything, but you know I'm a fool, I've known her for two months, she's Dutch, she's doing an exchange here. - he answers and I smile.
- Likes European girls in. - I play and he smiles.
- Silence. - she says and then looks at me seriously. - Something happened ? - he asks and I remain silent.
I look at him who was looking at me with his evaluative blue eyes, looking at the background to see the jaguar of the new neighbors stop in front of the house next door and who gets out of the car makes me angry and surprised at the same time, which makes me have a crazy idea.
- I'll go out with a girl. - I say seeing the girl close the car door.
- What ? How so ? Who is this girl ? - he questions crossing his arms and I look at the girl who walked towards the door of his house without diverting his attention to the sides.
- With Valentina, our new neighbor and my classmate. - I answer and he looks at the girl who was entering his house.
I thank god that she is distracted and has not noticed anything or heard my lie. I focus on Nick who was paralyzed looking at the door of the girl's house without any expression until he wipes his throat and looks at me.
- I did not know that you also like girls. - says seriously and still without expression.
- Is this a problem for you ? - I ask him seriously and he quickly denies with his head.
- What ? No, of course not. My best friend is gay, it wouldn't make sense for me to have some kind of prejudice against my sister if I accept my best friend and also I'm not that kind of guy, I accept people as they are independent of anything, for me the best thing is to have a good heart. - he answers and I smile, but soon I open my eyes.
- Wait, is Jensen gay ? - I ask him surprise and he settles down.
- Of course, if I said he's gay, then straight he can't be right. - he answers with a mocking tone and I show him the middle finger.
- Idiot, did you know I had a crush on Jensen ? - I ask and he denies.
- No, but I would support it, but as this has no possibility of happening, I ship him with Henry. - replies Nick and there was fun in his tone of voice.
- Henry McGregor, your other best friend ? - I ask and he settles.
- Yes, I would like to see my two best friends together, but Henry has been dating Sasha for years, so no chance of that happening, but I still go out because they would be cute together. - he answers and I smile.
- You're really a fool. - I say throwing my backpack in his direction and he quickly holds it.
I walk towards the door with him behind me, I open it and I go in, then I play on the couch taking a deep breath and thinking about how much I lost in the time I closed myself, Jensen and gay and I didn't know, not that this has the relevance of a scandal, but he and Henry are like brothers to me, the two and Nick always did my will is Miller. We always played the five together, even being younger, they made a point of including us in the games, including basketball which I thought and still find a little boring, but due to the passion of the three musketeers, I ended up getting used to having this sport as part of my life.
- Are you thinking about your meeting ? - asks Nick getting my attention.
- No, I was thinking about how things were before. - I answer and he looks at me surprised.
- That is... - the interrupt.
- Strange, I know. - I say and he laughs.
- I was going to say new, but strange also serves. - he says and I smile.
- I just miss Miller, Henry, Jensen you and I playing in the tree house on the farm that was our grandparents. - I say and he settles down.
- I'm sorry too, but after that you changed, Miller's parents made her leave the city and I and the boys had to learn to be without you and without her. - he says and I can feel his frustration because of his tone of voice.
- I'm sorry, I thought what happened only affected me, but we all got hurt from that. - I say and he settles down.
- You weren't alone, none of us were, but it's a shame that the Miller's thought this and took Sarah out of town, you, you didn't leave town, but on the other hand, you weren't the same person anymore. - he says and I sign feeling the emotion hit me hard.
- I'm sorry. - I ask and he denies with his head.
- There is nothing to excuse. - he says and I deny.
- Yes, I just thought about myself, I was selfish. And I say that, because I've never answered any email or message from Sarah, I have no idea how she's doing, I feel stupid about it, she stood by my side when I needed it, but I didn't get by her side when she needed it, I was weak, fell and did nothing to get up all this time. - I say and he approaches and holds my hand. - But I promise, I will not disappoint anyone else, our parents died without seeing me free from the past, but I swear I will not make the same mistake now. - complete and he smiles down.
He sits down and hugs me, we stay like that for a long time until his hoarse belly makes me laugh.
- I think the monster that lives in your belly woke up, let's ask a fast food rescuer for you. - I say and he settles down.
- Yes, in the meantime you will tell me exactly how you met the new neighbor whom I could not analyze because she walks too fast and I want to meet her before you leave. - says crossing his arms.
My god.
It's hard.
How am I going to wrap up this fool ?
Being even more cheesy.
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