Bonus Chapter. MyAnna & Kai POV

MyAnna was not a stranger to heart break. She had had her fair share of relationships in her life. And as we know they don't always end happily, but something about this loss hit her much harder. It was … irrational, maybe. Hard to understand even for her. How she could care about someone so much, someone she had been too afraid to approach. Too afraid to admit her feelings for - until it was too late.

She had seen the same longing she felt in those green eyes that haunted her - both awake and asleep. Nikki had felt the way she had felt and instead of embracing it they had waited, worried, and lost so much time. Now she couldn't escape. She didn't want too. It felt like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest and the only time she felt even a small amount of anything but overwhelming sorrow and anger was when she saw those green eyes again.

With one blink of an eye she was no longer standing alone in front of her mirror. In just one blink those emerald eyes had her pinned to the spot, her chest aching with every breath.

"You look beautiful," Nikki whispered in her ear, fingers brushing against her cheek with her other hand holding her waist. Admiration, adoration, and dare she say love in those sparkling green eyes. "Is this all for me?"

Another blink and she was alone again. Tears fell from her eyes. It felt like someone had slipped a knife into her chest - twisting and turning. Her throat burning with held back sobs.

'Blink' - MyAnna forced herself to swallow. Even when the sensation hurt like everything else. She turned so her back was to her mirror and once again met emerald green. The smile on Nikki's face was enough for the breath to catch in her throat as she studied her. Admiring the dress MyAnna had finally settled on.

'Blink' - "Of course it is," She whispered into the empty room. MyAnna had changed it six times, wanting nothing but perfection for Nikki. Even if her girl couldn't see what she was wearing. Even if MyAnna would never see that smile or hear her voice again unless it was like this. "Do you approve?"

'Blink' - and Nikki was back. She wanted her, she craved her. She fucking needed her. But this was all she would ever get. "I don't think you're aware," Nikki teased with a sweet smile, stepping into her personal space. So close MyAnna could practically smell her, almost feel her. It wasn't enough, It would never be enough again. "But I approve of everything you do."

'Blink' - "You couldn't have told me that when you were alive?" A sob finally tore from her throat, and she cleared it with a deep breath to try to hold herself together. She was tired of crying, tired of feeling. Just tired.

'Blink' - "I died for you," Nikki's head was tilted as she studied her, like it was the last time she'd ever see her. Tears in her eyes turning emerald to sea green. She wiped a stray tear from MyAnna's cheek with a bittersweet smile, "Does that not prove how much you meant to me?"

'Blink' - MyAnna clenched her jaw and her hands balled into fists. Her emotions were unpredictable these days. Switching rapidly from anger to grief and back again. She surveyed the damage done in the room she had occupied at Nikki and Kai's house.

She had smashed two lamps, the vanity mirror. Both nightstands were overturned and multiple glasses of wine had been smashed, staining what used to be a pure white carpet. Last night had been rough for both MyAnna and Kai - who had done her own damage to the rest of the house.

People were busy calling, messaging, posting on social media their condolences to them both - and it hurt. It hurt when one or both of them would sit and for a minute, maybe even just one minute forget that she was dead - that she was gone - that she wasn't coming back…and then to be reminded over and over, and over again.

Everyone had witnessed their last moments together. The kiss that both brought a part of MyAnna to life and killed it along with her lover.

MyAnna hadn't been completely oblivious to the cameras that were watching them, but she didn't think they would do what they did. Maybe that was short sighted on her end. Their 'Titanic' Moment as people were calling it - had gotten over 800 million views last that Kai had checked, broadcasting the devastating end to the young life of Nikki Hart.

Truly, her life was just beginning. She had turned her book into 20 different publishing companies before one had finally accepted it - and what a smart decision that turned out to be. It sold over one million copies in it's adolescent months. Eight million by the end of it's first year.

The movie rights were sold not long after and along with it came a contract for four more books that would now never be written. Now that she was gone? Her popularity skyrocketed. The rights to her book being sold to over twenty six countries. Her name on everyone's tongue. Her movie just surpassing 'Avengers Endgame' in highest grossing film on opening weekend.

It only served to fuel MyAnna's anger and no one understood more than Kai. As a result, they found themselves alone together a lot these days. Finding solace in the shared emptiness. It was an unspoken agreement. If they were going to be filled with anger, sorrow, grief and mourning - they would silently support each other. It's what Nikki would have wanted them to do.

Kai had been angrier than MyAnna had seen anyone when people had tried to capitalize on the young writers death. Practically begging both Kai and MyAnna for permission for the book and or movie rights to what some were calling their 'Titanic' moment, while other's referred to them as a modern day Romeo and Juliet…an LGBTQ one at that.

When the video had begun to go viral, it was clear that while no one truly knew the relationship between the actress and the young writer - maybe not even the two of them. It quickly became a single minded narrative.

A story to end the times. Nikki had died for love with MyAnna as her Juliet. Who didn't want someone who loved you so much they were willing to throw themselves into danger for you? To selflessly sacrifice their own life to protect yours? They were envied and admired. And MyAnna didn't know whether to be flattered or disgusted.

'Blink' - "You're angry?" Nikki questioned, her fingers coming to soothe the angry furrow in MyAnna's brow. MyAnna's chest once again ached painfully. It was so hard to remember she wasn't real. God she just needed her to be real!

'Blink' - "How can I not be?!" MyAnna yelled into the empty room. Turning away from no one. Here she goes with the irrational anger. It was so confusing for her to be so angry at Nikki. At the world? Sure, but at Nikki? Her beautiful Nikki? But it was also hard not to be. She had left her… Said all of those beautiful things to her. Looked at her the way she did. Made her feel things she had never felt before and then left her here, alone. "You're gone! You're gone and you're not coming back. You left me here alone and I don't know if I can even remember how to breathe without you,"

She hadn't yet admitted that out loud. Without these moments with Nikki - real or not…she was lost without her. She hadn't even had the time to realize how much she needed her before she was ripped away from her.

'Blink' - "I would come back to you if I could," MyAnna's eyes closed when she felt Nikki's arms wrap around her waist. Her back being pressed against her chest. How did it always feel so real? "I would do anything to be here with you but I will never regret saving you,"

'Blink' - And as it always did the anger would leave as quick as it came. She wanted to be angry, to scream and yell and smash things but it never helped. At least not for long.

"And what if I wasn't worth it? What if you threw your life away? Left me? For nothing?" Another thing she hadn't yet admitted aloud. How she felt unworthy. What Juliet wanted to live without her Romeo?

'Blink' - "Oh, my love." Nikki's voice cracked as she turned MyAnna to face her. Cupping her cheeks. Her own tears falling freely as she embraced her. "You will always be worth it to me."

A kiss filled with so much desperation and anguish it threatened to swallow them. Clumsy, messy, tear filled. Nikki swallowing all of MyAnna's sobs while MyAnna tried to mold her body to the one in front of her. Nikki lifted her so MyAnna's legs were wrapped around her waist. Walking them back until MyAnna's back hit the wall. MyAnna's hands were on Nikki - one fisted in her hair and the other gripping the back of her neck because if she let go then Nikki would disappear and she couldn't handle that.

"Please," MyAnna begged against her lips with a desolate sob. "Please come back to me."

'Blink' - The room was empty. She opened her eyes and she was once again alone. Her back against the wall. Her breathing erratic. She could still taste her lips, feel her skin on her own but it was all in her head. It hadn't been real.

Nikki was gone and she couldn't come back. No matter how many times reality managed to slap her in the face it still felt like pure agony.

"MyAnna.." A hesitant knock on the outside door. She knew who it was immediately. Kai. Kai who was suffering with her own loss, the loss of her sister. Her own demons. "Are you ready?

No. How could she possibly be ready for today? She tried to take a few deep breaths but she couldn't breathe. She couldn't feel anything but despair. She could hear screaming and it took her a few seconds to realize that it was coming from her.

Kai turned the knob but it was locked. She rammed her shoulder against it - Once. Twice. Three times until the door broke and managed to catch MyAnna before her knees gave out. This had been a regular occurrence. The pain they both felt was a little too much for either of them to bare.

Kai tried to keep her own tears at bay as she listened to the despair coming from the woman her best friend had loved. She would take care of her, she would do it for her sister. It's what she would have wanted her to do.

'Blink' - "You were the best sister I could have asked for, you know that? I don't think anyone could ever compete," Nikki was sitting on the floor beside them. Her eyes were sad as she stared longingly at MyAnna.

'Blink' - Kai hadn't had as many of these as MyAnna did. She would sometimes sit outside the room and listen as MyAnna talked to Nikki, or yelled at her. Begged her to come back. Just so MyAnna wasn't actually alone.. even if she had no idea Kai was there. Today she knew it would be the worst for both of them, and Nikki would be everywhere - even if she wasn't.

'Blink' "Can you tell her that I loved her? That I saved her because I loved her?" Nikki rested both of her hands on her two favorite people. One on MyAnna's back and the other on Kai's cheek to wipe a few of her tears. "That I wouldn't of wanted to leave either of you - but I can't ever regret what I did."

'Blink,' - Robotically Kai cleared her throat. It ached but she would do this for her sister. "She loved you," She repeated, knowing it was nothing more than a balm to an open wound that had yet to close. "She loved us both and she wouldn't have left if she had a choice."

"And what about me? What about you? Did she not consider that we loved her too?!" The anger didn't replace the pain, just joined it. Neither MyAnna nor Kai could control either.

"She knew, but it makes no difference. Between your life and hers? She would choose to save you, every single time."

Kai had grew up hearing stories of a 'Twin Flame' and she had told Nikki about it.

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Flashback..

"You know if I didn't know any better I would think you and her were twin flames." Kai motioned between MyAnna and Nikki as they stood across the room from each other.

Nikki, who had been watching MyAnna gravitate through the room. Looked away as if she had been caught with her hand in a cookie jar - so she missed how MyAnna's eyes were now the ones watching her. "Twin flames? Like soulmates?"

"Do you know the story of soul mates in terms of Greek mythology?

Nikki furrowed her brow, "No I don't think I've ever heard it." Her furrow turned to amusement when Kai's eyes lit up, excited to tell her. She always indulged her sister in her obsession with mythology.

"In the beginning there were three parents: Sun, Moon, and Earth. Each produced an offspring, round and otherwise like itself. From Sun was produced the man; From Earth, the woman; From Moon, the androgyne. Each of these three was a double. One head with two faces looking out in opposite directions. Four arms and legs, and two sets of genitalia. They moved about on the earth with a great deal more freedom and power than humans do now, for they rolled-ran hand over hand and foot over foot at double speed." Kai began and then looked to see Nikki once again watching MyAnna.

"Keep going, I'm listening," Nikki insisted with a roll of her eyes,

"One day, these fast, powerful, but foolish creatures decided to scale Mt. Olympus to attack the gods."

"They never learn, do they?" Nikki chuckled causing Kai to grin.

"Of course not," She rolled her eyes, "So, what should the gods do to show the foolish humans the error of their ways?" She turned her voice more like a narrator and Nikki laughed playfully hitting her arm. Unaware that MyAnna was once again looking at her.

"Should they shoot them down with thunderbolts?" Kai asked,

"No way, that's too boring," Nikki countered, thoroughly invested. "Didn't they do that to the giants?"

"You're learning!" Kai praised, "Besides, who would pour out libations and offer sacrifices to them if they destroyed their worshipers? They had to devise a new punishment."

"The gods and their egos,"

Kai leaned forward, mirth filled eyes while she tucked her hands in her pockets. "Zeus thought and thought. Finally he had a brainwave! Humans weren't a real threat, but they did need a dressing down. Their arrogance would be checked if they lost their speed, strength, and confidence. Zeus decided that if they were cut in half, they would be only half as fast and half as strong. Even better, it was a re-usable plan. Should they act up again, he would repeat the operation, leaving them with only one leg and one arm each."

"Ouch, imagine only walking around with one arm and one leg,"

"After he revealed his plan to his fellow Olympians," Kai continued as if Nikki hadn't spoken. "He asked Apollo to join him in putting it into effect. The King of the Gods cut the man-man, woman-woman, and man-woman creatures in half and Apollo made the necessary repairs. The face, previously facing out, Apollo turned inward. Then he gathered all the skin together (like a purse) with an opening in the middle as a reminder to mankind of his earlier state."

"Oh ew, disgusting!"

Kai laughed but continued, "After the surgery, the half creatures ran around frantically looking for their other halves, seeking them out, embracing them, and trying to join together again. Unable to join, the creatures despaired and began to starve to death in their sorrow. Zeus, again mindful of his need for worship, decided something must be done to recharge the creatures spirits, so he instructed Apollo to create a means to rejoin temporarily. This Apollo did by turning the genitals to the belly side of the body."

"So, sex?"

Kai groaned, "Yes, sex!" When Nikki raised her hands in mock surrender. Kai nodded her satisfaction. "Anyway. Before, mankind had procreated by dropping seeds on the ground. This new system created an interesting new means of producing offspring. The creatures who had been double women before, naturally sought out women. Those who had been androgynous, sought out members of the opposite gender. Those who had been double men, sought out the company of men, and not simply for intercourse, but so they could become whole again by being rejoined with their soul mates."

"So, you're saying once upon a time, MyAnna and I were two faces, four legs and four arms combined into one person?"

"Sort of... What I'm saying is, a twin flame is one soul split into two bodies. Constantly yearning to reconnect. Its instant, intense. Your emotions are heightened, you're like magnets. When you move, she moves. You sense each other, crave each other. Location, timing, circumstance it's all irrelevant and even if you tried with everything in you to fight it - the universe will manipulate it all so you can finally come together. Only in that moment, when you finally give in…will a new and all-encompassing love be born."

"I knew you were a secret romantic," Nikki teased with a sly grin before she turned serious. A longing sigh leaving her, "If we are twin flames - then I don't have to do anything. In the end, we'll be together. One way or another."

End Flashback..

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Kai had always believed in Twin Flames, and she, with every fiber of her being believed that Nikki and MyAnna were the primary example - she just never imagined she would have to see the devastating consequences of losing one's twin flame so early on.

'Blink' - "Take care of her for me?" Nikki took to running her fingers through MyAnna's hair. As if she could feel it, Kai felt MyAnna shudder in her arms.

'Blink' "Always," How could she do anything but keep her promise to her sister? Especially on today of all days.

Kai watched MyAnna closely on most days, even if the blonde wasn't aware she was watching. A common consequence of losing your twin flame was broken heart syndrome and Kai swore to Nikki that she would not let MyAnna succumb to her grief like that.

It was hard. Harder than she thought it would be to live without her sister. She needed her, they had been together since they were children and now she had to figure out how to live her life without her.

Something that became abundantly clear as time passed was that you don't lose someone all at once - even when they die. They linger, they stay with you…both herself and MyAnna were slowly losing pieces of Nikki and maybe that hurt more than the original death had. Kai was secretly glad she had someone to share the burden with.

It hit when mail stopped showing up in Nikki's name. No more royalty checks, or subscriptions to her favorite magazine. That had been when Kai couldn't handle her own anger and similar to MyAnna's guest room - Kai's had taken a hit.

They had taken to sharing pieces of Nikki's clothing - most of her hoodies going to MyAnna. Kai knew Nikki would have wanted her to have them. They split her pillows and Kai had given all six of the blankets on Nikki's bed to MyAnna but neither of them could bring themselves to disturb the room by sleeping there.

The next part that hit both of them like a truck, causing another downward spiral was how quickly her scent had started to fade from all of the items. It was there but it was faint and one day they would have to walk into the room knowing it would be completely gone and they'd never smell it again.

Nikki's room was a shrine, a museum or maybe a tomb that kept her things preserved and untouched aside from her clothes and blankets. Her hair brush sat where she left it on her vanity, makeup littered haphazardly. She had been nervous the day of her movie premiere and didn't bother putting any of it away.

Three different pairs of heels were laid next to the bed, you could tell she put them on and quickly kicked them off again when she decided those weren't the ones she wanted to wear.

On the desk in the corner of the room sat her pink fuzzy lamp. The book she written placed beside it, open and turned upside down to preserve her spot. The bookmark thrown to the side. Her glasses sat atop the keyboard of her still open - not on - Laptop. A notebook beside it with a sparkly red pen that's cap had been chewed. Nikki had been working on her second book.

"Are you ready to go?" Kai asked again, voice barely above a whisper when MyAnna had finally stopped crying. Small hiccups coming from her throat. It was the day of Nikki's funeral. A much larger event than Kai knew Nikki had wanted, but Kai and MyAnna had been overruled. The publishing company and Lillian herself all insisted the fans deserved to say goodbye too.

"Do I have a choice?" MyAnna managed to choke out bitterly, her voice hoarse and tired. It wasn't like she didn't want to be there but she didn't want anymore audiences to her grief. Especially not the fans who have turned Nikki's death into a spectacle. Rationally she was aware it was their own way to cope but she didn't want to be the Juliet to Nikki's Romeo…she just wanted to be the MyAnna to her Nikki.

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The funeral was beautiful despite her reservations. The hews were lined with white, blue and purple lilies. Countless bouquets and flower arrangements surrounded the white coffin. Nikki looked beautiful, but when didn't she? It was an open casket, and the amount of red roses left as people made their way to say their last goodbyes would have made her smile.

Nikki's favorite song - Running home to you by Grant Gustin - was playing in the background, or at least the orchestra version. Piano, violins and even a cello. Lillian had spared no expense. Cameras were filming, snapping photos - MyAnna and Kai were on public display. Much to their displeasure.

MyAnna managed to breathe, to keep her tears at bay until the collection of hundreds of fans began to sing along with the music when surprising her - someone started to sing at a microphone she had only just now noticed.

A dedication to their love, and again she was Juliet to Nikki's Romeo. A Romeo who had died to save her Juliet. It caused her heart to squeeze painfully, a knife twisting in her gut, her throat to burn, and tears to fall even when she tried to stop them.

"You gave me no other choice, but to love you.." She could only manage to whisper it while they sang. Any louder and she was afraid she would break down and she didn't need another viral video posted about her right now. She ran her finger down Nikki's cheek. It was cold and the sensation caused her to flinch, a broken sob leaving her throat that was drowned out by the collective.

'Blink' Nikki's green eyes were open, staring up at her with a smile. "All I wanna do, is come running home to you."

'Blink' She was once again still, non - moving. Once again cold and peaceful. MyAnna's hand shook as she placed the singular rose next to Nikki in the casket. Knowing this would be the last time she got to see her physically. Touch her. Smell her. Feel her.

She managed to walk away with her head held high, her steps sure and her breathing even.

'Blink' - "One step at a time, my love." Nikki whispered in her ear, walking beside her with her arm wrapped around her waist for support. "I'm still here,"

'Blink' She turned in time to hear the song end. Kai had squeezed her glass of whisky, blood running down her hand along with the broken glass. MyAnna rushed to her with hurried and worried steps.

"Are you okay?" MyAnna asked needlessly while wrapping a handkerchief someone had handed her around the bloody hand but the desolate look in Kai's eyes answered the question for her.

Neither of them would be okay for a very long time.