Chapter 68

Adrian emerged from the water in the cave where he trains . He propped himself up to sit on the pedestal while his legs are still be pedaled in the water. He grabbed the branch of leaves that rested waiting for him and he ate its fruit . He forced himself to chew and with every forced action, he felt his head spinning and he tried not to cringe as he swallowed because the juice cauterized and tasted very bitter. But he couldn't care less , the corrosion helped with the aching that consumed him yet manifested less like a stabbing but rather as an embarrassment .

Adrian had gone to look for Valian but he decided against it as he didn't even now where to start. instead he went to the library .

To further support his erratic decision , he convinced himself that it won't be such a bad idea to look for Ryle because he sort of misses his handsomeness and it's been a while since he had been in his presence. It's no secret that the only times that Adrian sees Ryle is if he himself visits or they have a chance meeting like at the lab.

It does bore him everytime he has to act interested in what Ryle says since he enjoys blabbering about alchemy. Adrian just listens and asks inquisitively on the little bit that he caught . It's like how Herim would talk endlessly about sewing but that is still better because Adrian can list and recognize all the stiches Herim has made. How can he not when Herim likes to embroider on Adrian s clothes and some of his bedding too or even on a piece of cloth then sneak it into Adrian s room. Plus it's less stressful to listen to types of threads than types of leaves

Since it's pretty late into the day and the wolves are very fed , they won't show up for the next four to five hours which explains the emptiness of the library . They would all want to sleep after eating and some might even got to the point of transforming.

He walked into the library and he took off his shoes. Immediately he scanned the entirety and there was no sign of life. If what the situation presents itself as is true, Adrian felt it is very irresponsible for Ryle to leave the library open even if the wolves are very less likely to steal a book.

He peered at the upstairs sitting place and the bottom arrangement of chairs yet his findings remained unchanged. He walked away from the place he had left his shoes.

Thanks to removing his shoes, he was now only wearing socks so he moved like he was flowing . he stepped towards the shelves on the left . It felt weird for him to be here alone because should someone else find him, he won't be able to defend himself by giving a reason why he came to the library, let alone at this hour of day.

Uninterestedly he picked a book that was laying on one of the tables . He paged a few times but came to an abrupt stop when he heard a strange sound.

He knit his eyebrows then turned his head ti the direction of the sound. Another different sound was made that sounded like muffles thus he was convinced to go and check it out.

He carefrelly walked towards the doors of the display room and the sound didn't change at all.

There was no attempt to conceal the noise thus there was no reason for him to hide his approach. Just a few feet from the doors, his eyes changed color to red and so did his hands while he held the book.

He steeped closer and closer so the muffling metamorphosed to mumbling which turned to speaking though it was in audible. This distinction of a voice numbed all alertness that was going to attempt to sprout as this confirmed he was not in any harm.

The door wasn't firmly closed , that's why he could hear what was happening and that is how his eyes were going to be able to steal a look into the room or the conversation

He locked through the space of the door and though his vision was not maximized and though he was seeing in red there was no mistaking that there were two individuals in the room and they were very much intimate.

To be specific, it was librarian Song Ryle and alchemy student Zhang Joln in a secluded place together. Ryle had pinned Joln against the wall and not in a way of attacking him but teasing him.

Joln appeared like he was a shy boy being baited to confess and Ryle looked like a lion whom s prey was falling into the trap.

" Are you upset that I didn't show up or that you were thinking about me the whole time?", He spoke and the way he said it made it seem like it's an obvious thing that Joln was diluted by him but he is in denial.

Adrian s color faded from his eyes and the book he was carrying began to weigh tonnes

" Wh . Why would I", he couldn't even deny .

" Just admit it. My face was running through your mind the whole time and the way that your heart is beating right now is proof", he spoke trailing his finger down Joln s nose, the same way he did to Adrian

Adrian felt like a bucket of water just got dumped on top of him. He felt like he had just got laid on the floor and the whole world was asked to wipe their feet on top of him. He didn't notice it but his mouth had hung to open and his eyes began to twitch as his heart wanted to scream words his mouth couldn't say.

The reason why Ryle is so scarce is because....

Ryle moved closer to Joln s face the same way that Herim moved to Joln and Adrian felt his face , feet, palms and lips go cold.. he felt his whole brain, perspective and understanding crumble and he merely watched.

When their faces were significantly less than an inch apart, Adrian began to hyper-ventilate visibly and when his orbs showed Joln closing his eyes, Adrian turned from where he was standing and he blast to his shoes, peeled them off the ground and he ran holding a library book and shoes in the other hand

The more distance he covered from the library, the more his reality seemed to blur and his ache started to become flow like an avalanche throw his body.

He stormed off towards his bedroom with the objective of going to hide under the sheets ..

Within ten seconds he was breathing like he was experiencing an asthma attack and calling for air that refused to enter his lungs.

His eyes caught fire once again and his heart was scorched red . Whenever they are like that ,they reveal a lot of thing especially those that recently happened or a related to whatever Adrian has on his mind. So right now, the only thing ruling his head, heart and soul is the events between Joln and Ryle so the things he will see everywhere would be that of them or anything related

Every step he made every breath he took, he would see Joln s silhouettes passing haphazardly while holding books , another while he is with Syin ,sometimes with Herim who was playing with his hair. They were everywhere and it seemed that Herim was also appearing approximately every single place that Joln had been. Ryle was no exception, he saw him with Kijad, Jakhyer, Herim and all the others. They were about a hundred and more shadows and they drove him crazy

' the reason he is so distant is because of Joln, the reason he is so .. no way.. it's not possible but then again what makes it impossible ' he thought to himself and almost collided onto a silhouette of Ryle with some other wolves but he stepped out of the way .

He passed by the path leading to the resident side and the buildup in his soul just exploded . As his mind focused out the many conversations that were happening , his ears caught on particular conversation that was somehow the loudest...

"Joln to me , your happiness has become more of a priority than breathing .Your very existence is the fuel that helps keep me alive ", a silhouette of Ryle boldly confessed to Joln and Adrian stood facing to the side.

The world spinned for a moment as he heard words he never thought would come out of Ryle s mouth to another s ears

"...In my heart, soul and mind, there is only room FOR YOU".

" ONLY ROOM FOR YOU!! "

"ONLY ... YOU!! "

Like a sharp spear, the last two words echoed and drove through him at the speed of thunder and left him feeling like he was going to throw up. He stood there beaten and worn out . He subconsciously turned to the side to see who could be uttering those words even though he already recognized the voice

HE SAW RYLE CLINGING ONTO JOLN

Adrian exhaled in defeat and hot air spewed from his lungs .his mind went blank and so their silhouettes froze .

At the same time , he dropped a single a tear and then silhouettes of everyone who had used this route today became fuzzy.

" Xiao'An, Xiao'An.... Why do you look like your skin is peeling off? Look at me , take a look at me", a petite joyful voice called in front of Adrian but he couldn't hear a single thing

" Look at me, just once, pretty please", the voice pleaded but Adrian panted and panted while only one eye seemed to be overfilled with tears that leaked seamlessly. In the next few seconds, he turned his head like a rusty mechanical arm and he looked forward.

Arbitrarily he stepped away dragging his feet and the hundred of silhouettes kept following and passing him like he was the illusion, like he was the non-existent individual

" Xiong'An, what are yo..", a wolf called among the silhouettes and instead of Adrian responding, he blast off to the end of the island ..

When he reached shore , he jumped to the sky and he flew to the nearby forest. In the next three minutes, he landed and he ran to the cave.

Behind him a petite voice called him to come back and not to run away. The voice begged and begged but the more the voice requested, the more Adrian ran then disappeared.

He passed by a small tree and he tore of its branch that bore berry-like fruits that can be used to treat illnesses but he intended to use them as a drug.

( Present moment)

He let the branch to the ground and he trailed his hand through his hair again. He placed his hands on his face and he could not help but chuckle

The words said by Ryle ran through Adrian s head and paced back and forth like a rocket . He couldn't help the unproclaimed heaviness, emptiness and idioticnesss dining in him right now

He looked like he had ran out of blood and his face had gone pale . He looked like he was losing his life yet his face was puffed from all the crying. His wet , whitened hair just made look like he was negotiating with death

He sucked the dryness off his lips. He chuckled sorrowfully and he laughed at himself. But the more he laughed the more tears came.

" I am a fool. Even right now I am convinced that you all were playing but the signs are so wide. He acts like me. Joln hates Jakhyer for being close to you, you are so distant because Joln is occupying your mind. What is he doing to earn such feelings from you ", he questioned the air but the only answer he got was his eco and before long he let his torso fall backwards

" Why do the both of you have to like him so much? Joln this , Joln that...", He screamed . Adrian knows or suspects that his childhood play mate , Herim likes Joln because he has seen the way he looks at Joln and it's sort of the stronger version of how he looks at Ryle .

Even though everyone pairs Adrian and Ryle s status, he is more similar to Herim . Herim is hated for not having an honor and his mother being the way she was while Adrian is wanted extinct because his father was a noble and Kijad is a sect leader. Both are hated to death , both have done nothing wrong except being born and both have contemplated suicide. Plus they grew up together so he would know if Herim liked something .

He felt like slapping himself. not because he is feeling like he is losing his mind but because he should have read the signs yet didn't ,he should have been wiser but wasn't.

Adrian elevated his leg out of the water only to throw it back in . he sobbed so pitifully because of the foolishness he imposed on himself

" You told me never to show my weakness yet put me in situations where I can only be weak?", He asked and he hiccuped immediately after that. The berries were intoxicating

" I like you so much but now you will never accept these words because they are not his. Somehow it just hurts that I thought I stood a chance despite knowing that in your eyes I am just a lost child. Just because am younger, does that mean my emotions are invalid? Just because my tongue is still soft, does that mean my declarations of affection are folktales? Just because I am me,does that mean I can't... ", he sobbed and closed his eyes

" I hate myself. I should have known better ...", he told himself and in that sentence he let go of his face

A tear trickled down his closed eye as he realized that he must bury his unrequited fondness of Ryle because there is someone else in his everything and that someone is not him