Chapter Three

Class the next morning had…an interesting start, to say the least. Little merrows from the pod joined the lessons, most of them stared at me for the majority of the time spent. Their appearance is so much more alien in comparison with their parents and elders. Eyes completely filled by their irises so they must wear special glasses for protection. Their hands are webbed, I suspect in order to move until their tail muscles are properly developed. As the oldest in the class, it’s my job to make sure everyone is ready to learn before Anka arrives to teach. Although this is usually not an arduous task, I begin to feel out of my depth as the merrows seem to want me to get in trouble.

“Everyone, please!” I am trying to keep my voice steady. If they catch on to how I’m feeling, they will take advantage of that. I look down when I feel someone tugging at my sleeve. Tara. My favourite pup.

“Um, Ellie?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?” I wipe up some spilled water. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Um…my buddy had a accident…”

I look over to the desk she’d be sharing with a merrow for the next two weeks. The poor kid was looking down and crying.

“Thank you for telling me,” I say as I pat her head. “You go back over and tell him I’d like to see him, okay? I’ll take care of it.”

She nods and delivers the message while I grab the necessary cleaning supplies. The merrow cries as he apologizes over and over, making space for me as I clean up the mess.

I just smile at him and say, “Hey. It’s okay. We’re going to get it fixed. Okay?”

He nodded.

“My name is Ellie. What’s yours?”

He sniffs. “Pike…”

I write a note to Anka explaining my absence and pass it to Tara to give to her. “Can you please make sure Miss gets this when she comes in?”

Tara smiles and nods.

“Good girl. Pike, can you come with me?”

Pike shuffles behind me, avoiding everyone’s gaze as a few laughed at him. I take him out of the schoolhouse and into the big house, making my way to the bathroom my roommates and I share. It’s at this point that Pike bursts into tears.

“I’m sorry!” He sobbed. “I made a mistake, I didn’t mean to! I promise!”

“Hey, hey,” I kneel in front of him, using my soft voice. “Pike, it’s okay.” I gently wipe the tears off his face. “It’s okay. You’re more used to having a tail, accidents like this are bound to happen as you get used to it.”

He nods and swallows in an attempt to stop crying.

“How does this sound. I’ll run you a bath, you can get cleaned up, and I’ll ask my friend if you can use some of his old clothes?”

The little boy nodded again and fiddles with the bottom of his shirt, legs crossed as his breathing begins to speed up.

“Hey, hey, look at me. Is something wrong?”

Pike finally met my eyes. He was on the verge of crying again. “A-another one is coming…”

“That’s okay, here.” I take him over to the toilet and lift him onto the stool, helping roll his pantaloons down. “Sit.”

He sits.

“Now you can relax.” I smiled at him and turned to run the bath.

The noise is mostly to give him a bit of privacy, as he is clearly embarrassed. Avoiding eye contact would probably be best, as well, I decide, as I go through the products under the vanity in search of something suitable for a child. Perhaps the apple oil? No, that’s for Clara’s ritual baths. She is very protective over her supplies. She’s not much of a people person, which makes me wonder why she’s the one in training to be the next High Omega. She’s very gifted in politics and spell work, the whole pack knows this. Several packs know about her.

“Pike?” I keep my eyes averted as I speak.

“Mmm?”

“Do you like the smell of flowers?”

“Mmmm, yeah! My favourite ones are the blue ones on the sticks!”

I can hear a smile. That’s good. “You mean lavender?” I hold up a bottle of bath scent with the flower on display.

“Yeah, that’s the one! I wanna smell like lavender!”

“Okay,” I chuckle as I pour the scent under the running water.

“It smells so pretty!”

“It does, doesn’t it? It’s not my favourite smell, but it’s nice to relax to.”

“What does this do?”

I turn and see him holding the sprayer to his face. His finger is on the trigger. I calmly take it away from him.

“This is a sprayer,” I tell him. “It’s to help you clean yourself after using the toilet.”

“Oh. Can I try?”

I pass it back to him and leave the bathroom to find him something to wear. Picking up my pager, I send a message to Kaylum to meet me in the room. He arrives after a few minutes.

“You called?”

“You answered. Do you still have your clothes from when you were little?”

“Why?” He folds his arms. “What did you do?”

“Oh, I did nothing. One of the merrows made a mess and I’m trying to clean him up.”

Kaylum started digging through his closet.

“I’m not sure if these will fit,” he announced as he emerged. “But here.”

I took the clothes and held them up. An off-white shirt, dark brown canvas pants and a red tunic with a leather belt. At least he has decent taste.

“I know it’s not much…”

“Kaylum. It’s perfect.” I smile at him, and he returns the favour.

After a few minutes, there is a knock from inside the bathroom.

“Ellie?”

“Yes, Pike?”

“I’m clean…can I get dressed?”

I open the door slightly and hold out the clothes. The little merrow takes them gingerly and mumbles a thank you as I shut the door.

“Just let me know if you need help, okay?”

“I will.”

By the time we got back to class, the other children had forgotten why we left. Pike took his seat next to Tara, and I sat behind the others. We have a good system in place. I read a chapter from my textbook while Anka explains the lesson to the rest of the class. Once they understand and are doing their work, she comes to help me. It’s more, telling stories rather than any actual structured lesson. Today she’s teaching me something special. I’m not sure what yet, but I can feel her apprehension from here. She finally makes her way over.

“Ellie, there’s not much more I can teach you until you find your element.”

Oh…she seems disappointed.

“But, there is one thing.” She passes me a book with 6 women on the cover. They each appear to be royalty, but with colour schemes.

“Anka?”

“Clara isn’t interested in the gods. But you, I’ve noticed you absorb certain information like a sponge.” She taps the cover. “This is one of those topics.”

I blink in surprise. So…these women are…

“The Six Queens?”

Anka nodded. “The Six Queens.”

I smile took over my face as I leaned over to hug her.

“Thank you!” I whispered. “Thank you so much!”

She held me and chuckled “You’re welcome.”

Butterflies fill my stomach as I feel the cover of the book. The 6 Queens. Six Nature goddesses, each presiding over a certain season. This is a gorgeous cover, each Queen has her own square. Sunivra, the Summer Queen, has a green square with what appears to be a carved oak tree, where she sits in the center. Her gown is a deep emerald sheen, with gold twists along the edges and seams. Rudeneja is the Queen of the autumnal equinox. Her square is a light brown colour, like natural pine wood. Her symbol looks like some kind of berry, and her sundress is a mixture of browns and greens. Aurellia. Arguably the most beautiful name among the group, her symbol is an acorn, on a light orange background. She stands in front of the acorn in a bright red jumpsuit, with a peach sweatshirt underneath. Eira couldn’t more clearly be the Winter Queen. A sky-blue background, she wears a large white fur coat, the colour matching her hair almost perfectly. And as I look closer, I can see she is standing on a snowflake. I must wonder, though, who is she reminding me of? Verna appears to be the youngest, running barefoot in the grass wearing a flower crown and light blue romper. It’s not normal to have a crush on a goddess, is it? Is it even a good idea? Probably not. Finally, there is Aviva. Her gown had one of every colour on it, and she stood in front of a rainbow.

They aren’t directly related, but consider each other family. That’s all I knew up until now. The current Queens are, as I find in the book, not all the same age. Sunivra is the fourth Summer Monarch recorded. It’s an intense amount of reading, so for now I’m just skimming. Verna is the newest member of the group, and I don’t think she knows what she’s supposed to be doing. The book says she’s the first vernal Queen, but if Eira is only the second winter Queen, and the oldest in the group, wouldn’t she know if this was true? Sunivra is the second-oldest, followed by Aurellia, Rudeneja, Aviva and Verna respectively. I’m not completely sure if this is accurate. Anka tells me that the gods started going quiet about 20 years ago, but no-one, not even their devotees, have heard from them since a war that happened around the time the pack found me. Looking at their faces again, the Queens feel…almost familiar.

Their realm is known as Cirta. It’s a sort of in-between place, not physical but not completely in the spirit world. Apparently, if you die and the Queens favoured you in life, you could serve in one of their courts for a certain amount of years before leaving Cirta in your physical body. But that’s just a legend, nobody alive today knows is it’s true. As far as I’ve found.

“Ellie?”

It looks like there’s a sort of…retirement system in place for the Queens. A set period of service, after which they may allow one of their offspring, preferably the oldest or the youngest, to take on the responsibility of ruling while the parent either fades over time, or takes on mortality-

“Ellie!”

It takes a moment to process the book has been snatched from my hands. I look up at Kaylum.

“What?” The classroom is empty. “What time is it?”

“Late,” he huffs. “You missed lunch. Again.”

Oh. It’s not a habit, it just happens when I get into whatever I’m doing.

“Kaylum, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

I hold up the book. “Any of this. Doesn’t your guide tell you anything?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault he found his family!” He turned away. “He’s been looking for his sisters for years, and only just found them. I’m not gonna bother Carlos just because I haven’t heard from him in a couple months. That is not how it works.”

I sense something deeper than what he’s letting on.

“Sounds like you miss him.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t. He has his life, I have mine. Now come on, we have stuff to do.”

I follow him back to the house. The silence is thick and I can feel him building walls around his mind. I don’t get it. We share a room, have almost the same practical classes, and follow each other like shadows. And I still know the bare minimum, like his favourite colour and when not to ask questions. Like now. I’m not stupid, I know when he’s hiding something. When I try and talk about it though, he just shuts it down.

“So,” I say, trying to break the tension. “Carlos.”

“What about him?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I shrug. “You just seem a bit down, and I know talking about him usually makes you…y’know, not be upset.”

Kaylum looks out the window. I ball up a sheet of paper and throw it at him. It hits the back of his head.

“What’s the deal?!” he growls at me.

“What’s your deal?” I counter. “You’ve been doing nothing but mope and study for the last season, and for what? Because your ‘boyfriend’ left you on read?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Kaylum stands and gets up in my face. “He’s a spirit, so stop fucking asking!”

“Touchy. All I did was try and cheer you up, calm down.”

My friends scowled and went back to the window. Cheer-up attempt number 1 is failed. I’ll try again later.

I decide not to let Kaylum’s mood bring me down, and the best way I’ve found to clear my head is a walk. Whether it be in the woods or the orchard. So that’s where I go. Once the house is hidden from my view, I take my boots off and start running. Not many would react well to knowing someone who can shift only halfway. It’s either all the way, or not at all. And then there’s me. Only half-way. But hey, I’ll take what I can get.

As I run, my feet change in the same way as they did during my test, along with my hands. My body anticipates a hunt or a fight, but such desires shall not be satisfied today. Then again, who says I can’t have fun while exercising? My lips curl up as I leap from branch to branch, digging my claws into the wood for extra grip. I sometimes come out here when I’m in a bad mood. The rush that comes from the actions helps me work through it. The only downside is that once it’s over, that’s it. It takes what little energy I have left to get back to the house. Never mind up to the room, getting up onto the porch is miracle enough. Doing it for fun, however, is a completely different story altogether.

Sometimes I lose myself in the ecstasy of running in the woods as if I’m the only creature in it. This is how I ended up in the bottom of this ditch. From these discarded bones, it looks like an old hunting pit. Traditionally, pack hunting was treated as a festival. We didn’t take more than could be replenished, even if that meant going a year or two without hunting.

A cool breeze sends a chill through my body, and a second presence settles beside me. This is unsettling. Maybe if I ignore them, they’ll go away. I pretend to take an interest in the bones at my feet, but the presence gets stronger. I can feel it reaching into my mind. I don’t like it, but I can’t stop it.

“How pathetic,” says a masculine voice, catching me off guard. “How are you still alive?”

Just ignore it, Ellie. Ignore it long enough, it should leave.

“I know you can hear me, Sorellina. Your mind was easy to get into. Look at me.”

Dammit…

“I can’t see you,” I reply. “Where are you?”

There is a chuckle from the spirit. “I knew you could hear me.”

Yeah, that’s great. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh…I can’t tell you that.”

Nope, nope, nope. I scramble to try and get out of the ditch. Any spirit that won’t give you their name when you ask for it, could be dangerous.

“Are you trying to leave? Here, let me help.”

I felt the spirits hands on my waist as he lifted me up and out. Gods, it’s not a good feeling. Once he let me go, I booked it straight back to the house. I shall now avoid that certain patch of forest. I climb up the stairs to Anka’s office and knock with urgency.

“Come in!”

I enter and shut the door. Anka is at her desk, working on something. She looks up and smiles.

“Ellie!” Then she sees my face. “My goodness, what happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” My teacher stands and pulls out a chair, which I accept. “Would you like some tea? You’re so pale.”

“Yes, please. I think I may have…”

As Anka goes to the back of the office to prepare the tea, I sit and try to process what just happened.

“Care to fill me in?” She sits opposite as the tea brews.

“Well,” I start shakily. “Kaylum was in a mood, so I decided to give him some space and go for a run. Then I fell into some kind of ditch filled with bones…”

Anka just nods and leans forward. She’s listening.

“And then…someone got into my head…”

She blinks. “As in…?”

“As in, their consciousness connected to mine in order to talk to me.”

“Oh.” Her eyes glass over as she ponders this.

“It felt so weird, violating.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a mind link?”

I nod. “His words were, ‘Your mind was easy to get into.’ He called me ‘Sorellina,’ what does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Anka admitted. She then got up to bring the tea over. “We can look to find out, though.”

I guess. “He helped me out of the ditch when he wouldn’t give me a name.”

“Be very careful.”

A standard warning. No name often means ill-intent. I take my tea as Anka passes it to me and nod my thanks. An inhale discloses the components. Peppermint, red clover and apple blossom. My favourite. We continue our conversation for a bit, ranging topics from schoolwork to basic politics, and just about anything in between. That’s my favourite thing about our High Omega. No matter what you do or where you’re from, her simple grace and honesty are enough to help anyone open up.

Roughly an hour passes before either of us decide to check the time. I should probably get going.

“Thank you for the tea, Anka,” I say as I stand.

“Thank you for the company, Ellie.” She smiled at me. Let’s hope Kaylum’s head is out of his ass.

It’s not, this is obvious from the yelling coming from inside the room. As I open the door, the subject comes to light. Clara said something. Why am I always the one to put out their fights?

“-me talk about it!”

“Maybe if you didn’t shut us out, we wouldn’t always be asking!”

I sigh. “Clara, leave him alone.”

They both go quiet as I open my book for evening study.

Clara speaks first. “Can you tell Kaylum to keep his stuff on his side?”

Not this shit again…

“And can you tell Clara to keep her nose out of other people’s business?”

I slam my book shut and turn to face my roommates. “And can you both learn to mind each other’s boundaries? Clara, you’re the oldest. Why are we always having to resort to violence for you to stop asking sensitive questions? Kaylum. You’re the alpha, so why are you not setting an example? And while we’re on the subject, why do I always get dragged in to be the mediator? It’s not my job to clean up after you two, I’m not your mothers! Mind yourselves, and let me study for one goddamn night, please!”

My veins burn as my hands heat up like coals. This happens when I get angry.

“I’m taking a shower,” I announce, leaving the two in silence. Granted, I didn’t need to be so harsh. It just makes me so angry that they act…like that. And I have to sort it out? No, thank you.

Hold on. Why is the water making my skin hiss? Was I about to catch fire? I check my arm, only to be disappointed. It wasn’t magic. My body is just being weird. Or maybe I’m going crazy, all this wondering when I’ll find my element is starting to get to my head. Maybe I need a vacation. I guess I could ask Anka for a week off from classes. Would it be worth it, though? What good would it do? I can’t take time off until the classes end, which will be a few weeks. But can I wait that long? I don’t know. Couldn’t hurt to ask. But the pups…someone needs to keep an eye on them. But as a student, is that really my job? Maybe if I got some kind of recognition or payment, I would consider doing it on a more regular basis. But I’m busy enough as it is, between studies and training. I don’t even know what I’m wearing to the ball at the end of the meeting, or who I’m going with. I don’t want to be stuck watching the pups from all three packs, even if someone else will be watching them with me. I want to be able to enjoy myself for once, have some decent fun. Instead of literally anything else that could happen. Mostly, I just don’t want to hand the pups back to their parents after the party. Great, now I’m thinking about my own. All I know is I have no memories further back than four years old. Which is frustrating as hell. I don’t get it. Why can’t I remember? I swallow my tears. If I won’t remember it in 5 years, I don’t need to worry about it for even 5 seconds.

I leave the bathroom feeling refreshed and in a better mood, and settle at my desk to study some more. I know I do this a lot, but I’d rather study magic than mathematics. I know just enough maths to make a decent living should I follow a career outside the pack, however unlikely that is. Ok, back to the book. Hang on… it’s no longer in print… How did Anka find it? Hmm. I can ask her tomorrow before class.

Tok!

Not again…

I open the window and climb down the tree.

“What do you want, Nyx?”

“I want nothing. I need help.”

“Yeah,” I interrupt. “You still haven’t told me what with.”

“I’m pretty sure I heavily implied that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with no choice in what I do with my time.”

Well, yeah. But not in so many words.

“I’m not going to help you unless you tell me where we’re going.” I fold my arms in a challenge. This might be a bad idea, seeing as I’m younger and weaker.

“We need to hunt, first. No-one approaches this person without a gift.”

“Who is it?” I follow Nyx as she leads me into the woods, walking calmly this time. “And why-”

“I don’t know his name. But his pack is a bit on the small side, and there’s not a lot of prey near them. So, as payment, we need to bring a kill.”

I nod, as if this makes any sense. How poor does a person have to be to not be able to have even decent hunting grounds? Never mind a whole pack.

We get to the woods, and Nyx looks at me expectantly.

“What?”

“Well? Aren’t you going to hunt?”

Excuse me? “And why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you? I asked several dragons, you were the first to say they’d help. I can’t go back with my mother, you must understand.”

“I don’t, actually,” I reply. “I don’t know either of my parents.”

“Oh.” Nyx blinks in surprise. “What about that woman in the brown?”

“That’s my teacher.”

“The man in the waistcoat?”

“Pack Alpha. He’s my trainer.”

Nyx is silent for a moment. “You can hunt though, right?”

Unbelievable.

“Well, I’m not on the team-“

“But you are trained by your alpha.”

At least she pays attention.

“So why do you want to leave?”

“Make me repeat myself again,” She moved her wrap just enough to show the hilt of her blade. “I dare you.”

“What are we hunting?”

“Atta girl.” She smiled and patted my shoulder.

The sun is setting, and so far, nothing has been good enough for this mystery alpha. No hares or goats. Deer have seasons, and hunted carefully to ensure a constant supply. Just as well I’m not skilled enough to hunt them yet, I guess. Then I catch a scent.

“Nyx?”

“Yes?”

“How does he feel about wild sheep?”

She shrugs. “Didn’t ask.”

“I’m gonna try.”

I crouch to take off my boots, allowing my feet and hands to shift. I know I could probably shift more, but I don’t want to take any chances of losing control.

“Wait here for me?”

“Oh no, I’m following you.”

Alright, then.

I mute my scent and follow the trail. Our wild sheep are a bit strange-looking, with their short hair, and front set eyes. I don’t need to wander far before finding my prey nibbling on a tree branch.

Snap!

It looks at me when I accidentally step on a dry twig. I can do better than this!

The ram turns tail and runs away. Oh, no you don’t! I drop to all fours and give chase.

Never run directly behind your prey, I remind myself as I move slightly to the left. Man, I missed this feeling. This feeling of excitement as you chase your prey through the trees, lengthening your strides to conserve your energy. This game is one of survival. The prey needs to outrun you. You need to outlast your prey. Your prey starts getting tired and slows down, so you take the chance to speed up, closing the distance until you’re so close that their scent fills your nose so much it burns and makes you growl as your excitement grows. Come on, just a little longer…I can almost touch it…

A split-second was all it took. I looked up as I heard someone approaching, causing me to slow down. It was as if time itself had stopped. His eyes widened when he saw me in his path and realized neither of us could move away in time. His leg connected with my side, and we went tumbling for quite a distance. When we eventually came to a stop, I was the first to stand. I held my hand out to him, but he seemed frozen.

“Sir? Are you okay?” I ask.

The alpha shakes his head and gets up. “Uh yeah…I’m good.” He brushed himself off. “I am so sorry for crashing into you, I should have been paying better attention to where I was going.”

“I won’t say you’re wrong, but you did cost me my hunt.”

“Oh,” he looks down. “I’m sorry…”

“What’s your name?”

“Oh of course, where are my manners?” He swept low into a deep bow. “Carter Brooks, at your service.”

I chuckled at the theatrics. “Ellie,” I return, holding my hand out for him to shake.

He takes my hand and turns it gently, kissing the back. I don’t know what to make of the burning on my cheeks. He’s charming, I’ll admit that much.

“A pleasure, I am sure,” he crooned.

“Yes,” I clear my throat and take my hand back. “Indeed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a ram to track down.” I turn away from him to make my way back to the trail.

“I can help,” Carter continues. “Will you let me help you hunt?”

“No I will not,” I reply. “Thank you for the offer, but more than capable.”

With that, I find my way back to Nyx.

“Where the bloody hells have you been?”

I roll my eyes. “Not even a ‘hello?’ ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Did something go wrong?’”

“Of course not,” she scoffs. “How could a dragons hunt go wrong?”

“I dunno, being run over by a wolf seemed to do the trick.”

Nyx looked surprised. “Could you repeat that?”

“No.”