CHAPTER 10 - Love, Hate, and Like

“You know this is pointless and stupid, right?” Herwin scowled with a deep voice inside her embrace.

“Eh? Won’t you hate me? Won’t you drive me away again like that time?” Maeve dumb-founded.

Herwin pushed her away.

“What are you trying to pull? Stop with this prank, I’ve figured you out.” He warned.

“It’s not a prank.” She denied.

“Then, what do you mean by I’m hating you?” He demanded.

“Well, I trying to say something you probably won’t like so.. you can hate me and we will never be friends anymore. It's kind of sad..”

“So do you expect that I will hate you if you say you love me?” He guessed.

“Um.. yes..” She admitted.

Herwin sighs and facepalming himself.

“Listen, I.. won’t hate you. Because I never said ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean I don’t like you, if you say you love me, I won’t hate you.” Herwin said as his hand was still on his forehead.

“Why?” She doubted.

“Why should I? You are my friend, plus you never do anything wrong. So why should I hate you?” Herwin explained.

“But I just said ‘I love you’ to you. Something you must hate the most.” She replied.

Herwin sighs one more time as he pulls her into an embrace.

‘He hugged me. His embrace was so tight and warm, it suffocates me, this is the feeling that I don’t like, the feeling I should stay away from. What should I do?’

‘I can’t understand Herwin, with this hug. I can’t understand Rou, with his kiss. I can’t understand anything, anyone... Please, someone, explain it to me..’

“That time, I drove you away, it wasn’t because I hate you, I just really want to be alone, I’m confused, I’m not in a good condition.. so, sorry about that.” As she emerged in her confusion, Herwin suddenly voiced.

“..and one more thing, I saw you as a girl. My sister to be exact, so you don’t have to think I am disgusted with you saying that.” He added.

‘No, it wasn’t because he drove me away that time. Nor because I am a girl or boy. What is this, I can’t understand!’

Maeve loosens up the hug and looks up at Herwin’s face.

“N-no... I mean.. isn't someone supposed to hate someone who said "I loved you", no?” She hesitated.

“What are you saying, no..” Herwin’s got very confused.

“If one has to hate someone who says that, then how do you express your feeling? Like.. what do you say to Inessa when you confessed to her? Isn't you saying you love her? The same goes with you girl... I mean you know... Caroline..”

“Ah, about that... I said.. ‘I liked you, please go out with me!’ pretty much ..” She revealed with a slight blush on her cheek.

Herwin frowned.

“ 'Love' and 'like' are two different feelings.” She continued.

“How?” He wondered.

“Um.. you see... if you like someone, it started from dislike, you didn’t even know him/her at the start. plus, like for me more to the one you would like to date, but if you love someone, it could be your friend, family or someone you already in love, such as you lover, girlfriend or boyfriend. So, love is something you must feel for them. It doesn't start from someone you 'dislove'..? I mean someone you hate. Love is feeling inside you from the moment you meet that person.” She explained.

“What’s going on here..” He stammered.

“Oh yeah? Doesn't make more sense to me but... I think we're cool. So, you said you loved me because I am your friend?” He repeated.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, you are!” She exclaimed.

“Then, why should I hate you because you said that..?”

“Oh, that was... I don't know... I just feel that love is something destined for us but humans shouldn't keep it and should hate each other.. instead?” She shared.

“Wait, what? Where did you learn that from?” Herwin shocked.

“Isn’t that human nature?”

Herwin would sigh again and this time he let out a very deep breath.

“Y-you made my fever worse..” He uttered.

“Oh no! I’m sorry..” Maeve panicked.

“It’s okay. It's just... I'm probably pretty exhausted to use my head too much to think..” He shared.

“It must be my fault.” She begins fuzzing.

“N-no.. don’t get started on that... Hey, why don't you..” Herwin paused.

“Why don’t I?”

“Stay here tonight and.. we can talk about that..?” He continued.

Maeve just realized it’s getting dark already by the time they talked.

Later that night, Maeve was still completely awake laying next to Herwin. She didn’t sure whether that guy was still awake or already in his deep sleep. That guy is a sleepyhead, to begin with. In that dark and quiet room, she thinks,

I sleep over at Herwin's. In his room, on the same bed. Of course, we were the best buddy, right? Nothing unusual about it. We talk a lot for hours and hours and I learn something big today.

Seems like love and hate is something different from my perspective than him. Is another human too with him? Or with me?

I'm not sure how old I am right now, but from 16 years of my life, I never knew this is how others view love, hate, and like. All of these were so new for me. Maybe this is what I have gone through before. That’s why I really treasure this life. I’m getting excited. What’s probably lay ahead from now on?

She glanced at Herwin who sleeps soundly. Did she love him? Or hate him? From the first of course, she loved him, but as she keep caring for him and doing kind things for him so he can hate her, which she was wrong when he said he won't hate her earlier, she don't know what to feel.

She supposed having a mutual feeling is a good thing. But…

Her mind suddenly thinks of Rou.

‘He.. what if he likes me? Should I too have the same feeling? But isn't I supposed to like girls? Uhh... I am so clueless.. maybe I was wrong. Should I ask Herwin about that?’

She is stuck in her deep thought and in the end, she doesn't remember when she fell asleep.

- CHAPTER 10 ENDS -